Day Seven....Four moments that changed my life.
These are going to sound cliche' so I'm going to add explanations =P. I have moments of inspiration which are often to personal to share so I'm going to put "events" that changed my life.
1. My Wedding: I didn't date in HS, I sort of dated out of HS. The guys I did date usually got one date and than I'd kinda freak on them...lol don't ask. Never having had a "boyfriend" but tons of guys that were "friends" I was ready to be married and not be on my own anymore. According to those that worked with me, it was a good day when I got married - I got nicer. ;)
2. Birth of my Children: To me every birth is a miracle, there is nothing ordinary about child birth, the risks on the mother and baby, or what happens to your body when you become pregnant - you are never the same again.... physically or emotionally. My children are my life - I would do anything for them and constantly have to stop myself trying to so that they can experience and discover for themselves.
3. Death of my Parents: My parents died 8 yrs apart but I KNEW when they were both going. My husband also knew about my dad, my mom shocked us all and rocked my little family's world. It was shocking to have my dad die but he was in so much pain it was good. My mom had been my best friend since it was just she and I left at home from age 16 on. She and my dad came to dinner every Sunday, Dean and I took over the responsibilities of fixing things, etc when my dad passed and she still came to dinner every Sunday. We talked on the phone every day. When she died I became an orphan. I have 7 brothers/sisters and I have never felt so alone in the world.
4. Buying our home: We bought our first home 13 yrs ago and haven't moved. Before that I personally had moved 6 times from the time I moved away from home - in 3 yrs. Dean and I than moved another 3 times. It's always been my experience after about 3 or 4 yrs that I get fed up with the someone in the ward, become unhappy with neighbors or landlords. When we moved here I expected it but I've never felt it. I have my issues with the ward but that's me, not the people. My neighbors are our anchor to our home....Dean would have sold our house because of all it's problems after only 3 yrs but our neighbors are so wonderful that we just put up with them. (the problems not the neighbors) As a cul-de-sac we get together every July for a Firework/BBQ - kids and their kids keep coming back - now it spreads through 3 yards :)...until we all got snowblowers there used to be a race each snowfall with the men to see who could shovel first....and you've never seen a nosier bunch - I mean, we have the ABSOLUTE BEST crime watch ever! lol...yep, I'm the head of the busy bodies. ;)
Day eight: three favorite foods, movies, and colors.
Three Favorite Foods:
1. New York Style Cheesecake
2. Southwestern Bean Dip (Pampered Chef recipe)
3. Pull apart beef brisket
Three Favorite Movies:
1. White Christmas - I can recite it almost word for word...including songs...a must every Christmas
2. Purgatory - The only thing that would make this western any better is if John Wayne were in it :)
3. Sabrina - the old and the remake. They couldn't have picked a better stand in for Humphrey Bogart than Harrison Ford. He did an amazing job and the remake can stand on it own two feet. :)
The Favorite Colors:
1. Purple
2. Green
3. Blue
Day Nine...Two words to describe my life right now.
Getting Better.
Day Ten...one confession
I'm an illusion. I'm not who people usually think I am. There are times that's a shock - good or bad. But I can only be me and when you get down to finding the real me than hopefully your staying for awhile.
2011/06/14
2011/06/11
Ten Days....Day 4, 5, 6
Day Four.....Seven things that cross my mind alot.
>.< SERIOUSLY?!? You guys know I'm going to break my own rule and totally LIE right now right? You don't need to know me THAT well =P.
1. When can I get back to the book I'm reading. I wish I could write this well.
2. What the **** set me off now, why am I so sad/cranky?
3. Is my garden still alive? Does it need water?
4. Where are my children....it's too quiet!
5. Diet Coke...do I really want one? or do I want the idea...hmm...gets diet coke
6. Chocolate.....mmmmmm......milk chocolate.......mmmmmmm
7. Sex...ok YES I admit it...are you happy now? geesh.
Day Five ......Six things I wish I'd never done.
Wow...narrowing it down to six hunh?
1. Stepped on a sewing needle in my bedroom when I was 5. It went through the soul of my shoe and into the bottom of my foot.
2. Listened to my dad when I was 7 and he was saying I was "too skinny drink more milk" ...pfft look at me now!
3. Answered the door when I was 14.
4. Walked away at graduation.
5. Moved in with Dawnella before I got married....that's okay, she knew I had a gun under my pillow.
6. Blew off college to work in the "real world" so early....kinda sucked.
Day Six.....Five people you couldn't live without.
1. Dean
2. Anthony
3. Benjamin
4. Olivia
5. My Mom - but, she's already gone...there's part of my problem.
>.< SERIOUSLY?!? You guys know I'm going to break my own rule and totally LIE right now right? You don't need to know me THAT well =P.
1. When can I get back to the book I'm reading. I wish I could write this well.
2. What the **** set me off now, why am I so sad/cranky?
3. Is my garden still alive? Does it need water?
4. Where are my children....it's too quiet!
5. Diet Coke...do I really want one? or do I want the idea...hmm...gets diet coke
6. Chocolate.....mmmmmm......milk chocolate.......mmmmmmm
7. Sex...ok YES I admit it...are you happy now? geesh.
Day Five ......Six things I wish I'd never done.
Wow...narrowing it down to six hunh?
1. Stepped on a sewing needle in my bedroom when I was 5. It went through the soul of my shoe and into the bottom of my foot.
2. Listened to my dad when I was 7 and he was saying I was "too skinny drink more milk" ...pfft look at me now!
3. Answered the door when I was 14.
4. Walked away at graduation.
5. Moved in with Dawnella before I got married....that's okay, she knew I had a gun under my pillow.
6. Blew off college to work in the "real world" so early....kinda sucked.
Day Six.....Five people you couldn't live without.
1. Dean
2. Anthony
3. Benjamin
4. Olivia
5. My Mom - but, she's already gone...there's part of my problem.
2011/06/08
Ten Days.....Day One, Two and Three
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. Hold on.....
To Deano: You are my rock and my strength to live each day. I couldn't have gotten through the past 20 yrs without your understanding, wisdom, strength and love. I know I don't see what you see; therefore, it makes it hard to believe what you - but never doubt that the words are listened to and appreciated. I love you.
To Anthony: I am SO proud of you and the young man you have become. You make me smile with joy when you don't realize that I'm even watching you. I love your silliness, your playfulness, your geekiness, and your delight in things that others don't see. I wish that everyone could know my son as I do...but I'm grateful that I get the chance and just feel sad for the rest.
To Benjamin: You are my funny little bug. No one see's the world like you do and it's wonderful and refreshing! I love that you are becoming more open with me about things and letting me see a little more of your silliness. I am truely blessed with good boys and you make me more proud each day as you try hard to accomplish your goals. I know its been tough this past year but I also know that you have it in you and there isn't anything you can't do!
To Olivia: My little girl, in some ways, the little me following me around. But I hope that you take my good qualities and not my bad, my good habits and not my worst. I love that you are gaining more courage to be yourself in expression and activity - don't ever let anyone put you down for who you are or what you want to be - the world is open to you and knowing you, all it's wonders will be discovered well before their time. I'm very proud of my smart little princess.
To Mel: Next to Dean you have been my truest best friend in my life time. I wish we weren't so different, that our worlds didn't clash so that we could truly understand each other better and never fight. I wish I could take back last August, even though I still will never ever take back caring enough about you to do what I did. I love you Mel, our distance is hell but I don't know that I can say it would be any better the other way.
To Brandon: Lol....wow, what could I possibly say to you Brandy that I haven't said like twenty times in the past five years...or even last week! For some reason you and I stick...we can't deny that on a deeper level we are friends, even though on the surface we struggle, part, come back and struggle again. You will always be there for me and I for you - we just know that and I think we just need to keep reminding ourselves. Love you.
To Tyson: To a great neighbor - who now has moved and to what I hope is becoming a great friend. You are an extremely nice guy, amazing neighbor, hard worker, and I would LOVE if my boys treated me the way you treat your mom. Any woman will be blessed to finally snag you so don't give up and don't let any of those that aren't still around tell you otherwise.
To Cherisa: My beautiful boo. I can't tell you often enough how grateful I am that you decided to move in with us. It has done my kids such a world of good to get to know you, to have you as an influence and a friend. I know life seems kind of stuck right now with every direction calling yet not a clear path. Hold tight love, when the time is right, you will know where to go, what to do and maybe even who to be with. :) I love you!
To Rebecca: My friend I don't have words to say. I wish I had arms to heal and love to suffice and the strength to give so that everything could be fixed and right in your world. I don't know why some things are harder for some people than others, I don't always understand why pain must be repeated but please know that I am always...always here for you, no matter the time of day or night. Pain isn't convenient it just hurts. ♥
To Eledice: Bless you Dean's grandma. Even if I could say this to you, I'm not sure you would hear me or acknowledge that you understand. I never really had a grandma. My dad's mom died 17 yrs before I was born and my mother's mom lived far away. When I married Dean, you welcomed me as if I was your own granddaughter. You loved me and treated me like no one but my own parents ever have. I know you have had a hard life and I will treasure you forever and always. You are my grandma as much as you are Dean's and I am proud to say that. I told you four years ago you couldn't leave because I couldn't handle losing you and my mom so close together and in almost the same way. I will hold you prisoner no more, I am sorry for my selfishness. Be happy grandma - for once go and be happy.
Day Two: Nine interesting facts about yourself...0.o
1. I grew up in a haunted house. No joke, no lie.
2. I love to sing but due to my reactive asthma haven't been fully able to in years. I need to fix this, I have to sing at a funeral that people think isn't going to be far off. >.<
3. My oldest brother is 19 yrs older than me, my oldest niece (his daughter) is 5 yrs younger.
4. I eat "garden" (must be garden) fresh tomato's on my peanut butter toast....yummy!
5. I LOVE to cook and bake. Someone should really hire me so all I have to do is hang out in an A/C kitchen all day :)
6. I love being outdoors but get heat exhaustion very easily and have horrid hay fever - *shrugs w/e.
7. I don't do seafood....it looks good, shrimp scampi smells incredible but no. The closest I'll get is Tuna, Halibut and Mahi Mahi.
8. I finally found my happy place..you know they tell you "picture your happy place"....which interestingly enough is floating in the water looking up at a wooded canopy and blue sky. Umm..I don't swim or float.
9. I grew up with a military dad and know how to fire a gun. My grandpa was a police officer in SL, don't be knocking on my window at 2am.
10. I am easily bored. However, that doesn't stop me from whiling away a few hours on a computer game or stupid fb. =P
Day Three: Eight ways to win my heart....hmm.
1. Don't lie or tease. Honesty is always the best policy with me and if need be, be "gently" honest.
2. Be willing to listen. Worst thing for me to admit but it's true, I love to talk.
3. Love to dance.
4. Love music...all kinds.
5. Don't get bored when I read....or grumpy.
6. have integrity to what you believe in and who you are.
7. Have a sense of Humor.
8. Chocolate and flowers are always nice >].
To Deano: You are my rock and my strength to live each day. I couldn't have gotten through the past 20 yrs without your understanding, wisdom, strength and love. I know I don't see what you see; therefore, it makes it hard to believe what you - but never doubt that the words are listened to and appreciated. I love you.
To Anthony: I am SO proud of you and the young man you have become. You make me smile with joy when you don't realize that I'm even watching you. I love your silliness, your playfulness, your geekiness, and your delight in things that others don't see. I wish that everyone could know my son as I do...but I'm grateful that I get the chance and just feel sad for the rest.
To Benjamin: You are my funny little bug. No one see's the world like you do and it's wonderful and refreshing! I love that you are becoming more open with me about things and letting me see a little more of your silliness. I am truely blessed with good boys and you make me more proud each day as you try hard to accomplish your goals. I know its been tough this past year but I also know that you have it in you and there isn't anything you can't do!
To Olivia: My little girl, in some ways, the little me following me around. But I hope that you take my good qualities and not my bad, my good habits and not my worst. I love that you are gaining more courage to be yourself in expression and activity - don't ever let anyone put you down for who you are or what you want to be - the world is open to you and knowing you, all it's wonders will be discovered well before their time. I'm very proud of my smart little princess.
To Mel: Next to Dean you have been my truest best friend in my life time. I wish we weren't so different, that our worlds didn't clash so that we could truly understand each other better and never fight. I wish I could take back last August, even though I still will never ever take back caring enough about you to do what I did. I love you Mel, our distance is hell but I don't know that I can say it would be any better the other way.
To Brandon: Lol....wow, what could I possibly say to you Brandy that I haven't said like twenty times in the past five years...or even last week! For some reason you and I stick...we can't deny that on a deeper level we are friends, even though on the surface we struggle, part, come back and struggle again. You will always be there for me and I for you - we just know that and I think we just need to keep reminding ourselves. Love you.
To Tyson: To a great neighbor - who now has moved and to what I hope is becoming a great friend. You are an extremely nice guy, amazing neighbor, hard worker, and I would LOVE if my boys treated me the way you treat your mom. Any woman will be blessed to finally snag you so don't give up and don't let any of those that aren't still around tell you otherwise.
To Cherisa: My beautiful boo. I can't tell you often enough how grateful I am that you decided to move in with us. It has done my kids such a world of good to get to know you, to have you as an influence and a friend. I know life seems kind of stuck right now with every direction calling yet not a clear path. Hold tight love, when the time is right, you will know where to go, what to do and maybe even who to be with. :) I love you!
To Rebecca: My friend I don't have words to say. I wish I had arms to heal and love to suffice and the strength to give so that everything could be fixed and right in your world. I don't know why some things are harder for some people than others, I don't always understand why pain must be repeated but please know that I am always...always here for you, no matter the time of day or night. Pain isn't convenient it just hurts. ♥
To Eledice: Bless you Dean's grandma. Even if I could say this to you, I'm not sure you would hear me or acknowledge that you understand. I never really had a grandma. My dad's mom died 17 yrs before I was born and my mother's mom lived far away. When I married Dean, you welcomed me as if I was your own granddaughter. You loved me and treated me like no one but my own parents ever have. I know you have had a hard life and I will treasure you forever and always. You are my grandma as much as you are Dean's and I am proud to say that. I told you four years ago you couldn't leave because I couldn't handle losing you and my mom so close together and in almost the same way. I will hold you prisoner no more, I am sorry for my selfishness. Be happy grandma - for once go and be happy.
Day Two: Nine interesting facts about yourself...0.o
1. I grew up in a haunted house. No joke, no lie.
2. I love to sing but due to my reactive asthma haven't been fully able to in years. I need to fix this, I have to sing at a funeral that people think isn't going to be far off. >.<
3. My oldest brother is 19 yrs older than me, my oldest niece (his daughter) is 5 yrs younger.
4. I eat "garden" (must be garden) fresh tomato's on my peanut butter toast....yummy!
5. I LOVE to cook and bake. Someone should really hire me so all I have to do is hang out in an A/C kitchen all day :)
6. I love being outdoors but get heat exhaustion very easily and have horrid hay fever - *shrugs w/e.
7. I don't do seafood....it looks good, shrimp scampi smells incredible but no. The closest I'll get is Tuna, Halibut and Mahi Mahi.
8. I finally found my happy place..you know they tell you "picture your happy place"....which interestingly enough is floating in the water looking up at a wooded canopy and blue sky. Umm..I don't swim or float.
9. I grew up with a military dad and know how to fire a gun. My grandpa was a police officer in SL, don't be knocking on my window at 2am.
10. I am easily bored. However, that doesn't stop me from whiling away a few hours on a computer game or stupid fb. =P
Day Three: Eight ways to win my heart....hmm.
1. Don't lie or tease. Honesty is always the best policy with me and if need be, be "gently" honest.
2. Be willing to listen. Worst thing for me to admit but it's true, I love to talk.
3. Love to dance.
4. Love music...all kinds.
5. Don't get bored when I read....or grumpy.
6. have integrity to what you believe in and who you are.
7. Have a sense of Humor.
8. Chocolate and flowers are always nice >].
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