Heard the term anxiously engaged? Yes a lot of people use it for those about to get married and can't wait; however, it's really meant for being involved in something that you are excited about. Yeah well, that isn't me at the moment. I don't know why I'm anxious, I hate my anxiety. One of the best ways to describe it is a constant feeling of nerves: if I'm laying down I feel like I have to use the bathroom, if I'm sitting up I feel like ...ok you don't need to know that one. Let's just say neither feeling is pleasant and makes the feeling more anxious. I really didn't expect my anxiety to come out after the funeral, I thought more the depression and a little of that has - however, it brought a companion - yippee! -_- Not.
I went to the garden yesterday with 6 teenage boys (ages 14,16,17,&18), 1 teenage girl age 16 and my daughter (10). Let's just say that these boys don't weed as well as girls and if any of them had a complaint about being there I didn't hear it. It was really nice for once to have company out there that was just chatting along, cracking jokes, making fun - it was more fun and seemed to go quicker. I paid them all in Slurpee's from 7'11 since Chevron's Icee machine was broken. $20 for 1 1/2 hrs work from 8 kids? I consider myself LUCKY and blessed. Anthony is FINALLY, finally finding some really good kids that like him for who he is and that he has a good time with. Just like his mom poor kid, took me until I was a senior also. He posted on facebook tonight how his Great Grandma's funeral has helped change him and he finally feels free to be himself around everyone. I don't think it was the funeral but just being with the cousins he normally doesn't get to see, getting to hang with just them, doing service for Grandma & Grandpa with them and sharing a little bit of the responsibility in the driving. The last time he went to see Sarah my reflexologist, she commented how he is MUCH improved emotionally, which I'd already seen - now we are working on confidence in schoolwork :).
I digressed lol, like that isn't normal =P. The garden is doing REALLY well, I'm so excited to see that things are growing and taking shape. I harvested all the lettuce - 2 full baskets (large baskets) full and it should start regrowing again. There are flowers on my tomato's already, my zucchini plant is getting HUGE, the pea's are nice and tall - in fact I think I need to go get some ladybugs, I think I've got some aphids. Besides the raccoon, the SNAKE - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - ahem, that the kids just found yesterday - it's all good :)....gulp. I don't do snakes...just saying. He can stay just as long as I never see or hear him. ugh- shivers. The raccoon was actually kind of cool but BIG. There are a couple of densely populated tree's on the neighbors acreage so it wasn't really surprising. I haven't seen him since and Tyson hasn't said he caught him; however, I'm sure he'll come back around once my tomato's and corn start coming on. >/ than he won't be so cute. I have about 1/3 of my basket of lettuce left to wash and put away. Unlike carrots or cucumbers, my lettuce will wilt if I leave it so I can't *sigh.
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