The time is coming........

Five years ago in November I believe, Dean's grandma had an episode. Thankfully her boyfriend who was coming to get her knocked on her door and when she didn't answer he went in. She was collapsed on the bathroom floor from loss of blood due to a bleeding ulcer. We almost lost her and to me that was just too soon. My mom had died in May that year, first collapsing in the bathroom. That was too much for me and I admitted to her that if she was still here than she could blame me since I was refusing to let her go so soon after my mom. Since that episode Dean's strong, independent grandma lost her independence due to acute arthritis. After sitting for even 5 minutes she was unsteady on her feet due to the pain of standing up. She has continued to have falls, even in the retirement home. The wonderful woman who avidly listened to her police scanner, still drove herself around at 82, and still baked her wonderful chocolate chip cookies, chocolate pie and deviled eggs.

As many put in hospice she has gone slowly downhill ever since, she now weighs 80 lbs and has shrunk to around 5'ft tall. It's always sad to see someone you love wither away with old age, becoming less and less of themself. She can no longer swallow, she rarely opens her eyes, and they've started her on a morphine drip. May God bless her and keep her, may her departure from this world be quick and painless, knowing that she is loved by many. Love you Grandma.

Ten Days.....Day 7, 8, 9, & 10

Day Seven....Four moments that changed my life.

These are going to sound cliche' so I'm going to add explanations =P. I have moments of inspiration which are often to personal to share so I'm going to put "events" that changed my life.

1. My Wedding: I didn't date in HS, I sort of dated out of HS. The guys I did date usually got one date and than I'd kinda freak on them...lol don't ask. Never having had a "boyfriend" but tons of guys that were "friends" I was ready to be married and not be on my own anymore. According to those that worked with me, it was a good day when I got married - I got nicer. ;)

2. Birth of my Children: To me every birth is a miracle, there is nothing ordinary about child birth, the risks on the mother and baby, or what happens to your body when you become pregnant - you are never the same again.... physically or emotionally. My children are my life - I would do anything for them and constantly have to stop myself trying to so that they can experience and discover for themselves.

3. Death of my Parents: My parents died 8 yrs apart but I KNEW when they were both going. My husband also knew about my dad, my mom shocked us all and rocked my little family's world. It was shocking to have my dad die but he was in so much pain it was good. My mom had been my best friend since it was just she and I left at home from age 16 on. She and my dad came to dinner every Sunday, Dean and I took over the responsibilities of fixing things, etc when my dad passed and she still came to dinner every Sunday. We talked on the phone every day. When she died I became an orphan. I have 7 brothers/sisters and I have never felt so alone in the world.

4. Buying our home: We bought our first home 13 yrs ago and haven't moved. Before that I personally had moved 6 times from the time I moved away from home - in 3 yrs. Dean and I than moved another 3 times. It's always been my experience after about 3 or 4 yrs that I get fed up with the someone in the ward, become unhappy with neighbors or landlords. When we moved here I expected it but I've never felt it. I have my issues with the ward but that's me, not the people. My neighbors are our anchor to our home....Dean would have sold our house because of all it's problems after only 3 yrs but our neighbors are so wonderful that we just put up with them. (the problems not the neighbors) As a cul-de-sac we get together every July for a Firework/BBQ - kids and their kids keep coming back - now it spreads through 3 yards :)...until we all got snowblowers there used to be a race each snowfall with the men to see who could shovel first....and you've never seen a nosier bunch - I mean, we have the ABSOLUTE BEST crime watch ever! lol...yep, I'm the head of the busy bodies. ;)

Day eight: three favorite foods, movies, and colors.


Three Favorite Foods:
1. New York Style Cheesecake
2. Southwestern Bean Dip (Pampered Chef recipe)
3. Pull apart beef brisket

Three Favorite Movies:
1. White Christmas - I can recite it almost word for word...including songs...a must every Christmas
2. Purgatory - The only thing that would make this western any better is if John Wayne were in it :)
3. Sabrina - the old and the remake. They couldn't have picked a better stand in for Humphrey Bogart than Harrison Ford. He did an amazing job and the remake can stand on it own two feet. :)

The Favorite Colors:
1. Purple
2. Green
3. Blue

Day Nine...Two words to describe my life right now.

Getting Better.


Day Ten...one confession

I'm an illusion. I'm not who people usually think I am. There are times that's a shock - good or bad. But I can only be me and when you get down to finding the real me than hopefully your staying for awhile.

Ten Days....Day 4, 5, 6

Day Four.....Seven things that cross my mind alot.

>.< SERIOUSLY?!? You guys know I'm going to break my own rule and totally LIE right now right? You don't need to know me THAT well =P.

1. When can I get back to the book I'm reading. I wish I could write this well.

2. What the **** set me off now, why am I so sad/cranky?

3. Is my garden still alive? Does it need water?

4. Where are my children....it's too quiet!

5. Diet Coke...do I really want one? or do I want the idea...hmm...gets diet coke

6. Chocolate.....mmmmmm......milk chocolate.......mmmmmmm

7. Sex...ok YES I admit it...are you happy now? geesh.


Day Five ......Six things I wish I'd never done.

Wow...narrowing it down to six hunh?

1. Stepped on a sewing needle in my bedroom when I was 5. It went through the soul of my shoe and into the bottom of my foot.

2. Listened to my dad when I was 7 and he was saying I was "too skinny drink more milk" ...pfft look at me now!

3. Answered the door when I was 14.

4. Walked away at graduation.

5. Moved in with Dawnella before I got married....that's okay, she knew I had a gun under my pillow.

6. Blew off college to work in the "real world" so early....kinda sucked.


Day Six.....Five people you couldn't live without.

1. Dean
2. Anthony
3. Benjamin
4. Olivia
5. My Mom - but, she's already gone...there's part of my problem.