3 loaves of bread, 2 8X8 pan's of brownies, homemade stew and a good book. I fear I am almost done with all that I can read in the books that Iris Johansen has written. This makes me sad, I really enjoy her books...so I guess in a little bit I will be off to find another new author. I have a couple on hold at the library to try, I've just really enjoyed the mix of people, situations, intrigue and that in most of her books I'm finding that she tells the next character's story in the next book. =] I love that! So far, I've seen the life of one character in 4 books and she's expanding through other books the other characters and people that surround them...how fun and intriguing.
If you read anything on my facebook wall within the past week, you'll see that I've deleted two of my newest and closest pirate friends. One I miss but am okay with deleting. I've always had a knack for attracting people who's lives are completely different than mine. My mom used to call it lost puppy syndrome, I call them friends. I call it learning about life, being grateful for the life I have and was given and learning an appreciation for those that I get to know in real life and online. Neither of these guys were over 30 - in fact, one was 23. He is the one I think I'm okay with losing - and I don't say that losing a friend in fact I'm sad that I've hurt him. His comment to me was that anytime anyone gets close they leave...and I didn't intend to and he's a nice guy. However, I will admit that he wanted more than I was willing to give, which understandably upset him but he respected me for that also. Unfortunately, when I chose to leave, he threw my life back in my face and apparently didn't understand me all that well at all. I'm saddened by that and by his hurt feelings but the way things were going had to stop and the only way I knew to stop them was by pulling away - completely. On the other side if you know me well at all, you know that I won't stay away if I have any say in it - I don't like hurting people and I don't like losing friends.
The other guy our relationship went fast...almost too fast and I think it freaked him. Usually guys like Harv are cool, aloof and impersonal. It has to do with being in the military and since my dad was that way, I totally get it. My last friend I lost, Mel wasn't military but was a bouncer - same type of protective instincts and closed off personality. I had to worm my way into Mel and his life - ok worm is not the right word, more like bulldoze. I didn't need to do that with Harv and I think it took us both back a little and he ran....sort of. Unfortunately he did what I can't emotionally handle - he withdrew...giving just enough of himself each day to keep me around but nothing else - no playing (pillying) or stuff that I was used to - total absence, just a name on a screen. For a reason unknown and still unknown to me - his excuses where just that, excuses. He knew it and I knew it and I could feel it wasn't about to change...so I left. I totally left. I deleted him on facebook, msn, and from all my shoppes on game and him as a hearty on game. After a day of wretching pain I could think and focus better and I tried to reach out - twice. A fault of mine...I can't leave things be, I hate for people to be hurt by me or think badly of me, I want to leave things on an even keel. I have enough problems without adding friends that are now enemies to my list. Well, unfortunately it didn't work, I don't even know that he read what I wrote him- I just know that I'm now a "stalker" and I'm muted on the game. Sigh...but weird ...because I don't really feel like I've lost him or maybe I have and that was the gut wretching pain I felt and than disappated. I don't know...I never know...ugh how annoying. =P
2011/10/09
2011/09/26
Under the weather....
Which is really annoying in more than one way. For the first part, Fall is my absolutely favorite season of the entire year. Most years I feel cheated because it lasts maybe just 2 weeks in Utah - >.< seriously? This is why I love Fall.....
1. The crispness in the air. I am a 70 degree person all the way. I love the comfort and security of a hoodie and a slight bite in the air allows me my favorite clothing. It also feels fantabulous!
2. I can BAKE! With Fall here it means holidays and holidays mean BAKING to me!!! Happy, happy, happy me....baking is an escape and a way to show my love for others.
3. Beauty all around. Fall means color change .... the mountains, the tree's, the flowers....in Utah if your lucky you can even catch green grass, sprinkling of white snow, and beautiful red and yellow leaves. =] Gorgeous.
4. Windows are OPEN....A/C is OFF....what more can I say =].
Anyways....I hate my body. Well besides what I see in the mirror =P...I am falling apart. I have actually been falling apart since I was born BUT....everyone's old addage of being over 40 makes it worse has come to pass. Bah. I have worked on computers for ...forever! Before Anthony was born I got checked for Rhuematoid Arthritis - the diagnosis was that it was either Carpal Tunnel or RA but they couldn't say which at that point because they have the same symptoms and I have RA titters. They did say that since than - so from age of 23, I've had Osteo Arthritis. Usually it doesn't bug me unless there is a major jet stream coming through - but now - instead of my wrists, its my freaking SHOULDER! From working the mouse - really? I can barely move my shoulder some days to do my hair >.< and it is working through my neck and down the front of my trapizoids? Anyways - that comes and goes. However, I have these lovely lungs. Ugh. I was diagnosed with reactive asthma about 6 yrs ago - they say it comes from my allergies. So, whenever I start wheezing I resist going to the Dr - I know he will just say it's allergies are you using your inhaler? Than Dean always heads to the Dr and comes back with bronchitis - yep got it from me >.< - and than another week or two - heading into about 6 wks now my chest hurts and I've started an antibiotic because I wheeze constantly, my chest hurts, my sinuses are killing me. I've woken up twice with Asthma attacks in the middle of the night - really? Never happened before and really scary. Uh - the pleasures of getting old.
I go my hair recut - and highlighted - you can't see much of it here but that's okay =P. It's supposed to have sides but I haven't been in the mood to put up with them so they are pushed behind my ears >].
1. The crispness in the air. I am a 70 degree person all the way. I love the comfort and security of a hoodie and a slight bite in the air allows me my favorite clothing. It also feels fantabulous!
2. I can BAKE! With Fall here it means holidays and holidays mean BAKING to me!!! Happy, happy, happy me....baking is an escape and a way to show my love for others.
3. Beauty all around. Fall means color change .... the mountains, the tree's, the flowers....in Utah if your lucky you can even catch green grass, sprinkling of white snow, and beautiful red and yellow leaves. =] Gorgeous.
4. Windows are OPEN....A/C is OFF....what more can I say =].
Anyways....I hate my body. Well besides what I see in the mirror =P...I am falling apart. I have actually been falling apart since I was born BUT....everyone's old addage of being over 40 makes it worse has come to pass. Bah. I have worked on computers for ...forever! Before Anthony was born I got checked for Rhuematoid Arthritis - the diagnosis was that it was either Carpal Tunnel or RA but they couldn't say which at that point because they have the same symptoms and I have RA titters. They did say that since than - so from age of 23, I've had Osteo Arthritis. Usually it doesn't bug me unless there is a major jet stream coming through - but now - instead of my wrists, its my freaking SHOULDER! From working the mouse - really? I can barely move my shoulder some days to do my hair >.< and it is working through my neck and down the front of my trapizoids? Anyways - that comes and goes. However, I have these lovely lungs. Ugh. I was diagnosed with reactive asthma about 6 yrs ago - they say it comes from my allergies. So, whenever I start wheezing I resist going to the Dr - I know he will just say it's allergies are you using your inhaler? Than Dean always heads to the Dr and comes back with bronchitis - yep got it from me >.< - and than another week or two - heading into about 6 wks now my chest hurts and I've started an antibiotic because I wheeze constantly, my chest hurts, my sinuses are killing me. I've woken up twice with Asthma attacks in the middle of the night - really? Never happened before and really scary. Uh - the pleasures of getting old.
Fun things: Anthony and Arianna went to Layton Homecoming this past weekend. =]
2011/09/10
A Full Week
It was payroll week - we actually balanced - which was awesome and helped each of us to get to places that we needed to be on Wednesday. Olivia turned 11 today. Time has really flown by - I wouldn't mind that so much if I had good recollection and memories of the past 11 yrs or 20 for that matter but I confess I don't. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe I've acted in ways that I shouldn't remember or don't want to remember; however, maybe that's bad in I feel I miss some of the little things I should remember for my kids.
Olivia participated in Little Lancelle's this week. She wants to be famous - she's a lot like her mom. Hopefully though she will have the confidence I lacked. She and her best friend Mary went to 3 2 hr practices and than danced at half time at the LHS football game on Friday. Friday was also her party with her friends - so 3 went to the first half of the game with Dean and I. Poor things, they knew nothing about football or who was playing and were bored out of their skulls. Thankfully, they were very good sports about it and had each other. Left to Right on the bottom picture....Olivia, Kara, Emily, Ivey, and Mary. The got little purses that looked like jean skirts to decorate and put their party favors in :) - they watched the movie Prom - such a tween thing to do and loved it. Ate McD's chicken nuggets, fries, 7up, Mickey Mouse cupcakes and strawberry ice cream. I hope they had a good time - it sure was loud enough. >.<
I got Anthony's butt out the door and over to the Physical Fitness Merit badge counselor's house today. He's had that badge done for over 6 months - took him 4 times to do it - seriously? That is pure laziness - he's a Sr this year and has taken gym all but 2 yrs since 7th grade. >/ grrrr. His Eagle Project is finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hence get yer but over and get your last badge signed off! He's been filling out his paperwork and is almost complete with it. Tomorrow is the court of honor so he will turn the paperwork in to his leaders for approval and his badge for getting - NEXT court of honor - >.< doofas.
Anthony and Max at Olivia's party when they poked their heads in the door. If Max doesn't get his bum moving he won't get his Eagle - it's finished - just that ONE merit badge and he turns 18 in January. >.< *sigh
I got Anthony's butt out the door and over to the Physical Fitness Merit badge counselor's house today. He's had that badge done for over 6 months - took him 4 times to do it - seriously? That is pure laziness - he's a Sr this year and has taken gym all but 2 yrs since 7th grade. >/ grrrr. His Eagle Project is finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hence get yer but over and get your last badge signed off! He's been filling out his paperwork and is almost complete with it. Tomorrow is the court of honor so he will turn the paperwork in to his leaders for approval and his badge for getting - NEXT court of honor - >.< doofas.
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