Not sure....hmmm

I'm not sure that all my thoughts make sense ;) but when have they ever right? Different things going on therefore different thoughts constantly at battle for the spotlight but all it is, is a mass of jumbled words. Let's see if I can assemble them into any such order. =]

I started and have now completed the first three books in the Inheritance Series by Christopher Paolini. As a writer he impresses me, such as he wrote Eragon when he was 17. I keep trying to write, I long to write. However, my imagination is impatient and I see what I want to write in sum. It is very hard to pick details out of a whole picture...I still needs learn to pick the picture apart and study it, than write it. I have completed a book, yet as I look at it, with anything a perfectionist does, it is not good enough for me. Therefore, I will look at it as though it is the premise of thought, awaiting additional idea's and instruction before it is truely complete. Alas, the book I started long ago and wonder if I should ever finish, is still only a few pages long. Somehow I wish to incorporate these two books together. I have had much thought on this but I believe it requires much more. The books I mention are first "Perchance to Love" and second, "Learning to Love Myself". In title alone you can see that they are not so much alike, yet I believe that you must love yourself before you can love another. That is my hope that will bring them together. Goodness, major digression.....I was going to conclude about the Inheritance Series that I found a passage in there that has stuck in my mind. The dragon, Saphira, says, "partner-of-my-mind-and-my-heart". I really like that and yes, it does have the hyphens in it - I don't know why.

That brings up what else has been roaming around in the dark recesses of my brain...friendship or love. I am a very firm believer in and can often be heard saying, "You cannot help who you love". I also believe there are different types of love, that all are not related to "physical affection". I love my children as their mother....fiercely, adamantly, whole heartedly and without reservation. I love my husband as my eternal companion, my helpmeet, and my steady rock in a shaking world. I love my family mostly because we are siblings. Many of my siblings are very good friends, not just siblings - anyone with brothers and sisters should understand that statement. I love my parents with my full being and realize the moments I should have cherished and will never have again. And, I love my best friend. That has been my crux if you will these past few months. Many who know me would say, "Well, Dean is your best friend, that makes sense" and it would and does; however, I have two best friends. Sometimes it is weird as I try to keep myself mentally awake and morally straight (as the scouts say =]) concerning any and all of the love in my life. If asked, I would tell you that the people in my life who love me, do so because they have to. Don't get me wrong, I know that they love me; yet as my book title states, I must learn to love myself in order to fully embrace the love I receive from others.

I was not able to listen to all of General Conference last weekend. Thankfully they have it OnDemand on Comcast, as well as the General Relief Society meeting. My wonderful neighbor made sure to tell me that this meeting was definately different than those in the past. =] She also has difficulty with Relief Society at times, coming out feeling more cross with yourself for not doing ALL that you could be instead of feeling better about what you are doing. I am told it was wonderful and uplifting, and she cried -simply because she felt loved. ♥ Good, I look forward to watching it than. =]