Okay, its the 27th so I officially have to say that I am now 40 yrs old. I don't feel 40! ugh. Hopefully I got my mom's gene's - she didn't look or act her age until she hit about 70 and only than because she got ill. It's funny the perception we have of ourselves. I hate looking in the mirror - I do not see the person that I feel I am, I always get rather disappointed. I blame that for my getting fat - lol. As long as my clothes fit and I couldn't see myself in the mirror I was good - until we redid the bathroom and got a bigger mirror >.< booooooo.
I was originally supposed to spend my bday in Nephi - where I grew up. Not that I wanted to turn 40 in Nephi lol but Loreta Whicker is retiring and it was to be her reception. Well, they moved it to Mon the 24th and I didn't sleep at all Sat night nor Sunday day so I pretty much slept through it and didn't go :(. So I moved to alternate plans and intended to go spend the day with Steph and surprise her. Eyah, I'm just gonna stop making plans - I never seem to be able to keep them. *sigh*
I honestly swear I am either turning Bi-Polar or am definately in Peri-Menopause, now that I'm 40 will you test me?!? jimminee. So on the evening of the 25th around 5pm it had been a good day. No mood swings, getting things done- yada yada....until 5. I have no idea what happened at 5 o'clock but I hit below dirt. I felt bad about it but couldn't do anything to prevent it or pull myself out of it. I took my extra anxiety pills - nothing. I felt bad cuz my daughter wanted to give me a hug- I wanted nothing to do with her, my son wanted to drive home- I wouldn't let him, one of my friends on fb tried to chat but I was taking the chat the wrong way- I wasn't in the mood to be playful, a couple of friends on msn tried to see what way wrong - I ignored them. Ugh....I don't get that mood often and I'm really glad because it scares me and I hate it with everything I have. I wanted to not be touched, not have any one around me - I even tried to go sleep on the couch but it wasn't comfy like normal so I went upstairs and was grumpy in bed. Needless to say I felt like crap this morning! My head hurt, my chest hurt, my sinuses hurt, and I was still grumpy - but not as bad. So, I stayed in bed (nice to have the day off =] ) and didn't get to Steph's =[....yeah that added to the mood- I'm such a good friend...not. Anyways, so Happy Birthday to me, I'm the poop at the party lol.
I was really surprised at how many ppl said Happy Birthday on fb. Really surprised....it was nice. =] and a couple of really good friends sent me some funny bday emails and songs - that helped -Mel decided not to hate me for ignoring him (♥) and actually had me laughing within the half hour. Linda and Dave surprised me by coming up for dinner with us and bringing me a cake. =] and than it was off to the final band concert of the year. The first I've actually been too this year >.<>]. I turned rice into flour and thus got rice dust ALL over my kitchen - oops and made up another batch of Quinoa. Tomorrow I must make bread (ok later today), cookies, cash checks, do laundry - yeah, I'm gonna need that Quinoa.
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