I started blogging, honestly I don't remember how many years ago, it was supposed to be therapy; however, I didn't have a thick enough skin to say what I wanted to and not care how others responded, I still don't. I am getting there though and that is a good thing. Due to not having a thick skin, my oldest son going on a mission, I do believe I have 4 blogs.... none where getting updated except my son's mission blog until he came home this past January.
Many things have happened since January in his life. His best friend came home from her mission also, their planes landed - not exaggerating or joking - within 10 minutes of each other. Both families were able to greet them both, it was great. 4 months later the two married. He is the age I was when he married; however, even though I was the partner with the job, the apartment, etc - I think he feels more the burden and responsibility of being the "man of the house". The adult world has settled on their shoulders within a short time with all the fun things it brings: car breakdowns, car mishaps with poles, learning about leases and that people are human and sometimes make mistakes that affect you. However, they are very much in love and best friends so even while they are adjusting to each other, they have kept firm in their minds that this is their best friend, their eternal companion - we couldn't be prouder of them. My daughter in law asked for all of us to vlog something for my son for Christmas. I wrote mine out first and thought I'd write more, thoughts clearer if I write it again here. My son is too much like his mother with a mix of his dad so while he feels everything and it affects him like his mom, he has a hard time expressing his feelings like his dad. I am thankful for his wife that see's this and is taking steps to help him see that he isn't what his brain is telling him. ♥ She wanted me to email her my vlog, I will send her this link, pretty sure its obvious that I will be crying while I type. Here's my "letter" to my son.
This is my baby boy. He often thinks he is not good enough but I know the truth. My son is and always has been, MORE. In therapy I've learned that words others use to hurt us have two sides, good and bad - any words I use are in no way meant in the bad form, never to any of my kids.
He is:
MORE excitable
MORE leaderish
MORE stubborn
MORE emotional
MORE aware
and
MORE talented.
This talented man can cook, sew, bake, play the piano, the drums, percussion instruments, make movies out of nothing but legos, is an Eagle Scout, and can make friends wherever he goes. I am and have always been so proud of him and often wondered why he tries to hide these things but I will just continue to name them as achievements he has.
He is MORE excitable. He gets this from my side of the family, when we got married my husband was astounded at how happy my mom was at something he'd done or accomplished. The more his creative juices flow, as his ideas form, the louder and more animated he becomes. =] In 6th grade I had to explain this to his teacher, he was getting in trouble for it. Others were following his lead and the teacher was at a loss. When I explained my son to her it was like a light bulb went off, she took his excitement and started using it to her advantage. Here is the "leaderish" part my son denies... she used it to get the class excited because whether my son believes it of himself or not, when others copy you or imitate you, you have become a natural leader and an example. The class started doing better and by the end of the year Anthony was her favorite student. Wow, what understanding does right?
He is MORE stubborn. The "not good" comment on this was always the Terry family saying that "Terry's aren't stubborn" followed by eye rolls and laughs. He received this gift and it is one, from both of his parents and their families. How is this a gift? Being stubborn is seen as a fault by those that don't possess the quality or by those that cannot convince you to their way. It is a gift to be able to withstand the temptations of man and peers. This quality became obvious around 18 months old. I believe my kids were saved for the last days and these so called "bad" qualities will actually bless them and assist them in what they have been sent to accomplish. Once Anthony has something in his head, you cannot remove it. It is part of what made him a wonderful missionary for the church, he believes and has an unshakable faith. My only problem with his stubbornness was figuring out how to get the right and good things into his head.
He is MORE emotional and aware. Again, such a blessing while on his mission and in reality, when dealing with the public. He understands, he's empathetic, and he tries to do something about it. Anyone that tells him it isn't manly is struggling being a man themselves. A true man admits to his feelings and isn't afraid to show them as he watches his feelings assist those around them to better themselves and their situations. Through out school and his mission I received comments from neighbors, teachers -both in school and church, and people from his mission field. They all want to tell me about how wonderful he is, the little things he does that make a difference to them that others don't think to notice or walk past. Whether he wanted to do it or not in the first place doesn't stop him doing a service with a smile and by the end, a laugh and good feelings all around.
My baby boy is human, he has faults, so does everyone; however, I would rather he focus on his numerous good points and talents. It is too easy to be dragged down by the world we live in, the day to day little things can pick at you until you want to throw your hands in the air in defeat. When you have, Satan has won. Why is this world the way it is? So much fear, hate, families falling apart... because it is the only way he can drag the righteous down, if they let him. Our true purpose here is, as a wise return missionary once told me, "men are that they might have joy, not stress". He only wins if we let all the little things in life drags us down, the Lord has not sent us here to fail but to overcome the world and Satan. My scares Satan more than when my son wakes up each morning feeling good, ready to face the day with determination and his natural abilities.
I love you baby.
Mom ♥
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