Am I getting Old?

or is my spirit finally have a loud enough voice that it can now be heard over the yearnings of the natural man? We are supposed to have joy and rejoicing to do that we need to still play and be young. Therefore I'm wondering, it isn't that I'm getting old but that I've matured enough to know the differences. The difference between selfish pleasure and joy by being with those you love. Of being proud of someone's accomplishments and not having to have my own pride. Now the difficult part - how do I blend them together to become a great whole? I was told to have joy and rejoicing in my posterity not in myself, so I need to realize that taking care of myself is not a sin - as long as I do not make it all about me and me first.

Watching and listening to people is a good way to learn if you get the message. :) Trusting in the Lord and placing yourself in his hands is hard but he said it would be worth it - I think that is my toughest trial here and I thought I was too trusting. Obviously just not in the right people, should be a person.

Celebrating 17 years

Well, our anniversary was really Mar 30th; however, Dean had a project for work and I had no time off due to my FMLA so we are celebrating it TOMORROW thru Saturday. We may not be going anywhere special or far off but it is somewhere that we really love. It feels like you are away from it all yet you can get down to dinner in 10-15 min. It is just gorgeous, quiet, no cell phone service and peaceful. If you haven't tried the Alaskan Inn up Ogden Canyon - we highly recommend it - it's beautiful.

So what has 17 yrs taught me? 1. That I married a wonderful man and that no one could or would treat me any better. Is he perfect? No, but neither am I and I'm grateful that he loves me for me, many faults and all. 2. Life is not a fairy tale but it can have a happy ending if you choose it to have. 3. Forgiving and FORGETTING are really, really hard but are a necessity for a happy relationship. Always kiss me goodnight - it's true. 5. And the best advice ever given from Bishop Yancey in my singles ward - when he walks in the door at night, kiss him and hug for 2 min.- not seconds but minutes. These days, that it the best part of my day! To now that you are safe, loved, and embraced by someone who cares.

Happy #17 sweety - I know we both look forward to doing nothing! YES!

ICK - up a pound

Today is the first official day without Diet Coke - eek. I have my 32 oz of water, flavored with crystal light of course. :) With all the pills I take, I can't just drink water that much anymore, it gives off a funny taste - or maybe it's all the crap they've put it. Who knows.

I'm starting to explore the release of energy- HA, no not mine, I don't have any yet. But the need to release energy or boundless emotions - so stress I would guess. When it is all built up inside of you and you need to find a safe way to release it. I'm seeing this in the younger society these days and in my own kids. I feel it has a lot to do with Satan's grasp on society and the strength these youth will need for the upcoming trails they must face. Our job is to ensure that they have the proper faith, understanding, and nuturing to make sure they succeed. Hmm, now if there were only insight into that :S.

Embarassing as it may be......

Ok I have started AGAIN to dedicated myself to losing weight. I SO can't stand to look at the reflection in the mirror, so what I'm going to do is POST here my weight each week! AHHHHH - k don't all be horrified and fall off yer chairs, but I'm hoping if I share that, it will be an embarrasing motivating factor to get me moving!

I am supposed to: eat a healthy breakfast, have a sandwich or soup for lunch, a sensible, normal dinner and here are the heartbreakers: NO DIET COKE or soda and no snacking! Plus I need to walk 1 hr a day. I think my chiropractor will like that one =).

Okay so last week I weighed in at 222 and was up to atleast 4 diet cokes a day. (I'm a little stressed ok?) I walked 2 laps (15 min) about 3 or 4 times.

This week (I weigh in on Monday's) I weighed in at 220! YIPPEE - I have only had 1 coke today =) but have not done any walking yet this week. I need to talk to T about adding some sugar into this - as a chocoholic, no sweets I think will kill me! ugh.

I got permission =] Copyrighted by Tyler Klinger

This is "just a sketch" that took him 2 1/2 hrs 0_0

Finding a Lost Friend

I know I am not alone in feeling this. Many times in my life I have come across someone, if even for a few months, that I "instantly" know. Our spirits reach out to each other in recognition and I feel that I have found a lost friend from the pre-exsistence. These are the people that hold a special place in your heart and life, you never forget them- maybe their name if it's been awhile and you haven't kept in touch, but NEVER the touch of their spirit or the feeling of recognition. My greatest reunion of spirits was that of my wonderful husband. We knew each other instantly and the time passed here on earth did not matter.

I have a friend that I've never met in person but seemed to click with right away. Now a year later, as we are getting to know each other, we have found that connection. My spirit rejoices in the recognition and re-testifies to me of the powerful work and truth of the gospel here upon the earth. My friend is searching and longing for the truth and I hope one day he may put it all together for himself. He asks questions and I am grateful that I can answer them. I mention this for my friend is an amazing, beautiful artist. He should seriously be in a gallery somewhere. Back to subject - after one of our talks, I asked him to do me a favor and draw a picture of me. He has seen my RL picture of when I was first married and currently. But I asked him to forget those and draw me as "he" saw me or in other words - my spirit. Everytime I look at this beautiful drawing I cry. I printed it out to remind me - I am still beautiful and somewhere inside my spirit is sleeping and awaiting the day that I can overcome this stupid illness and be myself again. He has no clue what a simple picture has done for me and restored to me. I would like to share this picture but need to ask his permission first for he has put it in his portfolio.

So I guess back to a post I did a couple of weeks ago, you may see yourself in the mirror and not be happy with the body that you see. However, that is not YOU and you never know how others truely see you.

Spanish

Can you tell I'm taking Spanish classes? LOL It was one of the goals for work this year since the Universitad has mucho patients habla espanol. Making phone calls is not the easies thing and calling the interpretors 50 times a day is annoying. So, I buckled down, paid my dollares and am 1/2 way through my 2 hr a week class. My teacher immagrated from Spain just 4 yrs ago and she is adorable. I am learning "proper" spanish; however, I am told that any should understand me. It's pretty interesting trying to sing "Head, Shoulder, Knees & Toes" in spanish! and I thought I had a hard enough time with it in English!

General Conference

Yesterday was the Solemn Assembly where we sustained(declared our support & faith in) our new Prophet Thomas S Monson, his counselors in the first presidency and the quorum of the twelve apostles. We have prepared ourselves for 2 days of guidance, wisdom, and reminders from these brethern and other appointed speakers who will address us. It has been a wonderful conference so far, filled with many things of which I need to improve and know will help me if I but listen and obey. Ah the last word, Obey - it is so simple - why is it so hard?

I have made many wonderful Christian friends who are feeling lost, confused, and have questions. I do not have all the answers but I know who does. So I try to gentley persuade them to do what I've been taught; read their scripture and say their prayers. The two things that I need to work on - maybe the spirit is trying to tell me how to help myself while helping them. Duh. =) I have adopted many of these new friends into my heart and add them to my prayers daily for I know of some of the struggles that they face day to day. In a world so full of sin and hatred and fast moving clocks - how my spirit cries some days to have the physical strength and time to endure what my heart and spirit yearn for- a day of prayer and conversation with my Father in Heaven. For I know that he loves me and my friends, we are cherished in his sight and my poor little soul desires to "cast my burdens upon the Lord" and feel of his peace and quiet calm.

The last session is about to start and I look forward to hearing what the apostles and Prophet have to say. The items I am reaffirmed that I need to change and work on. I know I will never achieve perfection but I can atleast give it "my best and let the Lord do the rest".

Was Thinking

Well, I updated my profile a little bit ago and than received 5 emails yesterday with "all about me" info requests on it. So, it got me thinking - why not? So instead of bogging down the side of my blog, I shall post a few things here.=)

Favorite Artists
Dan Fogleberg
Charlotte Church
Def Leppard
Foreigner
David Lanz
Michael Buble
Josh Groban
Celine Dion
Mannheim Steamroller

Favorite Musicals
Gigi
My Fair Lady
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Phantom of the Opera
La Triviata (opera but you know)
Singing in the Rain
Sound of Music
Fiddler on the Roof
Kiss me Kate
Oklahoma
Newsies
High School Musical 1 & 2

I'm sure there are many that I've tucked away in my head somewhere =) I'll do more later.