Hmm

So I'm reading this new book - the Four Agreements, its a native American belief book. Interestingly enough, my philosophy of saying that everyone and especially me is wearing a "mask"? It is IN THIS BOOK~! Wow, nice to have a confirmation to something :).

Dean is changing from Cable to nothing but the HD and land TV. Therefore, my email is changing once again...since he keeps doing this I'm going to stick with a generic email - I only have like 4 or 5 - pfft. Please change your main email for me to kzgris@gmail.com and the family email to ztroop@ymail.com yes Y not G - yahoo is stupid.

Not sure if I'll be blogging again...I was very excited about his book and was reading it in the tube while soaking in an essential oil "Balance". Yeah well its just as bad as getting inspiration while in bed - its gone the minute you get up or out. =P I also burned the last strands of three online bridges today. My chest and heart hurt. I know part of it is my bronchitis but most of it is not, I have learned that much from seeing my zoner. This book tells me to not take what other people do personally - I hope it tells me how - I can understand their side and why something is done, but just as when someone dies - I am feeling the grief and loss of three very close spiritual friends. Guess I need to do more reading.

Interesting...this past month

Besides relatives finding really old scary pic's of me - lol Amy =P.. It has been a very interesting month. Full of ups and HUGE hit rock bottom downs and thankfully full of a couple of really good people that thankfully listen to the Lord and answer his call.

For those of you that remember my online friends, Tyler came back within this past month. Yeah, the kids from Florida. I never, ever, expected to hear from him again, in fact I had totally written him out of my life and cut him out of my heart. Pretty hard to do when you are spiritually connected to someone - whether they believe in the spirit or not. I was just chatting with my massage therapist, Kimberly, who recommended my zoner. We were chatting about friends, boomerangs, spiritual friends that you connect with, and the one your meant to be with. Kimberly is awesome, a funny, short - SHORT LDS dynamo so if anyone knows of a good man out there in his 30's - tell me so I can set her up =]. Anyways, she said she read a book that described those friends that you feel like you've known forever - those friends that you had in heaven and have found here again on earth- this author called those your "soul mates". Mate as in friend not lover. He called your sweetheart, companion - your "soul twin" because they are the other half of you. I really, REALLY like that - cuz its so true. I married my soul twin and often joke with him about how ppl must look at us and wonder how he ended up with me cuz he is the better half. =] well, in my eyes atleast, I definately won a prize when he decided on me, I don't know if I'll ever understand why but I'm grateful. I also have 3 really great soul mate friends - one that I found and have been "boomeranging" with for heavens - 27 yrs?!?! - he just boomeranged right back in again - nice how the Lord knows what you need and when. For those of you that are concerned - don't be - I've always had guy friends, not female friends - I'm too much for some soft women I guess ;] and yes my honey knows all about and everything that I know about my friends. The other two I just met 3 yrs ago - my online boys that I feel almost like more of a mom to.

I'm learning that life is what we make it - lol I've always known that, but I guess I'm saying - what we "accept" that we've made it. We will always have regrets but you can't live by them, you can't live with "what if's" or "supposes" either. Somewhere along the line, we or someone for us - made the choice. We are who we are today because of those choices - whether we wish something in our life was different or not - we can't wish to be someone different, or it wouldn't be what you wanted anyway.

Another Veterans Day

I hate to admit it but since we don't get Veterans Day off anymore, it tends to slip my mind. Don't get me wrong, I love my country and am very, VERY grateful to the men and women who sacrifice to give me my daily freedoms, now and past. When we first got Veteran's Day taken away as a holiday I was really ticked off. Hello - we are a state run institution and we are taking away Veteran's Day?!?! That just didn't make any sense to me. Instead they gave us an extra Personal Preference Leave day. At that time I swore I would use one of the two days on Veteran's Day but years later, alas my preference days have been used as sick time.

I honor the men in my life who have given all, who continue to sacrifice and those who wouldn't do anything else. My father, Vaughn Terry; my nephew in laws, John McKeown and Caleb Heder; my friends, Jason Blood, Rod Miller, Mark Howell, Mark Baxter, Jeff Anderson, Byron Peterson. I am sure I have forgotten someone and I don't mean to, you are all honorable men and I am proud to know each of you. I am grateful for wives and families who miss their dad or give their dad so that I can complain when I am cold but have the right to raise my flag this day.

Living within 5 miles of Hill Air Force Base, it has never bothered me when the jets have flown over. I hear it and smile...being the last born in a family of Army brats I never remember living on base. But my dad taught me to be proud of my heritage, my country, and what we stand for. So I love seeing a man in uniform, get a little upset when they shame that uniform - love hearing the jets and planes fly by and practice, for I know that one day they may need those manuevers to protect me.

It may sound corny but anyone that really knows me knows its true, I am definately proud to be an American, and all that stands for.