Ok everyone faint now...2 days in a row...

Yes, I am trying to get back to normal, thanks to all of you who still love me even when I don't act like the me you know =].

I'm hoping that within the next month I can be off my prescriptions and on some herbal remedies that will help me stop the self-loathing, self-denial, self-pity, and overall just unhappiness felt inside and out. It is all generated from me and within me - some blame my pills which can't be right cuz I feel they don't completely work- some blame my lack of doing what I know I should - blame, blame, blame...blaming doesn't do anyone any good and neither does judging. Right now, this is me and as Alisha said in her blog - I am climbing my mountain. A mountain I never saw, never dreamed I'd ever climb but honestly one of the biggest, scariest ones I've ever faced. Over the past few years I've gotten a little higher than either fallen off the next cliff or loosen my grip and gone flying into the side.

I know I'm still on the mountain and I know I'll make it to the top. I have too many people that rely on me, better yet I have those few who love me and love me unconditionally and see me as my Father see's me - who I really am, not who I see or who the world has me looking at - for that I am grateful.