Here I am... AGAIN!

Today was interesting.  Had a good laugh with my sisters during work- it relieved some tension we were all feeling with the new insurance that keeps having typical bleeps and glitches.  We watched Ady as usual (my great-niece, Susan's grandbaby) but she was in a mood for not feeling good.  Wesley tried to kill himself on Terry's new dirt bike - wouldn't Emily - past due pregger's any day now - love to hear that?!? Ugh sometimes men are just plain DUMB.  The evidence is in Susi's backyard and I think it will leave a scar... mhm *eye roll*.

Sooo tired today - prolly from being drugged up.  My Dr thinks he's funny and thinks I could have a new hit song with my familiar saying of my "Pocketful of Pills".  From the child whose mother had to force pills down her throat to taking literally the entire palm of my hand full of pills a day.  Geesh and ugh.  So the Staph Infection is gone - YAY!  BUT, it has now left FUNGUS.  Sounds delightful right?  It has the little red bumps and the yellow infection underneath like before and red surrounding it - but it is on BOTH feet - seriously?  *grumble grumble*  My immune system is so low - I keep asking them to freaking just give me a Gamma Globule shot like I had to have from the age of birth to 8 - every week to graduating to once a quarter.  But of course that is old school and only for the military and no one will listen to me.  A couple of years ago I asked for a Kenalog (sp?) shot.  For my lungs/asthma/allergies because they were getting worse...oh no that's OLD SCHOOL.  Guess what?  I was sick enough earlier this year that not only did I GET a Kenalog shot but also a Rocefin (sp) shot ALONG with my antibiotics, etc.  Geesh people would you get it through your thick skulls that I have lived with this body for 42 yrs and I just might - MAYBE - have an idea where it is concerned?  *grumble grumble*   Therefore I now have, 1 steriodal cream for my feet to apply twice a day - mhm, a Z pack because it seems I have a nice double ear infection (while I was on 2000 MG a day of anitbiotic it seems that antibiotic doesn't touch "regular infections" >/ ), and of course, a month's supply - one a week of Diflucan because all these lovely antibiotics are REALLY going to kick my yeast into overdrive. :D  See?  Happy smiling me. :D

BLESSINGS:  I laughed with my sisters.  Rip roaring, all three of us, laughing.  It was good.  I got my nails done, they were way too long and needed repainting.  It cost me more but they GEL painted them and guess what?!?!  They are perfect!!!!!!!  For those that don't ever see or haven't or don't remember, my fingernails hate me.  They chip, crack, break, have ridges and only last maybe a day.  Nail polish is a disaster.  I use my hands for EVERYTHING - including talking - and therefore the polish is always chipped, cracked, dinged and ugly.  It ISN'T!!!!!  I'm so HAPPY! :D :D :D :D ok I know it's silly to be so happy or to consider it a blessing but why wouldn't it be?  Would you rather I classify it as a miracle?  Hmm... I could do that too. ;)
Ben was wonderfully responsible today with all the animals, bless him and even took care of the neighbors house since Anthony isn't home.  And for reasons unknown, I received TWO long hugs from my hubby. 0.0 wow- yay me.

Paix loves

Something small

I keep looking at my blog and feeling sad.  Sad that I don't post anymore, I used to love seeing comments people would post.

I'm trying to come back....to start posting again.  Therefore, to make it easier on myself and all of you (wink wink) I've decided that each day I will post about one little blessing in that day.  No matter what my day will bring, how I am feeling, there is and always will be one part -big or small- that brings a blessing into my life.   Maybe something I share will help someone think a little differently, look a little longer, or feel a little stronger than they thought they could be. :)

Small and simple my blessings today are that my Staph infection is GONE.  I have fungus now due to the antibiotics that is under and above my skin that I must fight but that is a fight I am used to and can handle.  Also, simple lol - I bought a new 1 liter water jug with a pop top for my diet coke at work.  Why is that a blessing?  Because that way when I flip my arms about talking, working, or just moving and I tip my drink over - it will not waste 3/4 of it by it ending up on ME, the floor and my desktop. =P

Small and simple, wonderful and good.  They occur each day in some small way, we need to find them.

Another May 8th

So today is May 8th.  Some years it takes me well into the day to remember what day it is, other years I remember around the exact time what was happening six years ago.  I suppose it will always be this way since you can never be sure when or how memories will affect you. 

I actually thought I did really well today - sentiment wise.  I didn't dwell on it, I did my work, ran my errands, got my brain fried by children and my nerves rattled.  So what exactly does that mean, it means that whether i consciously thought about today or not - I knew what it was, it was constantly present in the back of my mind and now I am feeling the emotions.

Strangely enough, I do miss my mom - enormously.  However, that is not the feelings that I am having.  My feelings at the moment are of being overwhelmed, anxious, unhappy, and disappointed.  I could take the easy way out and simply say it is my new herbal remedies that are trying to flush out my candidia.  I would rather admit though, rather than place the blame on something besides myself, that I am very possibly suffering from the candidia side effects - one of them being depression.  Add that to my memories of today and yep, I think that explains enough.

Went to an Eagle Court of Honor tonight.  Very nicely done, was for Max, Anthony's friend and scout companion since 3rd grade.  Anthony's will be held on June 2nd - they wanted to do them together but we felt it was more appropriate that each boy get his own time and recognition.  Plus, Dean's mom has just been down for Women's conference and they are coming down at the end of the month for his graduation.    Yep, there are some things it would really be nice to still have my parents around for.  I hope that they are watching and participating in the proceedings at the end of the month and that Anthony can feel their spirit. 

Sighs.  Hard to blog when you feel this way; however, it seems to be hard for me to blog anyway. =P

One of my nieces brought me up some JD Robb books (Nora Roberts).  I find it interesting and will just say - what is the use of writing under a psuedo author if your REAL name is going to be plastered above it?!?  I mean really?  Geesh.  The books however; are very fun.  It's a detective series following the life and career of one Lt. Eve Dallas and her husband Roarke.  Yes I will agree with most that told me he is a hot babe and don't we all wish our husbands were that in tune with us?  Yep, gotta be fiction, but it tells well.  My #60 finally came up with the most recent Johansen book "What does kill you" about Catherine Ling and I hate to say it but ... I'm bored.  I know right?!?!  I have been waiting for this book for MONTHS and I am finding it lacks what I was wanting.  I will skim through the remainder of the book and turn it in early and #61 will be ecstatic.  I checked out some other books by some random authors to see if I can find another author to scour books for... I'll let you know.

Thank goodness, it's almost 10 pm.  I can almost call this day officially over.  Paix