I signed up for an excercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn't you know it............brain cells come and brain cells go but FAT cells live forever!
Don't argue with an idiot.......people passing by may not be able to tell the difference.
(My Favorite......)
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said, "Implants?" She hit me.
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Next to Maxine the Ducky cartoon sent to me via email was excellent.
Lately I've been trying to re-examine myself, my stupidity with my emotions and the lack thereof that I have to control them. I look at my set of friends that I've pushed out of my life. I still care for all of them but for some reason or other I shut the door on them and have tried to not have any contact. Don't get me wrong, my curiosity would kill a truckload of cats each hour on the hour so I usually know in some way or other how they are or that they are still okay in their own little worlds. Tyler - I pretty much adopted this kid in my heart but too many things just didn't make a complete puzzle. He claimed he would tell me anything I wanted to know - question ended up was I an idiot to believe him? We had a huge argument 2 yrs ago, he came back 6 mo later and stayed about 6 months than left again - no word. Last year he sent an email saying Hi, wanting to know how I was and how our mutual friend was. When I told him I no longer spoke to her he never replied. He sent me an email THIS year - out of the blue wanting pictures that he had sent me and drawn for me (supposedly). When I sent them he wanted to small talk - I'm no good with small talk when water isn't fully under the bridge. He claimed to be "shocked" at my reactions to talking to him, I told him he could disappear for another year - he has. I told that to Brandon who laughed - this is not my normal response to people unless you've done something to me that you haven't cared to explain or just don't care about. I seriously wonder if T just has a multiple personality disorder or what. It's like I was talking to 2 different people most of the time, one calm, one aggressive - one nice, the other deliberately using me. I guess I will never know. :) Brandon - I have known this kid since he was 14, he turns 20 in October. We've had ups and downs, deletions, scream fights (online of course) and we've had a lot of fun. I don't approve of some things Brandon does but that doesn't mean I don't like Brandon. Right now he's on my computer on fb and the cptn of one of my alts on YPP but we really don't talk - we both still have baggage hanging out there and water kind of stopped up not being allowed to flow. We've tried and discussed a few things but there are still some very personal items that are still there mainly on my end - his end just doesn't care, that is probably my biggest problem. Those are the teenagers - than there are a few adults.
Heather, is probably reading this. I know she checked my blog a couple of months ago - probably like me, just checking to see that I'm okay and everything is alright. I met Heather threw one of my teenage friends - they were friends in real life. This teenager died and asked me to help look after Heather. I love Heather, she has had more crap in her life than any one person should ever have to put up with or deal with. I've been on the other side of the computer when some of that has gone down - that's a very hard situation to be in - knowing something is happening but unable to do anything or help. Heather did her best to be the kind of friend she felt I deserved but that included us lying to each other. She not telling me what really was going on and me not telling her everything in my life because I knew she couldn't handle it or fully understand it. That's okay, but that's not a good ground for a friendship. Heather does amazing for herself and her son considering her life - most people would have given up long ago but she keeps fighting and surviving. I'm hoping that I am through enough of my PTSD to try friendship again with her, I miss her. I couldn't handle what was going on with her and my own mental/emotional life disappearing, I had to make a choice and for my family I chose me. Mel - hmm :) Mr Mel, my M&M - hard and crunchy on the outside but melt in your mouth soft on the inside. I literally bullied my way into Mel's life and he let me. I will always be grateful and I miss him the MOST of any of my lost friends. Mel would stay up with me when my body wouldn't let me sleep - he'd keep me company on YPP or we would just talk if I was working. Nine hours was our record - lol, we chatted from midnight to 9 one day because I couldn't sleep. We learned alot about each other, not important stuff of course - the silly quirks, stuff like that. We mostly learned that even though our worlds are VASTLY different, we liked alot of the same things - theater, movies, books, music and games. Mel is the little brother I never had, me the big sister he never had..we once were that close. Than I did something at the time felt right because I was scared and worried and had gone through something similiar with Heather. Because of our differences he freaked, he bolted, and than I did what I do best and I started to blame myself. Martyr (he called them) emails from me trying to understand what I did wrong were sent for over a month - wow, I guess I never got over being whiny or needy....crap. We finally started talking again but it was never the same. Log on's with no acknowledgment of the other being on, no texts, no IM, no games, only fb and that was gaming talk about every 3 to 6 weeks. I lost my second best friend and I figured I had to deal with it - obviously it was hurting me more than him since he still was texting, IM'ing and gaming with others. So unfriended him on fb and as of today I haven't spoken to him in 4 months. I don't know which was worse not hearing from him for 4 weeks at a time or now not hearing from him at all....*sigh.
Maybe my problem is that I really don't know how to be a friend. I've always felt that I've had better friends than I was in return and I've tried to fix that. Unfortunately I haven't hit any middle good ground yet and I'm either too much or too little. :( One day hopefully I will figure that out.
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