EMO

Lol, well I've never considered myself EMO before but if it does truely stand for EMOTIONAL - here I am. =] Unfortunately I think I've passed it on to one of my kids and I know it's needed in this world today, but I am so sorry. Yes, I cry at songs, commercials, movies, poetry - yes I take some things too literally when they aren't meant that way. Many people say they don't understand but its true the opposite way also, we can't understand why you wouldn't understand. Ha ha. =] Isn't life fun?

People don't understand why I would care if I was lied to, why I care that a friend doesn't act like a friend, why work gets in the way of friendships when something happens on the job, why there's never enough time to do the things you dream of in your head.. and so they stay there, unaccomplished. We were sent here to learn, not to sit on our duffers and watch life go by us. At times I think that's how I feel when days come and go and repeat nonstop the same again and again. However, what I'm not realizing is that my job right now is to help my CHILDREN learn and go and strive and be better, hopefully making the world better. I think as women that's the hardest thing. Men, unless they've reversed roles and some need to for uncontrollable reasons, but men - let me see if I can phrase this correctly. My husband works hard to provide for us, even at times working at jobs he hates or projects that don't work. He completed his education, has great friends he's made through work and church and its great to see when he is recognized for the worth he really has. Many of you have completed your education, than started your families - lol, I don't know, this isn't coming out like I wanted it to. I suppose, since I'm 40 in 2 yrs, that FREAK I'm prolly having a mid-life crisis! ROFL, interesting. I suppose I don't think I'm complete, where I'm concerned - that I don't have to give all that I could to my little part of the world =]. However, do ANY of us TRUELY, feel like we've EVER done enough?

Blah blah blah...blah blah blah blah

LOL.. somedays I really feel like that's all I'm saying; however, since I have no one to talk to til the kids get home from school... better to type it here than talk to myself >.< =D right? lol.

So as a control freak... yes, I admit it, it's like - OBVIOUS in some area's of my life. I dun know, should I rephrase that to be a "LAZY" control freak? I have learned to let SOME things slide or I would be MORE insane than I already am... rofl. Like, its easy to not care about the dishes while I'm downstairs, AWAY from them =]. When I'm done here and wander up there - it will totally annoy me. Like I TOTALLY hate my family room (orange carpet, things PILED everywhere, nowhere to sit); BUT, that's where my nice 42" TV and the Wii are :[ hmm. I really LOVE my children but do as every parent and have to figure out how to let them make their own mistakes =[ - UGH - hardest one of all, even if I wasn't a control fanatic. You know the times, family, friend, whoever - when you just want to grab someone and shake them? Yeah, lol.

For those interested, my girlfriend is still in the hospital but out of ICU. I'm hoping she gets to come home soon but she was in horrid shape so not sure when that will be. umm, k, guess I'm done =], really nothing "interesting" on this end. Enjoy the snow! ha ha

Back to the norm.... ewwww!

School starts tomorrow - YAY! oh, did I say that? Booo. HA! I love my kids and love being able to not start work until they all get up when school is out - but I can do without the bickering and the forgetting that I DO WORK and cannot take them everywhere during vacation. =[

So I want to end on a GOOD note for this blog spot -therefore, I'll get this one outta the way. Just interesting the way life works. I'm sure we all have people that we trust and THINK that we know, only to find out later - you were SO far off in left field! Unfortunately it happens to all of us. I really feel bad for those it happens to that are TOTALLY blindsided - husbands and wives, that just kills me - best friends with other intentions, why would they do that to someone? Last month was filled with secrets not told, than revealed regarding friends and their lives. Just makes me sad to think that people do that to each other, thankfully some people are very forgiving. An incident happened to me just the other day, to where I found out someone had been lying to me for over a year- HAHA AFTER they said that they had never lied to me - gotta love it! I really thought I would be hurt and angry, but I think I've done enough praying over this situation in the past 6 months that the Lord's just telling me, it's okay - see how messed up they are? I put you there for a reason. Isn't that a kicker! LOL. I honestly have no feeling regarding what the person did, one way or another - I just look back at my own actions and think WOW - I never stop being naive and a dolt do I? LOL - On facebook, I took a test: Which Pixar character are you? I was DORY! yeah, brainless ditsy me - I believe it said trusting and naive - well, I just proved them right =]. However, it also said that its not a bad thing to be those things. Someone needs to trust people and you never know who will prove you right and deserve that trust and change your life forever. =]

So - ending on COOL news - just like EVERYONE else in Utah it seems, we got a Wii for Christmas! It actually came on New Years Eve cuz by the time we got back from Disneyland they were all sold out. =[ - We have purchased 2 games beyond what came with it (sports) - so we have Cars and Guitar Hero, World Tour. We saw Guitar Hero, Legends of Rock - ooooooooooh , I WANT I WANT I WANT - LOL - but it's a freaky $89!!!! I think I'll wait til next bonus. =P Yes, if you were wondering - Guitar Hero is MY Wii game. I proudly get a 92% on the singing - Ha ha - only cuz they don't judge the quality of voice - just if you can hit the note!