I don't understand how kids these days simply are too lazy to turn in the work they've done. When they have a failing grade at the end of the term it suddenly dawns on them that "OH CRAP, I'm going to have to do MORE work now - like go to night school". Ugh. I don't understand! My 16 yr old had good grades until he hit mid-year 7th grade Jr High. It was like someone told him, "you're supposed to be an idiot, so act like one" >[...grrr. With all the major stress he in at the beginning of 7th grade - turning 12 (new responsibilities at church), my mother passing away, upcoming piano recital (of which he was the "main attraction" but didn't have his piece memorized), the kid still made the honor roll! Therefore, unquestionably, I have been scratching my head, trying not to pound his head for the past 3 1/2 yrs. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?!? He's suddenly all nervous, 2 days before end of term - so with A and B days that makes it 1 day before end of term actually, "I have to talk to my teachers, see how I can improve my grade!"....excuse me?!?! If I were your teacher I would laugh in your face...I hope they don't but still - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? I admit that my freshman year in HS I goofed off. I took easy classes - which I didn't really try very hard at and was much more concerned with my "non-social life" than with schoolwork. That lasted about 1/2 a year and than I wised up - my parents weren't happy with me. I was not allowed to bring anything home below a B-....8 kids, car insurance discounts, strict parents - you get the picture. I know that schoolwork is challenging and my husband couldn't bring home below a C - so I have to be lienent to that but I would rather not. If my grade at mid-term was below a B-, which it usually was in Science, I busted my BUTT with the teacher to see how and what I needed to do to get that precious B- within the next month. I got yelled at, questioned, and grounded if anything was below - I do nothing different with my kids - SO WHY DOESN'T IT WORK ON THEM?!?! My parents were scarier? Well yeah probably most definately but your telling me I have to make my children scared of me for them to actually CARE about anything and take any responsibility? That doesn't sound right - I have my share of parental temper tantrums at them but come on - really?
My 8th grader is FAILING HOMEROOM. Does this sound incredulous to anyone else? Homeroom?!?! Since when can homeroom give a grade besides P or F?!?!? My 8th grader is falling into the same rut as his brother. I have tried this both ways....I have pulled in the momma control strings - I have looked up grades each day, gone through backpacks, issued cell phones so that I could text BEFORE they left the building to make sure things were turned in....all it caused was headaches for me, contention in my home and I hated school as much as they. So then I tried the complete opposite....I told them they were in charge, it was their responsibility, I was trusting them....uh hunh....my oldest's gpa went from 3.0 to freakin 1.9 >.>. With a controlling mother he was atleast not going to night school but doing that makes my physically sick these days - the contention and frustration are taking their toll on me. I know there should be some other way...any way, that my children can return to the responsible little stinkers I am raising. Come on... seriously? You take the time and the effort to do the school work and than simply "forget" to turn it in?!? How is that possible when the teacher ASKS for it?!? I don't understand, I want to understand, but I don't understand. I hate mid-term and end of term just as much as my kids. They know I'm disappointed, they are disappointed in themselves...a pep talk only goes so far when it's simply because they didn't turn their work in. A pep talk I can give when the work is done and turned in....I don't know how to "pep" laziness...all my cajoling and pepping hasn't seemed to do any good. I really, really don't understand. Somebody help me? Please.
2 comments:
The answer is bribery. We've had the same kinds of problems with Kellan for YEARS and it wasn't until we offered a real incentive for him to work hard ($$ for grades) that things changed. Now he has a tangible goal-stuff he wants to buy, nstead of a non-tangible one-good grades, pride, etc. At this age the non-tangible rewards aren't appreciated by them. Bribery has turned out to be win/win for all involved.
I would say try for a medium between all controlling and hands off. Perhaps sit down and check grades with them once a week or so - just to make sure they've turned everything in and are on the right track. You could even set up a weekly reward (drawing on the comments already given) so that when they have to come look at their grades they can get rewarded if they're doing things right. Yelling and nagging tend not to work, especially with teenagers. However, the right reward system can work wonders. Also, watch out for things like low self esteem and depression. Those will demotivate them to the point where they don't want to do anything at all no matter what you promise to give them or how much you threaten them. When that happens, go easy on them and take things one step at a time. It really is different for every person. So I would say pray a lot. Maybe even fast (if health permits). Search the scriptures. There are some good examples of parenting in there.
Good luck with everything. Life can indeed give you confusing and frustrating situations at times. Don't get discouraged. Things are going to be okay. <3
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