Bleh

That about sums up today. I still wish I were in bed, covers pulled over my head and reality not feeling exsistant. *sigh

Saturday I woke up with a sore throat, draining sinuses and thinking "great". Sunday early am during coughing fits I was awake trying to swallow/breathe and thinking "crap". Stayed in bed most of Sunday - took a Black Pepper Essential Oil bath (followed by shower thank you) and weirdly enough felt better. Thankfully Monday was a holiday since I didn't really sleep much of Sunday night again - this time bathed in my Forgiveness Essential Oil and just lazed about. Feeling much better on Tuesday, I actually got out of bed before Olivia was to leave for school, showered, dressed (hey, that's a TON right there)- did a load of laundry, balanced the checkbook and paid bills all by noon. I was feeling pretty proud :) - Cherisa came home with possible dinner guest so we took off to Dinners by Diana before carpool. Worked after carpool, than just kinda lazed around last night. Yep, if you know me at all lately you guessed it - it was too much. Really? I mean REALLY?!?!?!? That is a typical day - hello nothing stressful, I felt good about getting things done but it sapped all my energy and at bedtime I was groggily wandering around my house, bumping into things, trying with anything left to tell my stupid body to RELAX so that I could sleep. *sigh Therefore, today I did NOT want to get up nor did I. A major allergy attack last night boasted 2 antihistamines before bed, 2 muscle relaxants, and 3 anti anxiety - just to freakin relax enough to sleep. I don't even know what time I fell asleep. My body decided it WASN'T better from being sick - ugh just pulling my leg I guess - plus no sleep equalled a really bad morning - I think I roused myself from the dead at 1pm. I still have no major motivation - this has been going on for 2 yrs - can't it be done now?

Let's top off my day....last night my oldest, who has been mr happy, etc etc lately - came home completely defeated and depressed. So...we chatted. Besides the fact that the pills the dr prescribed didn't help and he is still having pains, he felt stupid, overbearing, and ill at ease. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black as I reminded him that he cannot control how other people feel or react. ha ha ha - poor kid, he is WAY too much like me. And before you worry Rebecca, no Shannyn did not hurt him. :) Part of his angst is the fact that he has two F's and two D's. Yeah, mom got on his case yesterday - especially when I came home from doing carpool to find him asleep instead of doing homework....*eyes roll...sigh. Teenagers and their hormones and their drama and their schoolwork - need I go on? Today he came home grumpy from school still - only this time he failed his chemistry test - oi vey...I knew he shouldn't have taken chem but you can't tell a teenager anything...they have to learn and still - mom's don't like these lessons. So, Anthony is grumpy, I made Ben cry......eyah. Well, I didn't just pull Anthony's grades yesterday I pulled Ben's. Five F's - FIVE?!?!?! What is he just a zombie walking the halls? Seriously.....so, now I'm at a undecisive point in my life again. I quit my job, I wanted to not have a job after not supposed to be having one once kids came (yeah right) but our finances tell me otherwise. I got offered a job - I start next Tues - first day of the month so that I would be not missing a paycheck anywhere and even get extra for when they paid out my vacation days. However, looking at my boys grades I am now wondering again if I should really be taking another job. Can my health and my children survive the differences a new job is going to make? Yes I get to still do some at home, but I still have to go in - yes, it's now only 10 min away, but when I don't sleep I'm not up by 10 am which is when I'm going to have to be at work. *sigh my poor little brain hurts.