Early Sunday Morning

The house is quiet at 1:47 am...there are times I like this. Peace and tranquility, settling down to hopefully go to bed soon.

So many arguments and contention in my home between the kids. I know somewhere I said I could handle this but enough is enough! One day, just one day without arguements or squabbles or accidental happens would be such a marvelous day. Haven't seen one of those seriously since the first time we went to Disneyland. The kids didn't argue, they agreed on rides, they took turns - It was HEAVEN...yes it made that the happiest place on earth for me that time. However, the next time, they were back to being pills. Grrr.

So next year is our 20th wedding anniversary. I decided it needs to be something big since everyone in my neighborhood and other friends are all getting divorced. So, I figure these days, 20 is the new 50 yr congratulations mark! My parents were married 49 yrs before my dad died - they would have made it to 50 and beyond and I guess they still are considering we believe that they are still married after death and together. That would make them having been married 60 yrs in November. =] Dean's parents 50th wedding anniversary party is in Oregon at the end of this month. We will be traveling up to have a family party to celebrate with them. I can't wait to see Dean's grandma - Eledice. I've missed her and have been thinking about her quite a lot lately. I'm really hoping that she is doing well and has no intention of leaving anytime soon since I'm supposed to sing at her wedding and these days my asthma makes me sing like a frog >.>.

Reba, Amy and Emily's birthday's were all on the 10th- Happy Birthday Ladies, I love you ♥. HS friends bdays, Shane, Shawn and AnnMarie all on the 3rd, Angela on the 30th. Mimi & Bruce's anniversary was the 2nd, James and Judy's the 3rd, Wes and Emily now the 5th. However, we still have Sarah whose bday was the 12th ♥ happy happy lady! Cherisa's on the 20th, Susan's on the 22nd, Heather's on the 28th, = Dean's was the 2nd and mine is the 26th. I'm sure I've missed some others - no wonder my mom wanted May to dissentegrate. :) This year on my birthday, I'm taking my personal perference leave and heading back to Nephi. AHHHH - they're taking me back to Nephi on my 40th birthday! How cruel. lol. I only ever had 2 teachers that made a huge impact on my life and anything that deals with them, I will show up to. First was Mr. G - President Greenhalgh/Mr Greenhalgh which ever you wanted to call him. He was my science teacher from 7th grade through 11th when he retired. I was his TA in both sophmore and junior years. Such a wonderful man - even after he retired he still would seek me out in church to make sure that my preparations for my sterling scholar were on track and would give me idea's. He was a friend of my parents and made it to my dad's funeral - I was the first he sought out- I love that man. The 2nd was my history teacher from 10th-12th grade. Not only was she the history teacher, she was the academic decathalon advisor, the cross country trip guardian and the general. She drove a harley to school when weather permitted, she is built like a german lady, short grey hair, great smile and you LEARNED when you were in her class - and it wasn't boring. She took some getting used to but I will never forget this woman and what she has taught me, Loreta Whicker. I figure while I'm in Nephi - I'm arranging for carpool just in case - that I would see about calling on some parents of friends I haven't seen in over 18 yrs - spend some time with other friends that show up at the reception for Ms Whicker and maybe go to lunch with a nephew and niece -or brother if he deems himself to be around =P.

So, I've been using Pat's back up wand for the past 2 weeks now. I feel guilty having it but she insists and since she has another for herself, I have agreed. The only thing I can figure is that it works like magnets - it manipulates or puts back into harmony, your energy field over the area needed. My chest hasn't ever gotten better since my last sinus infection - the wand has helped draw more of that out so I was able to go to the dr a couple of days ago and get a short term steriod that IS helping clear all the final crap out of my lungs. Actually, I think its helping my sinuses too - WOW, 2 for 1, who can complain! =] I've also started eating Quinoa (keen-wa)..its a Peruvian grain I guess you'd call it. It's about the size of a seed, has a nutty, seedy flavor. However, it is easily digestable, no gluten, no wheat and you can add it to food, eat it plain, or replace it with your pillaf or such. My zoner has discovered that for the past 1 1/2 yrs that my energy level is running at 30%. Not much energy to do anything and if I did, I was drained and out of it for the remainder of the day. Something is sapping about 40% of my energy but I can't afford my herbs that will help that yet - so I'm eating the Quinoa. Just a couple of tablespoons a day and I have ENERGY! I don't like the taste but I LOVE the side effect and will therefore continue to choke it down for the rest of my days. =P This dr I saw other night also prescribed for me a different sleeping pill. It worked the first night, last night it did shut my brain off, but not my body >.< so I slept ONCE I got to sleep...bah. I will continue to try it, and I am yawning - yes! Hopefully that means within the next 15 min. 2:30 am is TONS better the 4:30 or 8:30.

Mother's Day

Today was nice and quiet but I've been soooo tired, wish I felt better. Dean bought me an arrangement of different colored roses yesterday and we went to dinner at MacCool's. An Irish Public House in Utah flavor - lol so not as riotous or filled with smoke. The kids loved it, their first time there. I received cards from the kids and a card and book I'd requested from Dean. =] "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman" by Pres Uchtdorf.

Anthony and I watched some Welcome Back, Kotter episodes ;)...Dean and the kids watched some Fraggle Rock and Peanuts episodes while I napped. Turkey breast sandwiches and Cheesecake for dinner =] yummmm oh and of course Diet Coke. ;) The boys leave for scouting Jamorall this weekend up at Golden Spike Fairgrounds overnight and Olivia has her first "non-cousin" friend sleepover for a birthday party. =0 YES, Dean and I have Friday evening to ourselves! =0 lol, hopefully I will have work done and be feeling better so that we can do something fun =D.

I love the show Undercover Boss. I thinks its great that either things change for the better or the boss figures out what a complete jerk they are - either way, its great for the minions to finally be heard and seen. Lol, speaking as a minion for many, many years. ;) However, one of the things that the boss said today hit me. I hadn't thought of it that way and I need to remember it. Dan McCann (I think), COO/President of 1-800-Flowers - his father died after a 3rd surgery for cancer. He said that he had talked to his dad before the 3rd operation and his dad didn't want to do it - but instead of looking back and saying he is responsible for his father's death because he talked him into the surgery, he looks back with pride saying that his father fought to the end and never gave up.

That is one of the "guilts" I have carried for 4 yrs. My mom didn't want to have another back surgery but she was in constant pain, grouchy because of it, and uncomfortable no matter what she did. My kids didn't remember grandma happy or laughing - it broke my heart, both for them and for her. She would say that she wasn't ready to go, she wanted to be around for her grandkids - but I had to remind her, what good was she when she wasn't doing what she wanted with her grandkids and was always grumpy with them. Yeah, I hope I didn't sound that harsh but those were roughly my comments. She was trying to decide whether or not to have surgery - I put in my two cents. I know its egotistical to think that my "say" had anything to do with her decision - she was a full grown woman of 72 with 8 kids, 35 grandkids, and 13 great grandchildren - I don't think just "one" voice was heard. However, after someone is gone - you can't but help think back on things you said, didn't say or didn't do. From now on I will do my best to think instead that my mom fought with her all to still be here for me and my kids - she didn't give up on trying to become again the grandma that she wanted to be or them to see. I will add this to my list of positive memories and try to make her proud of me by being the mom she raised me to be. ♥

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