Be warned.....

Yep it's midnight again and here I am. Sure wish my brain would turn on in DAYLIGHT instead of midnight, oh wells. Be warned, cuz this is another "thinking" blog post. =] I was thinking about many things: my lesson coming up, relationships (hmm that deals with my lesson), the world today, blah blah blah. Also, had a really good conversation with a dear friend on IM. I came upon a word... so I decided to blog it.

Word for the day: ASSUMPTION: Something taken to be true without proof; presumptions or arrogance. WOW, I can I tell you that reading that definition really hit me? I never considered myself being ARROGANT when I assumed something, I actually figured myself naive. However, thinking about it, it's right. When you "assume" something you are arrogantly taking upon yourself what you "think" to be true, whether it is or not. WOW. Scary.

So before I came down to blog, I wrote my "journal" ha, I use it as a notebook, about things that "I" assume. Again, I am "assuming" that some of you may also have these idea's so I'm going to title it....

Assumptions or Beliefs?

When you say you love me........ I assume you mean it.

When you say that my family matters to you........ I assume they do and you won't
turn your back.
When we fight and you tell me not to turn away.......I assume that means that you
won't turn from me either.
When you are silent and not forthcoming........I assume I am in the wrong and wonder
why?
When you share your world with me..........I assume you want to be a part of mine.

When I am blessed with a sacred gift.........I assume the Lord wants me to nurture
it and watch it grow.
When you make promises........I assume your going to keep them, no matter what.

When I read too much into things............I assume I can no longer trust my own
deductions.
When you tell me I'm your friend........I assume all the responsibilities that go
with that and assume that you're doing
the same.
Hmm, When I go to bed...............I assume I will SLEEP!

Is it really WRONG to assume? are we arrogant or just too TRUSTING?

Tic.. Tac... TOES!

So you've prolly seen Reba's blog and seen this pic already =]; however, this one was my idea so I had to post it on mine! Yes we missed Denise; hopefully, her schedule will start becoming such that it works with the lunch ones or when Dany is around to help out with her kids. This lunch we sat at Wingers in Kaysville and looked at old family photo's that Mimi couldn't identify. We had a very patient, great waitress and she got her well deserved tip for letting us hang out.

Some of you may know this from personal experience with your mom's (if your last name isn't Terry that is >] )or from hanging out with some of your aunt's. Cherisa's first New Year's Eve with my family (which used to include Grandma and Reba) she got to witness it first hand - I'm really glad she did since she didn't grow up around Grandma. Dean's first experience was same - New Year's Eve after we were first married and in Nephi hanging out with Mom for the holidays. What is it? When we are TIRED and something strikes us funny, we laugh. I'm not saying giggle giggle or ha ha - I mean, tears pouring down your cheeks, can't breathe, weird noise making laughs! The problem is, ALL of the girls inherited this from Grandma! and even worse - it's CONTAGIOUS!! Once one of us starts, the others will follow. So, on that New Year's Eve with Cherisa, playing a game, I started, than Grandma, than Reba. Those watching can't help but laugh at us so it's a great time but it's VERY HARD TO STOP!! And usually once you do - you restart - vicious cycle - LOL!

So, if you read Reba's blog you know that one of those "giggle fits" happened at Wingers. Susan was retelling an email I sent (the night before when I sent it I did the same thing!) and she and I both started laughing! NOTE: Susan nor I get a whole lot of SLEEP AND Susan and I both have reactive asthma. So, we REALLY couldn't breathe once we started! To make matters funnier, the table across from us was filled with paramedics and firemen who kept glancing over. We were sure they were wondering if they needed to go get the oxygen! The toe pic was taken BY the Ambulance and again we ALL started giggling at Adult Women in a resturaunt parking lot taking off our shoes and taking pictures of TOES! When the paramedics came out we quickly dispersed afraid that they really WOULD get the oxygen out (since I was coughing and gasping - you know =P). Isn't it nice that you don't REALLY have to grow up? just older?

Dispensable vs. Loved

Isn't it nice to know, that where ere you go, you can just as soon be forgot? That no matter the toll or how high the pole, your just another soup in the pot. Put your hand in and give it a spin, doesn't matter cold or hot. When your hand comes out, no matter the spout, there's no hole to fill in your spot.

Yeah, ever have one of those days? My version of the poem, "No Indispensable Man" that my dad used to quote often. Of course, it is more eloquent but I don't have it memorized and felt mine also got the point across. =] There are times in your life that you WANT to be indispensable to SOMEONE atleast. Hopefully you've found that someone in your spouse, your parents, and your older children. There is no doubt that you would leave a hole in their lives if you were gone, one that no other could fill until you saw each other again in the eternities. That's the wonder and grace of the Plan of Salvation. That NEED we all have to be loved, cherished, and important to someone OTHER than ourselves. We may feel out of place in many different places in our lives but I really cling to the "maybe untrue" email that goes around.... (I don't know all of it) but something about: Someone out there loves you more than life itself, Someone out there thinks of you each night before they go to sleep, Someone out there would give their life for yours, Someone you don't even know cares about you, etc, etc. I can't remember it all but compared to being "dispensable" I'll take being "thought of" and "cared about" any day and hope for myself that it's not just a pretty saying - because I know for those I care about - it's definately true.

Give someone you love a HUG, they deserve it.

Shocker!

Lol, I finished my lesson with 20 minutes to SPARE today! My class just kind of looked at me like, umm, we're done?!?! Yeah, I normally go over or have to ask for the time. Maybe I'm finally settling into my calling and becoming comfortable with teaching it or maybe it was just a short lesson. Ya think? Lol.

With UEA (Fall Break) through most of this week, I think I've caught up a little on my sleep. Nice to not be woken up 3 times in the morning and actually sleep undisturbed. We traded Olivia for her cousin David on Thursday, so it's been a Testosterone house and one lonely only lady. Ha -actually they've all gotten along great and for the most part its been peaceful. Olivia stayed at David's house with her cousin Mya (picture above) a year apart, Livie is older- but literally 2 peas in a pod. Sharon (Mya's mom) needs to still recoup after their car accident so it was Livie's job to keep Mya occupied, I'm sure that wasn't a problem and I HOPE Sharon got some rest.

I've been asked a few times why the post on affection - *e shrugs, I felt like it?>?> Honestly, I had said my prayers and was TRYING (pfft) to sleep when a thought kept coming to my mind. I knew I WOULDN'T sleep if I didn't do something about it. So, I came downstairs, sent off an email to a friend and typed the post in here. I cried a bit, the spirit felt so strong and than I felt immensly better - so I went back to bed. =] That about sums it up - no alterior motive.

With Halloween fast approaching, I can't wait to see everyone's costumes! How much fun!!! Olivia has decided on Jesse the cowgirl from ToyStory 2 and Ben is still flip flopping. Anthony at 14 has been banned by his dad from going - lol - so he's going to go over to someone's house and help put on a version of Thriller - I hope they tape it! =] Have a great week - our next big adventure comes in November as Benjamin is Ordained to the Priesthood. Wow - they grow up SO dang fast!

Affection....

I've been thinking about this the past few days so decided it must need to be written down. What is it about "affection" that scares us? I want you to honestly think about it. Does it really have to do with the person offering and feeling the affection or does it have to do with us - our insecurities, our faults, and our self incrimination?

In a world that is so unsteady right now and such a mess; now is the time that we NEED affection. We Need to give it and receive it; we need to be there for each other; friend, neighbor, stranger, and family. In a world filled with sorrow and sin, I think it's time to let go of the pride and let others in.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BranD =]

Wow the big 17! Most of you have heard me mention Brandon (Smats) and today is his birthday. If you've read any of the "single thoughts" here on my blog, most of them are right out of Brandon's mouth. =] Smart kid for being so young and could teach quite a few people about how to be a friend - he's teaching me. Yep, he's one that I've "adopted" into our family - since he fits right in with the bdays and if he was 2 months early - he could actually be mine - LOL - he's just a little TOO tall.

As with anyone else in my life I had to give the people I have affection for "nicknames". I have Isha, Boo, Isa, Deano, Bug, Ivie, Beck, Kim, Bobs and BranD(pronounced Brandy). LOL yes I tried to spell it correctly and got in trouble because that's a girls name - he wouldn't accept that it's an expensive beverage - LOL.

I met "Smats" (I won't list all the alts - he has a TON) on YPP Hunter ocean August 2007. We were in the same flag, different crews but in officer training together. I couldn't actually tell you how we became friends but I can tell you that I'm glad we did. We have had many educational, interesting- late night chats, many fun and wealthy pillages and even though we don't play on YPP much right now, we have a great crew and flag together now also.

I'd love to put a pic up but he won't let me - stinker - so you only get Gris and Smats. When you count your blessings and say your prayers, be thankful for your friends - old and young. Chance meetings sometimes produce some of your best friends. Thanks Bran - Have a great Birthday!

Poetry

Poems have always been a part of my life. Every Monday night at Family Home Evening, my father would have each child recite a poem before the lesson. In younger years - that took awhile! He he. So it is no wonder that like singing, I write poetry. The last time I can really remember sitting down before now and writing it was when Anthony was a baby. I had feelings about being a new mother and needed a way to express it.

Grandma used to say that I had to be careful what I wrote, I often times show too much emotion. But nonetheless, she loved to read my poems and would say that when I really had something to express they were beautiful. Another secret no one knows? Like my beautiful niece Lisa Mckeown, I have had a poem published in a book. However, you would have to search LONG and HARD to find it as I was about 17. Ha ha.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, than I believe that the pen is the window to the heart. People express themselves in many different ways with pen - pictures, journals, stories, scrapbooks, and poetry. It isn't always about a real life situation; it can sometimes be about a fear, a fantasy, or dealing with the world around them. I'm grateful to a father who instilled in me a love of poetry and all that is good and beautiful in the world. Teenage years were horrid in my eyes for me and therefore they are filled with page upon page of poetry and journal entries. As I look at the world around me; the stress, anxiety, and turmoil around us - I am truely blessed with a way to express myself and bring peace back to an aching heart and a searching soul.

Big Day for "Ivie....

Thanks to all the friends and family who were able to come and support Olivia at her Baptism and Confirmation. It was nice to have about 37 people there. We chose 2 sisters from our ward to give the talks, Sister Madill - our neighbor of 10 yrs and my visiting teacher and Sister Thornley - a friend and my visiting teaching companion. They were both very shocked to get phone calls but pleased that Olivia would think of them. We are very grateful that they would give their time to come and support her.

She was very excited to see her best friend and her mom show up! The mom found out yesterday so with new baby in tow - it was very cool to see them. Aunt Mimi, Uncle Bruce and their family, Aunt Reba, Cousins Terry and William, Aunt Sharon, Uncle Darren and their family, Cousin Mandy with her new husband Jason, Cousin Amber, Grandma and Grandpa Zenger from Oregon and the Primary President rounded out the group.

Here is the 2nd of her 3 "White Dresses" . It was a beautiful afternoon - even though it rained/snowed outside, lol - and I think it's a day Olivia will remember always.

I must be in a mood.....

cuz I haven't written this many poems since I was in HS! However, some are to be used in my book so maybe that's the reason.

YOU

My thoughts are in a jumble,
trying to explain
A relationship of emotions,
smiles, laughter and pain.

I've known age doesn't matter,
friends are every shape and size.
It's the understanding and aceptance
that makes the friend a prize.

When hardships and life assail us,
we know where a hand can be found.
To help us back to our feet again,
not a word, not even a sound.

Days do lapse and hours tick by
as space and time prevail.
Yet I know my friend's on the other end,
we're tied with a bond that won't fail.

It could be days, it could be weeks
before we speak with each other,
yet twill be the same, I know it's true,
for a link like ours you can't sever.

kz 10/08

General Conference

It has been a very rewarding 2 days listening to the brethern of the church enlighten us and counsel us. Granted that I missed part of the Saturday morning session as I was zonked. I have always loved the fact that some of the best talks are given at Saturday sessions.

Some items that have remained with me are: Reverence at Sabbath Meetings, Showing Love for All, Virtue is not Weakness, and that we are all Teachers.

Thoughts have run through my head of friends, neighbors, current ward meetings, and my life in general. Isn't that what conference is about? Inspiring us to uplift and aspire to better things not only in ourselves but those around us? After all, none of us can make it to heaven alone.

The item that keeps coming to me is a new title for my book or additional title. It was titled: Learning to Love Myself; a tale of two friends; after this conference, it is now entitled: "Learning to Love Myself; So Simple, It's Hard". The talk at General Women's Conference that I read this morning, by President Uchtdorf has stayed with me the most and all the others have added upon it to make it very meaningful. I am a Daughter of God and no matter what the world brings or holds or throws at me; this knowledge and my divine role as mother, wife, sister, friend, and daughter cannot be taken from me.

IT'S FALL!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'm a little excited, told you my favorite season is fall =]. My temperature is about 75 degrees and I'm happy. Love the rain and how it makes my non-exsistent lawn look green =].

Well, it's October which means Halloween, stupid gorey movies on TV - why do they think that gore is scary? It's just gorey and disgusting - ugh. My great room upstairs still isn't completed so I have NO WHERE to put any decorations - whimper whine - so I guess that's a motivation to finish. =D.

My hubby might not be thrilled with this idea >] but I am going to let yet another side show on the memories panel. The ghost related side. I figure since it's Halloween - why not? Now here are the disclaimers before I start next week: 1 - Yes, all stories posted are TRUE and did happen. 2 - The problem no longer exsists so there is no reason for current Nephi residents to be freaked. and 3- I don't look at "Ghost Stories" as that or as scary. Yeah, sometimes the hair raises on my neck or arms but I take that to be a confirmation. Only the evil spirits roaming here under Satan's control can we let harm us and I have faith enough - through experience mind you - that those righteous spirits that surround me won't let that happen. =]

Hmm, I guess this month let's out the impish side of me also - heh heh heh. FUN!

It's FALL! Let's Celebrate ! Wahoo!

Let's hear it for OPERA!!!!!! WAHOO!

Okay, the final show for summer ended tonight. I must say I was happy but rather shocked. I figured it would be between Queen Emily and Neal Boyd but it wasn't! Queen Emily got kicked out first! =0 very shocked. Than my man Donald =( , than Nuttin but Strings =[, and that left the 1 person out of the 5 I didn't like -ha ha of course! - and Neal. As I said at the beginning - NEAL WON!!! WAHOO!!

Alright, I know there aren't ALOT of Opera fans out there but there is obviously enough that can recognize an amazing Tenor voice, as I said before, like Pavarotti's. I mentioned in my last blog that I am very picky about singers, so now I want to explain why. My father LOVED Opera. He had Jeannette McDonald and Nelson Eddy movies and albums, Mario Lanza albums, Pavarotti Albums and the 3 tenors. So, can you guess that I grew up listening to it? Yeah. Well, you know little kids, they love to mimic what they hear, etc etc - so yep, I grew up singing it! Ha ha. Than at age 16 my parents put me in voice lessons. I had been singing Alto in the school Select Choir for years and my teacher told me no. I try not to brag but I can't do it anymore so it's more of a memory =]. Through voice lessons I could hit 2 octaves up to a C and 1 octave down to a C. I could sing all 4 parts - pretty cool - I LOVED singing base. Back to the story, my voice teacher also decided that I had the perfect voice for.................. yep, OPERA. So, as my father used to say, if you don't do it you can't complain about it. =]. So, I'm a little picky, okay, a LOT picky. If you want to hear REALLY good tenor's, try and google Mario Lanza or Pavarotti - if you'd like to listen to someone ALIVE... try Andrea Boccelli. Ah, to melt at a man's voice. hmmm =]. A beautiful soprano is Charlotte Church.


Well, so now you know on of my secrets, I sing Opera. Nope not ashamed of it, I just don't sing anymore, except around the house =] my dog likes it. lol. Also, another love of Opera must come from my name Kathleen Patrice. My father named me for his favorite song "I'll walk you home again Kathleen" AND his favorite Irish Opera Singer Patrice. I guess I was just fated. Ha ha. I will admit there are some really, really boring Opera's out there but if you want to see two really good ones with incredible music - lol BESIDES PHANTOM (must see! must see!), check out La Triviata (sp?) or Barber of Seville. Once you have seen the opera and can understand what is going on, listening to the aria's is wonderful.

America's Got Talent

So we aren't really fans of reality shows. Never could watch Survivor, have only watched like one episode of The Great Race and can't stand American Idol. I admit to watching a couple of episodes of So You Think You Can Dance but that's because a sister told me about some celebrity on there. I guess we feel like we have enough Reality in our own lives, TV is supposed to be an escape not a DRAMA into someone elses.

Than one day Dean happened on what he thought was like a mix of an old Variety Show and the Gong Show: America's Got Talent. He and the KIDS are addicted! However, I will admit that it is on Wednesday nights so they DVR it and skip through the acts they don't like and all the commercials. Lol, the ONLY way they watch it.

I blog about this, idk why, but they have 3 really amazing singers in the top 5 right now. One I believe would be perfect for Broadway (he would be a great Phantom), one is the next Pavarotti (yum! and I don't give that compliment lightly), and the other I believe will win. They are ALL three amazing (wahoo Joseph another Awesome!) so in case you don't watch, I wanted to share them with you. There are 2 brothers who also play the violin that I've never watched but caught while Youtubing the others =D so they are here too.

Nuttin but Strings


Donald Braswell - (Broadway)


Neal E Boyd (Pavarotti)


Queen Emily