Another Day,... a different Mood - lol

If I didn't know myself better, I'd think I was maniac depressive - lol. No, I think turmoil and stress just overcome and what I USED to be able to cover up, I no longer can. Honestly, I am the same person, I was just REALLY good at hiding it before - some of you have second thoughts about me ? ROFL In ways I believe it is good that I can't hide it anymore, I have to deal with things and not let them fester like I used too and it's probably healthier. Just bear with me, I will soon be able to replace my mask >] - ha ha.

Wow, this will be the first "different" New Years Eve in - forever! We used to go hang out with friends who had kids our age but they like us didn't like to wander out tonight, so we stopped. After my dad died, my mom, sister Reba, and even my niece Cherisa would come over for New Years Eve to eat munchies, play games - forget the time and suddenly somewhere after midnight say, "OH, Happy New Year!" - LOL! This year, isn't bad, it will be really fun - just different =]. No mom, no sister, no niece BUT Darran, Sharon and their kids =] - cousins for the holiday - FUN! And with the installation of the Wii - lol they should stay outta my hair as Darran and Sharon head off to celebrate their anniversary. The kids aren't too far apart in age - except for Anthony but he has an optional Youth activity with the church so he's covered. =]

Oops, they just arrived! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Reflections

I realize as this year comes to a close tomorrow night, that it is and isn't a year I'd like to forget. Inheritance being given is just money, a blessing to paying bills but nothing that would make this year wonderful. The fact it means my mom is finally gone - everything that was hers, except for what I remember and kept. Good friends going seperate ways, yet still having feelings and concerns for them. Good friends almost dying - very close friends actually dying and all the heartache that seems to blur the whole year. We had good memories in trips to Minnesota for a friends wedding, Disneyland for Christmas. In truth, I really hate depression, I honestly can't remember much of what happened this year - pretty sad.

In gratitude I am grateful that Dean and I's jobs are secure. We have been informed that there will always be sick people and people that need to take care of them - we even still have a bonus program in place where I work. We have a roof over our heads, healthy children with good friends and teachers, food enough to eat and all the necessities we need. Life should be simple, love spread around, and heartache in short measures. *winks, remember, my therapist told me I shouldn't say should or if.

Many lessons learned this year, many still being faced by many of us. I had a question asked of me, "Do you ever pretend to be friends with someone or to like them?". Good question, and I'm sure all of us could answer yes. The heartbreak of this question? Being on the receiving end and realizing your life is a lie. I'm trying to learn this lesson, trying to learn how to be a better friend, as I have realized of late, that I'm actually NOT the type of friend I expect my friends to be. How than do those true friends still stick by me and how do I ever repay them? If it is to be, it is up to me...... just wish me felt like doing anything.

It's NOT that time of month... grrrr, wish it WAS an excuse

Have pretty much spent the day on my own today. Had a migraine from my neck so didn't go to church - not my sunday to teach thankfully so I pawned off the "babysitter" position to one of the mom's. Down time days I'm finding I need alot of these days, but they don't seem to last long enough. I don't know if it's all the death mixed with illness, mixed with the season and the fact that the world keeps moving faster and faster.

Someone help me figure out how to make things SIMPLE! Relationships - any and all - it should be so easy to say I Love You and receive it back, no guessing games, no head games, no assumptions or thinking that they KNOW I do, so it isn't said or shown. Why can't we just come out and comfort one another, why do we have to feel embarrassed or ashamed or afraid that we will be looked down on, rejected, or heaven forbid, show that we are human. These are battles and questions I run around in my head all day every day. I get to a point to where I'm good again, I know who I am, I dun care if people don't love me, I love them so be it. And than something happens, who knows what, and everything falls apart and it isn't so simple anymore. How do you have a tough outer shell that repels pain but remain soft and loving inside?

Ugh, sorry guys, I'm a mess tonight. Just found out my friend in Canada isn't responding to treatment and ICU is afraid that they will lose her, which means so do I. I have never "in person" met this woman but we have come to love and accept each other as only true friends can. Even though she wasn't sure she wanted to be my friend in the beginning - we were "pushed" together by a younger, smarter friend who has since passed and wanted us to watch over each other. I now treasure her decision and hope that the remaining Heather will remember that though her life has been hard and horrid, she has much to live for still and people who love her. I have also been updating other friends to her situation and have become very frustrated with one. I know he no longer includes me in his life but he does still talk with her - ugh he is making me SO angry by not responding (I don't know if he even has received my texts) that I sit here and think of all kinds of pretty names for him. >[ But Heather would tell me "what happens happens" and wouldn't expect a response from him - I guess I thought more highly of him - therefore, I'm the one let down.

So why am I so ticked off at this post-friend? I think its more beating myself up than anything. I found out that my best friends husbands funeral was Tuesday - I had no clue, I didn't get to go, get to show my support or anything! I was supposed to take dinner in to my neighbor last week for the passing of her mom - I still haven't done that. What the hell has happened to me? Why am I suddenly the worlds worst friend yet biggest critic? Yes, thought does count but after losing my mom - thought doesn't count when someone doesn't know they are thought of. Perhaps that's it.... after losing her, I swore I wouldn't let anyone else feel that - yet, here I am- the image of the people I felt hurt by 2 yrs ago- where's the line? How do you let someone know you care yet give them space - comfort them - better yet KNOW when they need comfort and not be the dollar short, day late upcomer.

It's not always perfect

I made my layout with the Myspace Background Maker. Get myspace layouts, graphics, and flash toys at pYzam.

It comes in "three's" right?

Well starting the 19th, its just been one thing after another with my friends and my heart just cries for them. I can totally understand and feel with my friend who just lost her mom, I have NO IDEA how to comfort my best friend who just lost her husband and is gonna one day wake up when her kids go back to school and realize he's gone. And than, Christmas day, one of my closest online friends had her colon burst and thankfully someone went to visit the next day, found her and she is recouping in ICU.

Hmm, except for Christmas and the family party that was Saturday, can we just forget last week? I say that but I don't mean it, all these things shall be for thine own good - hmm - I just need understanding and the patience to receive it. =]

Speaking of family party we were missing quite a few and had TONS of food because of it! We always miss Jamie & Dave but I must say their Christmas Card was beautiful with their little family. We missed Jason, Jeremy and families - Dallas & Mike and Jeff - Emily and family - Alisha and Emma - though we are glad you didn't try to brave the storm. Josh & Amber, Heather & Jason and yep I think the rest of us were there - not the 90+ like at Thanksgiving but we atleast got to see you and catch up with you than. =]

Yesterday closed out another part of life. A final inheritance check from Mom & Dad. More than I expected but was blessed with and it will truely help us get back from Christmas and birthdays - and Disney! After 2 yrs, can you believe it? I finally took Mom's ring off - I still wear it, but not everyday. I can now go through days and not wish at every little thing that I could call Mom or that she would love to see this. Don't get me wrong, I still DO THAT - just not 30 times a day anymore. =] Every little step counts.

I've posted select Disney pic's throughout this as I feel guilty not having posted them before. Lol. If you have facebook, you've seen them there so I'm not TOTALLY behind. =]

Merry Christmas - a day late

Christmas was a crash day- very much needed but here I am again- lol 1:00 in the morning, playing on facebook, writing blogs - soon to be on the ocean - rofl. I guess that's what happens when you forget to take your pills, have only had 20 hrs sleep in the past 72.

It's been a nice Christmas though- small but great. Our major Christmas was Disneyland last week for 5 days. We took my niece with us and all had a pretty good time. We got rained on and it was freakishly cold that day- it was a 2 hrs only can we stand it - back to the hotel for the day. But that left us with 4 great days to play and relax and just enjoy not having a schedule or anywhere to be or anything necessary to do. What a GREAT Christmas present! The kids got up around 8:15 but since Dean and I didn't go to bed until (2) we made them stay in their rooms until 9. Lol - great having older kids. Santa brought Anthony cash, Ben a Lego Batman PC game and a Didj to help with his school work (he wasn't excited til he turned it on =0 mom DOES know something =P), and Olivia recieved a HS2 dance pad (she's wanted for a YEAR!) and a new disney princess CD player that will also play her MP3. They all received movies from Dean and I - Get Smart!, Wall-E, and Ariels Beginning - so at 11 am - I went back to BED and they contentedly went to watch movies! YES! how nice was that?!?

We missed going to dinner with Darran & Sharon due to weather & illness at their home. But are hoping that Mya and David can still come for the weekend - Olivia is OH so antsy to be with Mya again, I'm glad they get along so well. Terry family Christmas party is AFTER Christmas this year on Saturday - it will be great to see everyone again - I know its only been a month but some of you live - SO FAR AWAY - its nice to see you twice a year!

I hope all had a wonderful Christmas and wish you the best for the coming New Year. May our hearts find healing, our souls gratitude, and our love shared with all.

A Sober Christmas

I promised everyone Christmas stories each day this month and lagged off once we got back from Disneyland. Yes, it has taken me awhile to recoup - however, that isn't the reason. I honestly haven't felt like blogging - 0.0 everyone fall over.

Seriously, we got home and I pretty much stayed in bed on Friday- in order to sleep at Disneyland I took my nighttime sleep aid but didn't get 8 hrs that it required each night - =0 imagine! lol, so it demanded it on Friday =S. Sorry Boo. Once I did get up and moving I wished I'd stayed in bed. Around 1:00 in the afternoon my girlfriend that lives 2 houses up called, her mom passed away on Wednesday. Everyone here knows her mom and dad - they are a major presence in her life and at all the neighborhood events. She had breast cancer and they told her Friday that there was nothing more they could do but pain med - sounds WAY too familiar to me. She was sent home to die and that she did. Her funeral was yesterday, Dean and I attended the viewing with the family on Sunday night. So, saddened by this and wondering what to do for her... 3 hrs later we get a cell phone call from a Nephi #. Yeah, kind of worried me but it wasn't John's. It was my best friends mom saying that Stephanie's husband Wade had been killed in a head on crash that morning. I don't even have words to express, I can't even imagine the anguish or the loneliness. She and Wade have been married 15 yrs- her kids are a year younger than mine so she is now single mom to a 13, 11, 9, and 5 yr old. Again, I just can't imagine- since the day I got married, that has been one of my worst nightmares. It felt like forever to find him - granted I was 20 yet that didn't change the feeling.

I don't mean to put a damper on everyone's Christmas but maybe just a reminder of the real reason for the season. Love, the gift of and the joy of receiving. Yes gifts are nice, but isn't the reason you like giving them to see the joy on that person's face when you got it right? and the fun of receiving - isn't it really to see if the giver thought enough of you to get it right? The joy of Santa is really in the spirit of giving and love.

May all of you be blessed with that love this year. Merry Christmas.

We're home to SNOW...

and I'm soooooooooo tired.. had to take my psychotropic sleep pills so that I would sleep at night and could play at Disneyland. So, today it's catching up.... tired, depressed .. yeah.. dumb, lets give you a anti depression medication that's side effect is depression 0.o... duh. Oh well, it will wear off in a day or so as long as I don't have to use it to sleep tonight.

So sorry, no fun details, no christmas stories but I did update the profile pic of me and Dean with Goofy. Have a great day everybody.

When Santa Fell to Earth by Cornelia Funke

What a wonderful book, fun for families to read together, a little each night. It has a fun way of telling about the commercialism of Christmas.

"The angel is right," he whispered. "Niklas is the last true Santa. But if they had their way..." the elf pointed to a white door at the opposite end of the caravan-- "our dear Niklas would have been turned into chocolate a long time ago."

"Oh be quiet!" cried Matilda, while Emmanuel covered his face with his wings.

"Well, he's right, Matilda." Niklas took off the white beard and hung his red coat over his chair.

"Why? Who's behind that door?" Ben asked anxiously, and stared at it. The door was barred with three strong bolts in the shape of pinecones.... and elf boot was wedged into the keyhole.

"It's not a very nice story!" Niklas said. "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

Ben nodded, his eyes still on the white door.

"Ok then," Niklas sighed. "Maybe it's time to tell at least one child what really happened to Christmas."

Old gentleman Gray... .author unknown

Said old gentleman Gray, "On Christmas day, if you want to be happy, give something away." So he sent a fat turkey to shoemaker Price, and the shoemaker said, "What a big bird, how nice. And since such a good dinner is before me, I'll send poor widow Lee the fine chicken I bought." "This fine chicken, oh see! said the pleased widow Lee, "and the kindness that sent it, how precious to me. I would like to make someone as happy as I, I'll send washwoman Biddy, my big pumpkin pie!" and "Oh sure," Biddy said, "Tis the queen of all pies, just to look at its yellow face, gladdens my eyes. Now it's my turn, I think, and a sweet sugar cake, for the motherless Finnegan children I'll bake." Said the Finnegan children, Rose, Denny and Hugh, "It smells sweet of spice, and we'll carry a slice to the poor lame Jake who has nothing that's nice." "Oh, I thank you and thank you!" said little lame Jake. "I'll save the crumbs and give them to each little sparrow that comes." And the sparrows they twittered as if they would say, "Like old gentleman Gray, On a great Christmas day, if you want to be happy, give something away."

They shared with others... by Kenneth S Bennion

The raw November wind whipped needles of snow as it funneled between the old college buildings. The custodian, hurrying to work in the early morning, pulled tight the turned-up collar of his thin overcoat and bent his head to the wind.

A businessman parked his car and then paused to watch the man as he brought out a scoop shovel and began to clear the walks. Then the executive went on to his office. In a few minutes the phone rang in the office of the school administrator. "I'm Brother Lewis of the publications office. I watched your custodian this morning. He was wearing a very thin overcoat. Do you think that is the best coat he has for the winter?"

"Probably so," was the answer. "I have seen him wear no other."

"All right," said the official. "I have a coat that is slightly worn. It is really too heavy for me. I'll bring it to your office tomorrow."

The next day, when he brought the coat he said, "Tell him it is his to keep--- the coat and whatever is in it. But don't tell him where it comes from. I pass him every day and I don't want him to feel under any obligation when he sees me."

Later, the custodian tried on the coat and beamed with satisfaction when he noted its quality, the way it fit around his throat and the warm, heavy lining. He thrust his hands into the pockets and in surprise, pulled out a five dollar bill.

"Look at this!" he cried. "I must find out who gave me the coat so I can return the money."

He was reassured that the money was purposely left there for him. Smiling with happiness, he wore the coat away, his money clutched in his hand. Here were gifts to help keep him warm through the long months ahead. The man who gave the coat was also glowing with a new warmth, because he had provided comfort for a man who needed it.

The Cobbler and his Guest by Anne McCollum Boyles

The once lived an old shoemaker, loved and honored by his neighbors, who affectionately called him Father Martin. One Christmas Eve, as he sat alone in his little shop he said to himself " If tomorrow were the first Christmas, and if this Jesus were to be born this night, I know what I would give him!" He arose and removed two tiny shoes of the softest snowwhite leather with bright silver buckles. "I would give him these, my finest work." Than he reflected, "But I am a foolish old man, the Master has no need for my poor gifts."

He replaced the shoes, blew out his candle and went to bed. As he closed his eyes he heard a voice call, "Martin, you have wished to see me. Tomorrow I shall pass by your window. If you see me and bid me enter, I shall be your guest at your table."

Father Martin did not sleep for joy. Before dawn he rose and swept and tidied up. He used his finest linen table cloth and placed a loaf of white bread, a jar of honey and a pitcher of milk upon it. Than he sat vigily by the window.

A cold, old street sweeper passed by blowing his thin, gnarled hands. Father Martin invited him in to warm himself and have something hot to drink. The man gratefully accepted.

An hour passed and a young, miserably clothed woman, carrying a baby paused wearily to rest in the shelter of his door. He flung open the door and asked her in. He fed her and warmed her and her child and gave his finest leather shoes to the infant. Giving her two sous, he sent her on her way tearful with gratitude.

Another hour passed and many people came and went from Father Martin's that day. However the expected guest did not arrive.

"It was only a dream," he sighed. Suddenly, to his weary eyes the room flooded with light. To the cobblers astonishment there appeared before him, one by one, the street sweeper, the sick mother and child, and all whom the cobbler had aided that day. Each smiled at him and said, "Have you not seen me? Did I not sit at your table? " and than they vanished from view.

Out of the silence Father Martin heard the familiar words: "Whosoever shall receive one such in my name, receiveth me.... for I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took me in.... Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Trouble at the Inn by Dina Donohue

For years now whenever Christmas pageants are talked about in a little town in the midwest, someone is sure to mention the name of Wallace Purling. Wally's performance in one annual production of the Nativity play has slipped into the realm of legend.

Wally was nine that year and in second grade, though he should have been in fourth. He was big and clumsy, slow in movement and mind. However, Wally was well liked by the other children, only causing irritation when he wanted to play ball when winning was important. They would often tell him no, but he would hang around still hoping.

Wally wanted to be the shepherd in the Christmas Pageant that year but the director told him he had a more important role. He was to be the Innkeeper.

And so it happened that the usual, large partisan crowd gathered for the town's annual extravaganza. No one on or off the stage was more caught up in the magic of the evening than Wally. When it came time for Joseph to appear and knock on the wooden door, Wally was there waiting.

"What do you want?" he asked with a brusque gesture, opening the door.

"We seek lodging."

"Seek it elsewhere, the inn is full, " said Wally looking straight ahead and speaking vigorously.

As the conversation continued, and Wally still saying no, the Innkeeper relaxed his stance and looked at Mary. With that there was a long pause, enough to cause the audience embarrassment. "NO! Begone!" the prompter whispered.

"NO!" Wally repeated automatically. "BEGONE!"

As Joseph and Mary departed, the Innkeeper did not return inside the inn. Wally stood there and watched the forlorn couple. He mouth open, his brow creased with concern and his eyes filling with tears. - Suddenly the Christmas Pageant became different from all the others.

"Don't go, Joseph!" Wally called out. "Bring Mary back, you can have my room."

Some people say that the pageant was ruined, yet others -- many, many others --- considered it to be the most Christmas of all Christmas Pageants they had ever seen.

Why the Chimes Rang by Raymond Macdonald Alden

There was once, in a far-away country where few people have ever traveled, a wonderful church. It stood on a high hill in the center of a great city, and every Sunday, as well as on sacred days like Christmas, thousands of people climbed the hill to its great archways, looking like lines of ants all moving in the same direction.

The story continues that the strangest, most wonderful thing about the church was the chime of the bells. But the tower was so high that no one could see it since it rose too high in the sky. They were certain that at the top of the tower were hung Christmas bells and all that had ever heard them swore they were the sweetest ever. But no one had heard them in years. It was the custom that on Christmas Eve people from all over were to bring their offerings to the Christ child. When the greatest offering was laid upon the altar, it is said that the sound of the bells could be heard over the music of the choir.

In a small village miles from the city lived a boy named Pedro and his little brother. They knew very little about Christmas chimes but had heard of the service on Christmas Eve. They had a secret plan to go and see the beautiful celebration, hoping that if the Christ child came to bless the service that they would see him.

The day before Christmas was bitterly cold but sure enough Pedro and his little brother slipped quietly away to see the ceremony. They came upon a poor woman who had fallen in the snow and would soon freeze to death. The boys tried to rouse her to no avail. Pedro told his brother to go on to the ceremony and he would stay and help keep the woman alive and perhaps get her to eat something from his pocket.

The little brother hurried off alone to the city, with tears in his eyes for leaving his brother. The church was a wonderful sight, so bright and beautiful. At the close of the service came the procession of offerings to be laid at the altar. There were wonderful and rich gifts, even the king of the country laid down his golden crown. But no sound was heard from the bells and the people wondered if they ever really rang at all.

When the procession was over, the choir began the closing hymn when the organist stopped playing. Everyone turned to the minister who was holding up his hands for silence. As the people strained to listen the sound of the chimes from the tower came sweet and clear. All strained to look at the altar to see what marvelous gift had awakened the bells.

But all the nearest of the saw was the childish figure of little brother, who having crept softly down the aisle when no one was looking, had laid Pedro's little piece of silver on the altar.

The Lights on the Christmas Tree by Florence Page Jaques

Once the Christmas tree lights were not lights at all. They were the colors in the rainbow-- just an everyday rainbow-- the good kind you see in the sky after a rain! When Santa Claus made the very first Christmas tree, it was easy to see that he needed a rainbow for a decoration, because he had only white decorations.

He lived at the North Pole, you know, as he does now, and when he had powdered the tree with snow and hung icicles all over it and tied snowballs on the ends of the branches, he looked at it and said, "No, it's pretty, but it ought to have some color on it. It needs some red and green and blue and gold--"

"Oh Santa Claus," said the littlest White Bear, "let's put a rainbow on it!"

"That's just what it needs," Santa Claus agreed. "I'll send the Biggest White Bear to get one."

"Oh!" said the littlest White Bear. He was so disappointed that tears came to his eyes. "I was the one who thought of the rainbow. I thought you might let me find it!"

"All right then," Santa Claus said kindly. "But you must be VERY careful. Rainbows are easy to break you know, so you must take care not to drop it."

"Oh, I will be careful," promised the littlest bear, and he ran and ran on his fat little legs till he found the most beautiful rainbow. Then he picked it and hung it over his back and went home to Santa Claus, walking very carefully. He walked safely past the snowfields and safely past the icebergs and safely past the slippery slides, and at last he came to Santa Claus's steps. He saw Santa Claus in the doorway waiting.

"Hurrah!" The littlest white bear laughed, waving his little front paws in triumph. "Here it is! I found the biggest, best, most beautiful rainbow!"

And just then, both his back feet slipped and---BOOM!!! He fell on his back, and the rainbow was broken into a thousand pieces. "Don't cry, don't cry," said Santa hurrying down the steps. "You aren't hurt!"

"No, but the rainbow is," sobbed the littlest white bear, "and I tried so hard to be careful."

"Never you mind," Santa Claus patted him gently. "We'll put the pieces of the rainbow on the tree. After all, the colors are still just as pretty."

So they picked up a blue piece and put it here, and they picked up a red piece and put it there, and the Christmas tree was prettier than if the rainbow had been all together.

"Oh," said the littlest bear, "I'm glad I fell down!" And ever since than, we have had beautiful rainbow colored lights on the Christmas tree.

Snippets of stories

As I went searching through my collection of stories I realized that most of them were forever LONG - lol. I didn't want to type 20 pages of stories and knew you wouldn't want to read 20 pages. So, I am going to do "snippets" of the stories, just kind of tell you what they are about and you can than go read them if you are so inclined. =]

Areyou GRUMPY Santa? by Gregg & Evan Spiridellis (the JibJab guys!)

We all know Santa's jolly, but there's something else worth knowing. There are times when even Santa doesn't feel like HO-HO-HO-ing!

If you've never heard this story, you might be quite surprised. It's about a grumpy Santa who became un-GRUMP-ified.

One night while Santa slept, dreams of Christmas in his head, a giant SNORE from Mrs Claus blew him outta bed.

He rolled across the bedroom floor.... OOCHY! OUCHY! OH!.... then tripped over a bowling ball and stubbed his little toe!

He was tired and his toe hurt, but he hopped into the tub. "My big, round jelly belly sure could use a soapy scrub!"

But when he turned the shower know..... "AHHHHHH! THIS WATER'S FREEZING!" He jumped out of the bathtub, now sniffling and sneezing.

The elves defrosted Santa by the edge of a small fire, and tried to warm his favorite Santa suit inside the dryer.

But the dryer shrank his suit, so they made a little switch, and replaced it with a woolly one that made him scratch and itch!

At breakfast things got worse, "There must be some mistake! What happened to my waffles, pancakes, sausage, eggs and steak?"

"I want you on a diet, You're so handsome when your thin!" A grouchy Santa mumbled, "Today I just can't win."

Santa grabbed his gifts and headed out the door, but his fleet of flying reindeer weren't where they were before.

When he finally found them, he shouted out, "OH NO!" his reindeer had been buried hoof-to-antler in the snow!

The reindeer were still frozen: they flew out of control. They almost crashed the speeding sleigh into the striped North Pole!

"Hold Steady!" Santa yelled as he unfolded his map - then a giant gust of wind blew up and stole poor Santa's cap!

At the first house on his list, Santa had no change of luck. He jumped into the chimney, but his belly got him stuck!

He wiggled side to side, than gave a mighty push. He fell into the fireplace and sprained his chubby tush!

In Paris, he was chased by a tiny, growling poodle. In Italy, he slipped upon a rigatoni noodle.

He was nearly trampled by a bull in beautiful Pamplona. He bumped into a Christmas tree (cactus) in Phoenix, Arizona.

At the last house on his list, near the point of full despair, he tripped over a toy train, and flew up in the air!

He grabbed the chandelier, then heard the ceiling CRACK! Poor old Santa tumbled down and landed on his back.

"I'm tired! My toe hurts! I'm hungry, and I'm freezing! My wool suit is so itchy! I'm sniffly and sneezing! My head has got a bump! My tush is wrapped in gauze! I can't take this anymore.... I'm a GRUMPY SANTA CLAUSE!

Then suddenly he saw it, next to the Christmas tree. He walked over to inspect it, belly grumbling hungrily.

It was a card for Santa - painted on it was a wreath, and when he picked it up, he found some COOKIES underneath!

As he read the note inside, his heart did nearly pause, "We made you all these cookies 'cause we LOVE YOU Santa Claus."

Santa smiled and took a bite: the lesson was quite clear. When people do nice things for you the GRUMPIES, disappear!

Santa flew into the night, the winter moon aglow. He felt so good, he shouted out a hearty "HO-HO-HO!"

So remember, make them chocolate, silky smooth or extra lumpy.... just be sure to leave some cookies, in case Santa's feeling grumpy.

An Unexpected Lesson by Erin Wilson

After making a career move to New York City, I was out shopping one December evening for items for my new apartment. A storm had recently hit the city, and knee-deep snow lined the streets. I was bundled up in a warm coat as I made my way to the train with a bustling crowd of holiday shoppers.

I waited impatiently for the train to arrive, thinking about my shopping list. When the train finally arrived, I stepped onto the car, scanning the seats for a place to sit. The nearest seat was directly across from an old homeless man. He had no warm coat or heavy clothing. He just had some plastic bags filled with trinkets.

I did not want to sit near his offensive odor, and his rugged appearance made me wonder if he was dangerous. Mostly, I did not want to be hit up for cash. I abruptly walked to the other end of the car and took a seat. All the other passengers also filed to the end of the car, leaving the man alone.

Soon a young man boarded the train and settled down in the seat directly in front of the homeless man. Without hesitation, the young man extended a welcoming smile, a handshake, and a jolly hello. The man's face brightened, and they began a pleasant conversation. They talked for the next 15 minutes, enjoying each others company.

As I watched, I was reminded of the true spirit of the Christmas season. While deeply engaged in conversation, the young man stood up and removed his vest, shirt and a second long sleeved shirt he was wearing underneath. Standing in his undershirt, he then handed the long sleeve shirt to the homeless man. The old man accepted it graciously, and the two continued their conversation. I stepped off the train at the next stop, touched by the young man's kindness. I felt guilty for my selfishness, but I had a desire to be a better person.

The King of Kings came into the world in the most humble of circumstances, in a lowly stable. The world was given a precious, saving gift - the Son of God. I am grateful for the gift of the Savior in my life and for the reminder of His infinite love and compassion for God's children. That Christmas season, I felt a renewed desire to be kinder, more selfless, and more like my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Carols across the country by Heather Beauchamp

Music and singing have always been very important to my family. while I was growing up, my sister would play the piano while my five other siblings and I gathered around and sang our favorite Church songs. These times are among my fondest memories.

After graduating from high school, I lived near my family until I married a wonderful man who was stationed in our town with the US Air Force. A year and a half later, my husband and I, and our two-month-old daughter, were transferred to a base across the country. We had another child, and with all the expenses that come with two babies, we had not been able to return to visit our families. With six children still at home, my parents couldn't afford to visit us either. Living so far away from my family and missing my husband due to frequent military assignments, I was often subject to feelings of loneliness. Holidays were especially difficult.

On Christmas Eve 1996, while my husband and I were taking part in our traditional Christmas Ever activities with our two young children, my thoughts kept turning to my parents and siblings. I gazed at the clock and knew they would all be sitting down on a blanket laid carefully out on the floor; and eating a "Christmas Feast Picnic" of fruit, little sausages, cheese, and crackers while my father read the account of Christ's birth from the scriptures. In my mind I pictured their faces. Mine would be the only one missing.

As I pondered, I prayed for a way to feel more connected with the rest of my family. Suddenly, the phone rang, and I found myself speaking to my mother. She told me she had something for us to hear. I turned on the speaker phone and we listened as my three younger sisters gathered around the family piano and sang the most beautiful version of "Do you hear what I hear?". Tears filled our eyes as my husband and I listened to the three-part harmony coming from our phone. We could almost feel my family in the room with us.

Their simple song brought into our home that Christmas Eve, a sweet spirit I will always treasure. Of all the gifts we received that Christmas, many purchased from stores and carefully wrapped and labeled, it was that sweet song that was the most precious to us.

Sing a song of Christmas by Rebecca Talley

Ashlie watched Mrs Barnewald lean on her cane and walk slowly over to a padded rocking chair. Mrs Barnewald sat down. "I'm glad you came to visit me today Ashlie," she said. "You and your family are good neighbors."

"I like to come to your house," Ashlie looked at a photo that sat on the table next to the rocking chair.

"That's my family in front of our home in Germany. I was born in that house," Mrs Barnewald said.

"Is your family still in Germany?"

"Oh no, I'm the only one left. My husband, Hans, and I came to America many, many years ago. You know, we were never blessed with any children and when he passed away a few years ago, he left me all alone." Mrs Barnewald sounded sad.

Ashlie placed her hand on Mrs Barnewald's wrinkled hand. "Are you lonely?" she asked.

"Sometime, especially during the Christmas season." Mrs Barnewald took the photo in her hand and looked at it for a minute. "We used to have such fun at this time of year. When I was a little girl in Germany, we had many traditions, but now I'm too old for them." She turned to Ashlie, "I'm glad to have a friend like you. I feel like you are my family."

Ashlie grinned. She glanced over at the clock that hung on the wall. It was time for dinner. She got up and gave Mrs Barnewald a hug. "I better go home."

"Thank you so much for visiting me today."

"See you soon."

Ashlie kicked at the ground on her walk home. She opened the front door and heard her mom in the kitchen, so she walked in and sat at the table. Resting her head on her hands, she let out a big breath.

"How was your visit?" mom asked.

Ashlie shrugged her shoulders. "Mrs Barnewald is so lonely. I want to do something special for her this Christmas."

"That's a wonderful idea," mom said.

Ashlie went to her room and lay on the bed, trying to think of something wonderful to do. She thought and thought and thought. Christmas was only a few days away. Ashlie thought about what Mrs Barnewald had said about traditions. She rolled over on her stomach and saw the handout from Primary she's set on her desk. She had an idea.

Ashlie called her Primary teacher, Sister Jensen, because she often told the class about her mission to Germany. After she talked to Sister Jensen, Ashlie knew just what to do for Mrs Barnewald.

On Christmas Eve, Ashlie and her family went to Mrs Barnewald's house for a visit. They took her some Turkey, mashed potato's, stuffing, and freshly baked cookies. Ashlie turned down the lights in the living room and handed candles to each of her parents and to her sister. Softly, in German, they started singing "Silent Night" while Ashlie lit the candles.

Stille Nact, heilige Nacht, Alles schlaft, einsam wacht, Nur das traute, hochheilge Paar, Holder Knabe im lokkigen Haar, Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh, Schlaf in himmlischer Ruf!

Ashlie couldn't sing the last few words because of the lump in her throat. When they were finished, Mrs Barnewald had tears on her cheeks and Ashlie's chest felt warm and tingly. She couldn't take Mrs Barnewald back to Germany, but she could bring a little bit of Germany to Mrs Barnewald for Christmas.

The Christmas Spirit

Why is it that we let the world take us over and we forget how wonderful life is? I haven't watched "It's a wonderful life" in years but I can still recite most of the lines and the major plot of the show. What a powerful message that show brings to all of us. How simple it is to understand that the reason we are here on the earth is to let go of the "worldly" things and to hold onto the important.

As children our lives revolve around happiness, learning, and our families - all the important things in life. If we are brought up in loving homes with goodly parents, those things are constantly at our grasp. As we grow up, our world starts to extend beyond the walls of our family/home and there we start to crumble. As teenagers, and through the rest of our lives we strive to prove ourselves, to compete or compare ourselves to others, to find ourselves, and to constantly wonder why. The little stresses of life confound us at every turn, attachments if we are single, children if we are parents, work if we have jobs, deadlines for anything and everything, time and how quickly it flies.

Christ said to return to him, we must "become as little children". I have heard that phrase all my life in Sunday School lessons, songs in Primary, and Sacrament Meetings. Today it finally made sense. I don't need to "find" out who I am, I was born knowing and until the world stepped in, I was happy and content with who I was. I did all the things I loved: danced, sang, played, read, kissed and hugged and loved people unconditionally, forgave easily and with no strings attached. Harbored no grudges and felt pain when I hurt myself but than it felt better because someone cared and patched it up. As a teenager, it took me until my Senior year in HS to "find" myself and discover that I liked who I was and could stand on my own two feet no matter what the idiots around me thought. Senior year was the best year I ever had in HS - I did all the things I loved. I sang, danced, wrote, read, hung out with friends, made life lasting friends and got rid of the ones that didn't matter. Now as an adult, with my own children and friends starting to face these realities - it's finally hitting me - I KNOW who I am - but I let the world influence me and distract me, so I forget.

I'm still that child who loves to sing, to dance, to play and have fun, I still care and love unconditionally and my children have learned to still accept random hugs and kisses. =] I need to not let the world remove "my child" from me - but embrace it so that I don't forget the trust and faith that my Heavenly Father wants me to have. The feelings that the world feels once a year at Christmas time - when we all remember and return to being kids. The Spirit of Christ, the gift of love, and the only way we can return to him.

A boy learns a Lesson by Thomas S Monson

In about my tenth year, as Christmas approached, I longed for an electric train. The times were those of economic depression, yet Mother and Dad purchased for me a lovely electric train.

Christmas morning bright and early I thrilled when I noticed my train. The next few hours were devoted to operating the transformer and watching the engine pull its cars forward - then backward around the track.

Mother said that she had purchased a windup train for Widow Hansen's boy, Mark, who lived down the lane at Gale St. As I looked at his train, I noted a tanker car which I so much admired. I put up such a fuss that my mother succumbed to my pleadings and gave me the tanker car. I put it with my train set and felt pleased.

Mother and I took the remaining cars and the engine down to Mark Hansen. The young boy was a year or two older than I. He had never anticipated such a gift. He was thrilled beyond words. He wound the key in his engine, it not being electric nor expensive like mine, and was overjoyed as the engine and three cars, plus a caboose, went around the track.

I felt a horrible sense of guilt as I returned home. The tanker car no longer appealed to me. Suddenly, I took the tank car in my hand, plus an additional car of my own, and ran all the way down to Gale Street and proudly announced to Mark, "We forgot to bring two cars which belong to your train".

I don't know when a deed has made me feel any better than that experience as a ten year old boy.

Legend of the Skimpiest Tree by Bob Sweeney

It is said that three evergreens, powdered with snow, stood chatting one day as to where they would go. When the Christmas tree cutters arriving that day, would come and trim them and take them away.

Said the largest of all, "I'll be placed in a school, or a church or a big office building this Yule!" and he sang with delight, never heeding the freeze of December winds puffing a mid-winter breeze.

Said the middle-sized tree, "I am destined to be in an elegant home where they're certain to see, that I'm tinseled and lighted and topped with a Star! and he smiled as he thought of a new home afar.

Now the skimpiest tree was so stunted and slight, that he moaned in dismay as he peered at the height, of his friends who were lost in their glittering dreams, and he wept for he knew he could plan no such schemes.

Well, the cutters arrived and the axes rand out, and the trees went their way, and I have little doubt; that the big tree was chosen for public display and the middle tree saved for some gala array.

But the skimpiest tree, small and stunted, tis said was sent to a small skimpy home near a bed - and there given a challenge it dared not to fail, for the bed held a lad who was sickly and pale.

It is told that the boy became healthy and strong, that the small skimpy house fairly echoed with song. As doctors proclaimed it a miracle case, as they looked at the little lads rosy-cheeked face.

But two knew the secret that neither would tell - how the tree had arrived and the boy had grown well. Yes, God knew it too, so that really makes three, with the small skimpy boy and his small skimpy tree!

The Little Loaf

Once, when there was a famine, a rich baker sent for twenty of the poorest children in the town and said to them, "In this basket there is a loaf for each of you. Take it, and come back to me every day till God sends us better times".

The hungry children gathered eagerly about the basket and quarreled for the bread, because each wished to have the largest loaf. At last they went away without even thanking the good man.

But Gretchen, a poorly dressed little girl, did not quarrel or struggle with the rest, but remained standing modestly a pace away. When the ill- behaved girls had left, she took the smallest loaf, which alone was left in the basket, kissed the man's hand, and went home.

The next day the children were as ill behaved as before, and poor, timid Gretchen received a loaf scarcely half the size of the one she got the first day. When she came home, and her mother cut the loaf open, many new, shining piece of silver fell out of it.

The mother was very much alarmed and said, "Take the money back to the good man at once. It must have got into the dough by accident. Go quickly Gretchen, go quickly!"

But when the little girl gave the rich man her mother's message, he said, "No, no my child, it was no mistake. I had the silver pieces put into the smallest loaf to reward you. Always be contented, peaceable, and as grateful as you are now. Go home now and tell your mother that the money is your own."

No Hands But Our Hands

Shortly after the culmination of the Second World War, a devastated city in England began its heartbreaking and weary work of restoration. In the old city square had stood a large statue of Jesus Christ with his hands outspread in an attitude of invitation. On the pedestal were carved the words, "Come unto me".

In the process of restoration of the statue, with the aid of master artists and sculptors, the figure eventually was reassembled, except for the hands, of which no fragments could be discovered anywhere in the surrounding rubble. Someone made the suggestion that the artists, since the former hands could not be found, would have to fashion new hands.

Later came a public protest, couched in the words, "No, leave Him without hands!". So today, in the public square of that English city, the restored statue of Christ stands without hands and at the base are carved the words, "Christ has no hands but ours!".

At this Christmas time, let's think of something we can do.

A Brother Like That

A friend of mine named Paul received a new car from his brother as a pre-Christmas present. On Christmas Eve, when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.

"Is this your car Mister?" he asked.

Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas."

The boy looked astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you, and it didn't cost you anything? Gosh, I wish...."

He hesitated, and Paul knew what he was going to wish. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.

"I wish" the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that."

Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, than impulsively asked, "Would you like a ride in my new car?"

"Oh yes, I'd love that!"

After a short ride the urchin turned and with his eyes aglow said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"

Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again.

"Will you stop right where those steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while, Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little polio-crippled brother. He sat down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up right against him and pointed to the car.

"There she is Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas, and it didn't cost him a cent, and someday I'm gonna give you one just like it. Than you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that I've been trying to tell you about."

Paul got out and lifted the little lad into the front seat of his car. The shiny-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride.

That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when He said, "It is more blessed to Give...."

Merry Christmas, Big Hungry Bear by Don and Audrey Wood

Hello, little Mouse, I see you're ready for Christmas.
My goodness! What a lot of presents. Are they all for you?
But, little mouse, what about the big, hungry Bear in the cold, dark cave at the top of the hill?
Ohhh, how that Bear loves Christmas presents!
Red ones, green ones, little ones, big ones. . . .
that Bear would do ANYTHING to get some presents.
But he never does. Not even from Santa Claus.
BOO HOO HOO. Every Christmas he sits alone in his cold, dark cave, and PLOP PLOP PLOP tears fall from his big, hungry eyes.
Little Mouse, what are you doing?
Oh, I see. What a brave little Mouse you are.
No one else in the whole wide world would go to the cold, dark cave of the big, hungry bear. . . .
especially on Christmas Eve.
Shhhh little Mouse, Someone big is fast asleep. . . . .
Quick Little Mouse, Someone big is waking up . . . .
HIDE LITTLE MOUSE! SOMEONE BIG IS PEEKING!!
Come out, come out little Mouse. I see something big . . .
for you! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
FROM THE BIG, HUNGRY BEAR!