Those that know me, being relatives or online acquaintances, know that my son left in January to enter the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT and than flew into New York Utica, on Feb 12th. He is currently serving in Syracuse South, New York.
Blessings are interesting things. They aren't always what you would recognize as a blessing. I'm still trying to figure out a couple of them and how they could be. I know it just a "mormon" thing to think that when you are in the service of the Lord Jesus Christ that you are blessed. Scripture is full of examples and I think people like to focus on only the good that they read and don't notice the other parts about how you will be tried MORE for following and doing what you should. I would gladly settle for a happy medium in this instance.
I'm not a sugar coater, if you are reading my blog for the first time you find that I am very direct about what goes on. Life is not sugar coated for the majority of us; for those that it is - hmm, can I have some of what you're on?!? 'Cuz they really haven't found the pill to give me that makes it a "happy pill". I don't think they ever really can; I believe that recovery and happiness relies on medication, action, and therapy. They are in process of re-adjusting my NEW medication and I haven't been able to afford my reflexology therapy in months. Anyway, I digress and am swerving off subject.
I've noticed that blessings from service are sort of like backwards compliments. You're still allowed to be tried; however, something happens in the middle that makes it less of a trial and therefore it has become a blessing. For example: did taxes in the middle of last month. Our income ran short last year and we did not make our typical 10% donations as we would. That amount has saved us every year when it came to taxes and increased our amount that we received back - State and Federal. Unfortunately, because we did not have the money to make our charitable donations, we did not get any money back or nowhere near the money back that we normally would from taxes - like less than 1/4 compared to usual. For the last 2 yrs now we have owed the State money - this year at the beginning we thought we would owe 4x the amount that we were getting back from Federal. Yep, I lost it - how do you find a blessing in that?!?! Well, I found a mistake, fixed it, had my CPA girlfriend come and check it and she found another one. We ended up getting 2/3 more back in Federal than we owed to the State - now THERE is the blessing. I would rather my blessing be something like, I'm getting fabulous returns from both State and Federal and I could pay off a bill with it or at least go somewhere for my anniversary - yeah this blessing we haven't seen in about 3 yrs. hence, I will take getting back more in Federal and being able to PAY the State with it.
I also heard - where are those buzzing little bee's with all this information, so I can SQUISH them!- that when your child leaves on a mission for the church, that they than start to appreciate you. Hmm, yep, still waiting for that to show itself. He seemed to appreciate me more while he was home - before he left. Now all I get are letters discussing how much he misses his girlfriend, how he can't think about the things I've done or mentioned in my letters because that is not where his focus needs to be and he doesn't want the spirit to leave. Seriously?!?! *head bang* I'm trying to do what the Bishop told me and support my son, support him as only his mother can - yeah well, doesn't seem like he wants it. Honestly, this part is worse to me than having trials where blessings are supposed to be. =[ ... It's about rating up there for when he was 10 yrs old and used to tell me on Mother's Day that he was someone else's child. *face palm*
Pretty much, my blogged is aptly named, my world isn't perfect but it's blessed. We still have a roof over our heads, food on the table to eat, jobs, and loving people to help pay the support for my son's mission each month. Paix
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