So today is May 8th. Some years it takes me well into the day to remember what day it is, other years I remember around the exact time what was happening six years ago. I suppose it will always be this way since you can never be sure when or how memories will affect you.
I actually thought I did really well today - sentiment wise. I didn't dwell on it, I did my work, ran my errands, got my brain fried by children and my nerves rattled. So what exactly does that mean, it means that whether i consciously thought about today or not - I knew what it was, it was constantly present in the back of my mind and now I am feeling the emotions.
Strangely enough, I do miss my mom - enormously. However, that is not the feelings that I am having. My feelings at the moment are of being overwhelmed, anxious, unhappy, and disappointed. I could take the easy way out and simply say it is my new herbal remedies that are trying to flush out my candidia. I would rather admit though, rather than place the blame on something besides myself, that I am very possibly suffering from the candidia side effects - one of them being depression. Add that to my memories of today and yep, I think that explains enough.
Went to an Eagle Court of Honor tonight. Very nicely done, was for Max, Anthony's friend and scout companion since 3rd grade. Anthony's will be held on June 2nd - they wanted to do them together but we felt it was more appropriate that each boy get his own time and recognition. Plus, Dean's mom has just been down for Women's conference and they are coming down at the end of the month for his graduation. Yep, there are some things it would really be nice to still have my parents around for. I hope that they are watching and participating in the proceedings at the end of the month and that Anthony can feel their spirit.
Sighs. Hard to blog when you feel this way; however, it seems to be hard for me to blog anyway. =P
One of my nieces brought me up some JD Robb books (Nora Roberts). I find it interesting and will just say - what is the use of writing under a psuedo author if your REAL name is going to be plastered above it?!? I mean really? Geesh. The books however; are very fun. It's a detective series following the life and career of one Lt. Eve Dallas and her husband Roarke. Yes I will agree with most that told me he is a hot babe and don't we all wish our husbands were that in tune with us? Yep, gotta be fiction, but it tells well. My #60 finally came up with the most recent Johansen book "What does kill you" about Catherine Ling and I hate to say it but ... I'm bored. I know right?!?! I have been waiting for this book for MONTHS and I am finding it lacks what I was wanting. I will skim through the remainder of the book and turn it in early and #61 will be ecstatic. I checked out some other books by some random authors to see if I can find another author to scour books for... I'll let you know.
Thank goodness, it's almost 10 pm. I can almost call this day officially over. Paix
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