So its been a rather emotionally stressful week - I know, when isn't it it seems at my house. This week was a little different - different emotions. Anthony's Eagle Project got approved - WAHOO! (good emotion) he starts on it as soon as school gets out. He is remaking the video aids that the Elementary School Counselor uses to teach the kids values. Its easily a 100+ hr project with him doing what he loves, filming, editing and directing. =] Anthony also has been having a difficult time passing his 1 night school class. He's passed 3 already but this last one is giving him angst- therefore he is very frustrated and discouraged and afraid he may have to take summer school which would put pressure on his Eagle Project and the possibility of a job. (tense emotion) Benjamin came down strep AGAIN this week and missed almost the entire week of school. (frustrating emotion) His strep keeps getting more frequent with worse symptoms each time. Missing school just adds to his missing assignment frustration and bad grades when he knows he can do better. He is looking towards a tonsilectomy this summer. (not sure emotion) Olivia is Olivia and a mini-version of her mom, not necessarily a good thing. She has had a school performance that she's been excited about for weeks but been scared silly about also- she's has been stressing over the school spelling bee- friends and church activities. Typical 9 yr old little girl stuff - atleast I hope. 0_o Dean is in process of becoming certified in one of the software programs the U is changing to this fall. He has had to take numerous tests and complete projects - along with heading up 3 projects at work, his calling as Executive Secretary in the Ward and kids stress and a wife who still isn't well. (major stress) Me? I still am not sleeping....I thought that was changing - they put me on steriods last week to try to cleanse a lung infection but when I went off the steriod the wheezing came back =P. I did sleep somewhat better this past week which of course was offset by the fact I slept not at all last night and have maybe slept 2 hrs today =D gotta love it. Some of my stress was relieved this week when I got to cry. I don't cry as easily as I used to. But when I found out Wed that my best friend from HS had surgery for Thyroid Cancer - it just wasn't stoppable. I know it isn't my place to tell the Lord what trials I will and will not have but really? Can I just keep some of those I love around me?
Haha - yeah like the country song says, "sounds like life to me" and it is around here. =] Nothing new, (except the friends illness) same old same old.
I taught RS on Tues night - interesting. I haven't been to church meetings except maybe once so far this year. Saturday and Sunday are my crash days when there is another adult at home and I am allowed to sleep - my body takes full advantage unfortunately. It didn't go too bad since I was teaching a mini lesson on visiting teaching being that I am the visiting teaching co-ordinator. The other mini classes were fun to listen to - yes- I stayed - I know everybody fall over =P. I simply worked well into the next morning - again, nothing new.
So I believe I know what causes idiotic mid-life crisis - as I hit my mid-life (I hope) this week. (meaning I hope its midlife not sure I want to live to be 80 but you understand) I'm not where I thought hoped I'd be at this age. Lol, yeah I know - since when does life go the way anyone plans it. I never really had plans, I've always just kind of let the Lord take me where I've needed to be. I'm talking about myself personally. I've never wanted to be this overweight - I've never wanted to be emotionally changed more than I was as a teenager, especially not at this age - and many other things. Of course, most of it is my fault. When Dean and I married - I had a gym membership and I went every morning before work. When the company closed its memberships I simply stopped going. I lived in downtown where it isn't easy or sometimes safe to go riding a bike or walking alone. Yet for many years after I started having my kids I told my dad - I really need to start lifting weights again......well we can see that never happened. There are most things about your life that you cannot control - you can only control how you react to them. I fear in this area I have let myself down but than I try to remember that when your down the only place to go is up =].
2 comments:
Wow. Craziness. You seem to be holding up well though. It was good to see you on Tuesday and on Thursday as well, even though I didn't say much. I'm still trying to adjust to the weird idea of being in Relief Society and playing mom for a few days was...umm interesting. Anyhow, hang in there, get some sleep, and good luck with your goals. If you feel as if you've somehow failed, pick up and try again. And it'll be okay. Everyone falls short at one time or another. It's part of being an imperfect mortal. Don't let it get you down. Just move forward.
Kathee, who had surgery? Love your openness in your blog.
Robin
(Bohman)
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