I've always wondered why I never had patience. Lol, in ANY shape, form, size or conjuncture. I have false patience with other people and other people's children - that's part of my mask. But that gets really, really tiring when used for too long.
So as sitting here this morning: I chatted with a friend, did some distilling, swordfighting, and bilging - so in a sense, was thinking =] -and I realized, impatience comes from unsurity. Yep, I like my new word.... unsurity=the not knowing if something will happen, let alone when. Ding, ding, ding!!! The bells of this "recovering perfectionist's" brain went off. Does that mean that now that I understand patience that I will get some.... erm, NO - rofl. It simply means, that the Lord has finally allowed me to understand so NOW, I get to work on it.
Let me explain... we all know that there is OUR time and the LORD's time and the twain never meet. Therefore, sometimes when prayer is offered, the Lord grants our petitions yet, requires it in HIS time, not ours. So are we REALLY impatient waiting for this answer or is it that we are questioning our FAITH that he WILL really answer. When my kids don't come when I want them NOW... my impatience seems to be more of "did they not hear me", "do they not want to hear me", OR "am I not important enough to them to listen to". BINGO! Hit the name right on the head. Impatience has nothing to do with other people - necessarily - it has EVERYTHING to do with me. How I see myself, how I view others and how I LET myself RESPOND to what "I THINK" is going on around me.
It's not that other people have more patience than I do..... they just simply have better self control and better self esteem.
1 comment:
You know Kathee, I just had a little thought about patience after reading what you said. Maybe that is patience, that even though you feel frustrated and want to blow your top, you instead choose to say something kind or not yell. Perhaps you are more patient than you think.
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