Seriously?

I just have to say I am getting really, REALLY tired of this PTSD and whatever else it is that is sapping all my energy. I AM NOT Eighty yrs old; therefore, I should be able to do much more than the typical 80 yr old. I went to work, woot busy day - can't stand to get paid to do nothing, so busy I was late for carpool, fine that stressed me out made me somewhat anxious. Yes, I know, I did text the kids and there was no problem but I was LATE and I knew it - personal integrity thing you know? My house has not been a mad house, it's been a normal teenage boys live here house today. Anthony is into making movies again - YES!. That means no more mopping around, thank Heavens! But it also means Matt, Max, Ben and Anthony are traipsing all over my neighborhood and house being silly, loud, and busy. Not a problem except when they take off and don't tell me they are gone >[ and than I find out that Anthony is riding onto of Max's car down the street filming........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! #(#%*$@)!@)!_~!_$%& Seriously, it's a good thing I don't have high blood pressure, I'd be dead. Olivia than comes up with "Oh btw, I need a costume for my little poetry skit thing on the last day of school" >.<........but Ivey has an idea - GOOD! Pack Olivia, a big cardboard box in the car and drop her at Ivey's - I like how that's getting done. :) Cherisa is being awesome and doing some of my yardwork stuff that my body won't let me do - buuuuuuuut, that requires texts (while driving, at work) ummm...0.o *breathe. So I've taken some anti-anxiety med's for just such occasions...made my double batch of bread dough and am letting it rise...and sitting here writing on my blog. Trying to relax, trying to not crash before bedtime....really wanting to get outside and plant my strawberries >.<.

Memorial Day 2011

Typical to Utah we started Memorial Day off with SNOW! It melted here by 10 am but the snowline is down to the homes on the upper eastsides. Rivers and creeks are beginning to exceed their maximum, they have reported that our rainfall/snowfall for this season has exceeded that of 1986 when State Street turned into a river. Should be fun - not. I currently would like it to rain a little less so that my little plants can have some sun and start to GROW. :)

I worked today for the first time in 20 yrs on Memorial Day. I only worked about 3 hrs so it wasn't that bad, just weird. Everyone else was home and I had to get up and leave...like I said ...weird. We are BBQ'ing hamburgers and hot dogs tonight for dinner and firing up our new fire cage to roast marshmellows, starbursts and make S'more creations. Nummy :) Cherisa is out with friends on and off all day, we invited them back to our roast/fire tonight so it should be fun. However, the kids have school tomorrow so they might be out there by themselves which they might actually prefer :). The kids rented Gullever's Travels - the new one with Jack Black. Of course, I prefer the old one with Sean Connery...:) yummy. That's okay I guess, seems that Hollywood can't do anything original these days, they have to remake and so called "improve" anything from the past. Excuse me, it was perfectly good and had no crap added to it, unlike they will do now I'm sure. Why can't they just digitize the old like they used to colorize the old, old? Okay, off my soapbox.

I have Anthony finally starting to finish up his Eagle Project video's. YES!!!! He will have four completed this week - happy day, happy day. The fifth will come after his Court of Honor since it is on Hard Work and I want his Eagle Court as part of the video. Summer starts in 4 days, I guess I'd better get set in stone some projects and activities, plus my schedule for my kids. Hmmm...when to do that.

I had a birthday....ewww I'm over 40

This is my beautiful baby girl and she really has nothing to do with me being a year older except for the fact that the older she gets, I do too. I really don't care that the numbers say that I am 41 because I don't FEEL 41. Now, if my body just wouldn't look like (or feel) like I'm 51 it would be much better.

I had a really nice birthday. My oldest brother called around 8:30 and left me a msg since I was in the shower, one of my sisters sent me an email to apologize that she get over to see me that day, I got birthday cards and over 60 Happy Birthday's on my facebook 0.0. Yeah, that last one shocked me BIG TIME. I had Happy Birthday's from a few people I totally didn't expect, no wishes from some I did but overall, wow. Olivia gave me the Feature Family Films version of Rigoletto - one of my absolute favorites. I love the music and just the moral of the story. The boys gave me an Itunes card that I've already pretty much spent >], Dean gave me a book that I wanted entitled, "Through His Eyes" (something about accepting your true self). We went to dinner at Applebee's, came home for Cheesecake (YUM). Around 9:30 I got online with friends I've never met personally, only electronically from Canada, Michigan, Arizona, Oregon, and Alabama. We all met playing a MMORPG called Yohoho Puzzle Pirates. It's a multi-game real player game filled with puzzles. You heard me right. Tetris type games, matching games, etc however, you are a pirate. So you can have a house, a boat, furniture, clothes, a whole little world - different oceans. You go out on Pillies with people and the only shooting is at other boats but that is a puzzle also. It ranks you on skill of the puzzles and that makes it addictive - well for me, trying to be better than I just was. Some of my best buddies got on after all of us not being on game in over a year, recreated pirates and all just to say Hi or come pilly with me :).

All in all it was a very nice day; however, I don't know why but I was extremely sad all day. Almost depressed but not totally, it was just hard to describe. It started before I found out that one of my best friends Mom died unexpectedly that day. I'd met her, I loved her, I had her on facebook - so that added to my sadness but the weird thing is that it was there before. Idk, can't explain it.