Today was nice and quiet but I've been soooo tired, wish I felt better. Dean bought me an arrangement of different colored roses yesterday and we went to dinner at MacCool's. An Irish Public House in Utah flavor - lol so not as riotous or filled with smoke. The kids loved it, their first time there. I received cards from the kids and a card and book I'd requested from Dean. =] "The Remarkable Soul of a Woman" by Pres Uchtdorf.
Anthony and I watched some Welcome Back, Kotter episodes ;)...Dean and the kids watched some Fraggle Rock and Peanuts episodes while I napped. Turkey breast sandwiches and Cheesecake for dinner =] yummmm oh and of course Diet Coke. ;) The boys leave for scouting Jamorall this weekend up at Golden Spike Fairgrounds overnight and Olivia has her first "non-cousin" friend sleepover for a birthday party. =0 YES, Dean and I have Friday evening to ourselves! =0 lol, hopefully I will have work done and be feeling better so that we can do something fun =D.
I love the show Undercover Boss. I thinks its great that either things change for the better or the boss figures out what a complete jerk they are - either way, its great for the minions to finally be heard and seen. Lol, speaking as a minion for many, many years. ;) However, one of the things that the boss said today hit me. I hadn't thought of it that way and I need to remember it. Dan McCann (I think), COO/President of 1-800-Flowers - his father died after a 3rd surgery for cancer. He said that he had talked to his dad before the 3rd operation and his dad didn't want to do it - but instead of looking back and saying he is responsible for his father's death because he talked him into the surgery, he looks back with pride saying that his father fought to the end and never gave up.
That is one of the "guilts" I have carried for 4 yrs. My mom didn't want to have another back surgery but she was in constant pain, grouchy because of it, and uncomfortable no matter what she did. My kids didn't remember grandma happy or laughing - it broke my heart, both for them and for her. She would say that she wasn't ready to go, she wanted to be around for her grandkids - but I had to remind her, what good was she when she wasn't doing what she wanted with her grandkids and was always grumpy with them. Yeah, I hope I didn't sound that harsh but those were roughly my comments. She was trying to decide whether or not to have surgery - I put in my two cents. I know its egotistical to think that my "say" had anything to do with her decision - she was a full grown woman of 72 with 8 kids, 35 grandkids, and 13 great grandchildren - I don't think just "one" voice was heard. However, after someone is gone - you can't but help think back on things you said, didn't say or didn't do. From now on I will do my best to think instead that my mom fought with her all to still be here for me and my kids - she didn't give up on trying to become again the grandma that she wanted to be or them to see. I will add this to my list of positive memories and try to make her proud of me by being the mom she raised me to be. ♥
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