Getting Ready...........

Officially by Monday I will be dead. My body is majorly complaining at me for everything I've tried to get done this week, let alone today. I used to be superwoman and this would have been nothing and I still would be going. It really stinks when you can't push yourself just a little bit more to be kinda "normal". =P Thankfully I've been kinda sleeping this week which has allowed me a bit more energy to tackle the stuff I have. =] (YAY) Dean has made 1 trip to DI, 2 to the school recycling bin and has returned from picking up the borrowed chairs. Chicken is trying to thaw in the sink >.> I need it thawed by tonight so I can put everything in pans, cover it with foil and leave them in the fridge for tomorrow. :D Shoot - I just cleaned the kitchen and realize I have to make bread >.< crap. Guess I'll be "re-cleaning" the kitchen tonight. The blank spots left on the wall downstairs are just boards needing to be cut- WAHOO! It's not perfect, you can tell a pro didn't do it but my hope is that it just looks better than it did! (the hole is gone now!!!! YES! can you see my happy dance?)

Left on the docket today......call and receive remaining visiting teaching reports - go to the church and do the report >.>, make bread, re-clean the kitchen >/, scan pictures for the Eagle boy and for myself, entertain the in-laws, get the wood cut, oh yeah- TAKE A SHOWER =P......it's almost 4 I think that's all I'm going to be able to squeeze in. Toodles!

Alien Abduction....=S

Have you ever heard yourself say something and wondered why it was coming out of your mouth? Felt yourself react yet it isn't what you were thinking and you can't stop it? Okay, well that is happening a little too often to me these days....I'm going to blame it on an alien abduction. =] See, I'm not going crazy - it was an alien >]. The scary part about that comment is the fact that the actions really are alien to you if that isn't what your thinking; therefore, that statement is true 0_0.

I don't know why I'm blessed with the friends that I have. A really good friend I haven't seen for 20 yrs until this year =] sent me some good advice. It wasn't advice I didn't know, it just needed to be heard again. Thank you. However, it still hasn't made the aliens that have taken me over leave. Last night, once my brain was functioning logically again, I realized and had it confirmed that my friend was simply trying to invite me to the fun. He wanted to include me but for some reason my pea-brain decided I don't know what and made it physically hurt. =/ I'm really confused by this one, am I getting Alzheimer's? No that's not the one - bipolar? split personality? Those sound really scary 0_o we'll forget I said anything =].

Mr Junior, (my life is possessed and I don't want it to be I still want to be a kid) has a big weekend. He stayed after school to practice for the concert next week, the artist performing came to practice with them. He's now currently at the Layton Lancers Football game (GO LANCERS!) where he marches the team out with one drum and than switches to a different once the band hits the bleachers. Than he heads to his favorite place - Susan's cabin - his grandparents come tomorrow sometime from Oregon and Sunday is church, his ordination and everyone at our house for Linner (lunch/dinner) afterward. I think I'm REALLY glad that Monday is a holiday for ALL OF US! He complains he has no time to do anything but honestly, he is Mr Schedule...he has always had to have something to do or he goes nuts and takes it out on siblings. So, sorry fb fans...he can vent there all he wants but know that at home he's just busy and not spending 4 hrs a day on his xbox =P. I told him if he can pull a C or higher from Alg 2 and Chemistry than I will consider letting him get a job. Right now he is helping to clean up at Susan's house so that they can finish their remodel.

Yummy pancakes for dinner again. I hate the last pay week of August to Sept. It ends up being almost 3 weeks before payday and I have 2 kids bdays in the middle. >.< Anthony received his presents before his birthday so all he got was a cake and his new rules (curfew, etc). Previously he received an xbox harddrive, game controller, 2 games....yeah he got enough. Olivia wants a sleepover for her bday next week and hasn't decided on her cake yet so that will be interesting to tackle. Okay, back to the mess in my house before my mother-in-law arrives =].

I'm beginning to hate the word "whatever"

Have you ever noticed that the word "whatever" is always said derogatory when used by itself? Whether said by unhappy teenagers in response to a parental decision, teacher assignment, punishment even....or said by adults- it never means a good thing.

Lately I've been hearing that word alot. Partially from Anthony who has suddenly realized that sitting on his butt after school is no longer an option and is grieving for his younger days and partially from those I consider friends. Yeah why would you be friends with someone who seems to repeatedly be saying to you "whatever, I'm sick of the bs". Yeah, hence my status on fb. It seems that I am the bs, they aren't saying specifically that I am yet when one hears this term used liberally enough and they are associated with the matter - one tends to start to believe it. So, how do personal feelings, thoughts and actions of one person turn into the bs spoken of by another? I don't exactly know. I don't know that I want to know. You know all this soul searching and learning to love yourself really hurts. There are parts of everyone that you hide from the world. Sometimes you allow a few people to see that, hoping for acceptance, hoping that what you hide isn't as bad as it seems to you. nuff said.

So, now it's 2:30 in the morning and instead of sleeping I'm crying. I hoped and I prayed and felt good about talking out differences with my friend and sort of beginning again. Maybe that's not possible, maybe this person can't forgive or let go. I know that when I hear those words out of their mouth it stabs me in the heart. "You have to re-earn my trust", maybe trust wasn't the only thing - maybe they didn't realize that they really had no idea how much bs I was capable of or made of. Maybe we all are.