This Nation Shall Endure

 

My father and mother raised readers.  They both loved to read and so do all their children.  Oft times I am reading something mythical or fiction, allowing myself a chance to daydream or simply escape the world around me and in my head.

This post is dedicated to everything going on in America right now.  No, I didn't say the United States of America sadly because I feel and know that our country currently is divided.  Due to COVID 19 or Coronavirus, or the maxed-out version of the flu+pnuemonia... schools have shut down, church has shut down, many businesses have gone out of business due to social distancing rules or being unable to just stay open with people being isolated in their homes.  As the virus numbers have risen once more, we were admonished to adjust our church attendance again.  -*asterik means sidenote, yes this is how I talk getting sidetracked :P.  *Interesting how churches have tried to be shut down but with modern technology and simple means, we continue to find ways to worship, the whole premise of why this land was settled.

During our Zoom Sacrament Meeting my father's book that I now have in my library *pictured above* came to mind so I got up and took it off the shelf.  For those not familiar with Eza Taft Benson, he was a prophet of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and also the Secretary of Agriculture under President Dwight D Eisenhowser.  The preface of the book is a quote from another one of our dear Prophets, John Taylor.

    "God will have a free people, and while we have a duty to perform to preach the gospel, we have another to perform, that is, to stand up in the defence of human rights - in the defence of our own rights, the rights of our children, and in defence of the rights of this nation and of all men, no matter who they may be, and God being our helper to maintain for the honorable of this and other nations to flock to, that they may be free from the tyranny and oppression that is sought to be crowded upon them.  This is a duty we have to perform, and in the name of Israel's God we will do it." 

*yes, defence is spelled correctly, look it up =]*

I shall read this book, I never have, but today I did read the last several pages out loud to end our own Sacrament Meeting and would just like to share a bit.

    "I am grateful for the Founding Fathers of this land and for the freedom they have vouchsafed to us.  I am grateful that they recognized, as great leaders of this nation have always recognized, that the freedom we enjoy did not originate with the Founding Fathers; that these glorious principles, this great boon of freedom and respect for the dignity of man, came as a gift from the Creator.  The Founding Fathers, it is true, welded together with superb genius the safeguards of these freedoms.  It was necessary, however, for them to turn to the scriptures, to religion, in order to have their great experiment make sense to them.  And so our freedom is God-given.  It antedates the Founding Fathers.  it is an eternal principle."

    "Yes, we have a rich heritage, but may I remind you that nations ofttimes sow the seeds of their own destruction even while enjoying unprecedented prosperity, even before reaching the zenith or the peak of their power.  I think history clearly indicates that this is often the case.  When it appears that all is well, ofttimes the very seeds of destruction are sown, sometimes unwittingly.  Most of the great civilizations of the world have not been conquered from without until they have destroyed themselves from within by sowing these seed."

*The world is watching America right now..why?  To see if we will destroy ourselves from within.  We were name THE UNITED STATES of AMERICA for a reason.  When united together, we are a force to be reckoned with, a bond undefeatable. Why do they care?  Because they still know, like many Americans have forgotten, that this is a blessed country, a powerhouse nation among nations that no one has defeated and won't defeat, unless we let them.*

    "In 1973 the First Presidency said, "We urge all members of the Church and all Americans to begin now to reflect more intently on the meaning and importance of the Constitution, and of adherence to its principles... In these challenging days, when there are so many influences which would divert us, there is a need to rededicate ourselves to the lofty principles and practices of our Founding Fathers."."

    "Let us not permit these admonitions of our living prophets to fall on deaf ears.  Let us, as they direct, learn the meaning and importance of our God-ordained Constitution.  Let us rededicate ourselves to the lofty principles and practices of those wise men whom God raised up to give us our priceless freedom.  Our liberties, our salvation, our well being as a church and as a nation depend upon it.

    This nation does have a spiritual foundation- a prophetic history.  Every true Latter-Day Saint should love the United States of America, the most generous nation under heaven, the Lord's base of operations in these last days.

    May we do all in our power to strengthen and safeguard this base and increase our freedom.  This nation will endure.  It may cost blood, but it is God-ordained for a glorious purpose.  We must never forget that the gospel message we bear to the world is to go forth to the world from this nation, and that gospel message can prosper only in an atmosphere of freedom. We must maintain and strengthen our freedom in this blessed land."

We (especially myself) have become complacent and lackadaisical in standing up for our beliefs and our freedoms.  I leave you with these words, "Do It".  What a difference it would make in our country today if all who recognized this would just "DO IT".

Wow this blog is Old lol

 Well to catch you all up after 5 years I am now divorced and on dating websites... yes, my life is still blessed but far from the heckin' easy.

I've listed on my bio's on many of the dating sites the following sentence "Not your typical Utah Mormon but I am LDS".  Now obviously if the man is LDS - they usually don't talk to me- which is dumb but their loss and if they questioning or know nothing about the church they ask...what does that mean.  It's hard to describe in a few shorts sentences on chat and I don't text in long pages.  Therefore, here I am, updating this dusty old blog to share what this means, in detail for those that are interested.

**Disclaimer - I have many friends of all religions, race, creed, color, and nationality (since I was a RPG player) and to those of my faith.... I should hope you aren't offended.

I grew up in a very small town on the Interstate (yes we were the only stoplight on I-15) but it was larger than the town I had just moved from.  I learned once I reached Middle School and High School or (12-18 yrs this is called Young Womens in the LDS church) that though you all belong to the same religion, you don't all necessarily believe the same thing.  I loved my leaders, most did not reciprocate, the majority of the girls did not like me.  I had an older, more popular and beautiful sister that most wanted to emulate - I was a drastic difference.  I also lived my religion 7 days a week, not just the 3 hours on Sunday; therefore, I was made fun of.  My father, just a side note - was also ex military 25 yrs of service retired as a Lt Colonel, extremely strick and had a degree in Religious Doctrine from BYU.  He was a major scriptorian who could read and speak Hebrew.

With that being said - I was not what my peers thought.  My father was out of town working for most of my growing up and I was usually at home, by myself since my mom worked.  Yes, I watched MTV, I watched SciFi Saturday Horror, I watched some rated R movies with my dad when he was home, I read romance novels by the thousands since I had little to no friends, and I had other sins that need not be mentioned - ooh, I drank Pepsi. ;)

I never dated in High School, when I was a freshmen I had a couple of Upper Classmen that liked me but I wasn't 16 so, 1 talked to me at school or offered me rides home, 1 would visit for a few minutes if he was visiting his grandma, and 1 (poor guy) actually called me when my dad was home (never called back sigh).

Depression and anger started in when I around 13..  I HATED my parents.  I would wake up in a fine mood and all they had to say was "Good Morning" and I wanted to rip their heads off - seriously, yes, that violent.  My dad didn't believe in mental disorders - I realize now that it is probably because he had PTSD (3 wars and 3 tours in just 1- Vietnam- will do that).  I was taught to "Pull Up my bootstraps and Press On".  So I did.  I spent a summer with my older sister, babysitting my nephew and it took a traumatizing event to get me to start reading my scriptures again and start praying.  After that, I felt I had found my testimony but that didn't stop me from doing things I shouldn't.

I swore in High School and only at school because I would have had no behind left if it slipped out at home.  I remember being asked specifically by neighbors two questions:

1.  While giving them a ride home in my truck, blasting Bon Jovi, "You listen to the radio?  I thought you only listened to Church Music!"

2.  When passing out papers to start my anti depression/suicide club, "What do you have to be depressed about?"

I have all those friends and many more (small high school) on my Facebook now.  I'm not the person they thought I was, not then and not now.  I think to myself all the things people missed by judging or listening to someone else's opinion of me and can only think, there had to be a reason. (I do sort of blame my dad ha ha, he would pray every morning in family prayer to protect me from drugs, alcohol, and boys - like thanks dad only me?)

As I moved away, met new people, lived on my own, got married - looking back yes I too was judgemental in my own way.  I would be friends with someone but think to myself, they shouldn't do that, that's bad.  That really made me no better than those that judged me.  I started working on myself and in 2007, the year after my mom died - I could no longer "pull up my bootstraps", too many things, too many trauma's, my brain and body were done.  I broke inside and had to say hello to PTSD myself.

It's interesting when that happens, people don't understand and while you wish they could - you really don't want them to.  No one would wish it on another.  It's been 13 yrs, I still have it but not near the severity that it was.  Some triggers are gone mentally, only reflect slightly in my body; other triggers I'm not fully aware of and don't realize I'm triggered until I'm having a panic attack and my fibromyalgia kicks up.

My PTSD in one sense has changed me for the better.  I am grateful to it for that.  I am no longer as judgemental about people, not even in my thoughts.  Looks?  Okay got me, that is something I struggle with for myself and until I can overcome that, I will still judge you (quietly sorry) and myself more.  

I feel I'm able now to accept people with all their flaws and beautiful brokenness without judgement, with only the thought of seeing how I can help.

I feel I am more patient now (still a life long process) with others but honestly that depends on if I'm driving.

I am very open and honest now, with everyone.  Want to know something?  Okay.

I feel that I try to put others first, even though at times my body makes me stop and take care of myself.

I feel in some ways I am closer to becoming who I once was a little girl who was happy, all the time.  I would sing and dance around the house - I miss her.  I would like to be her again, without the criticism, the being told to be quiet constantly, just free to be me.

I was once asked why I stopped going to church, what would take to make me come back, did I get offended.

I did get offended in one ward but I worked that out between myself and the Lord and still attended church through that.  I stopped going when my PTSD made me sweat like a sauna and have small panic attacks sitting through Sacrament Meeting.  It was nothing I could control - it was a crowd of people, albiet ones I've known for over 15 yrs and I know love me.... it had nothing to do with it.  I've gotten past that now, it only occasionally hits for which I am grateful.

Above and over all, I have never lost my testimony of my Savior. He loves me, cares for me, has protected me from myself and others countless times, I have literally felt his arms around me in times of needed comfort through trauma.  In this sense I am like Joseph Smith, I he lives!  I know it, he knows I know it and I cannot deny it, nor would I ever want to.

Are the people in the church perfect? Don't make me laugh it will kick my asthma in.  Are the leaders? No but they are my leaders and I've sustained them and will support them.  That is different than agreeing with any sin they may commit or anyone for that matter.  The Church is the gospel of Jesus Christ - not it's members, not its buildings, not its temples.  Those are the instruments of his work, his hands to show the goodness and help he can bring.  

We don't all shun other people of another religion or have our children do so, we don't judge for piercings and tattoos and a life lived.  However, there may be some that do because of jealousy or simple not having the full light of Christ with them.  Christ loved all, Christ welcomed all to him - so should we.

A more normal view of BTOB

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WUZYewLvxM&index=111&list=PLQOD7tCzKnYPYtwtFkgZRore5YzcuXduc

Song recording of When I was your Man.... All dressed up, sounding great.

Fighting! Melody ♥ BTOB

Welcome to KPOP, I start with: BTOB Born to Beat

This is Born to Beat or BTOB.  Interestingly enough my daughter got into KPOP by watching a youtubers react and seeing an EXO video.  No, EXO is NOT one that we listen to on any regular basis; however, she showed her cousin who started looking into groups, found BTOB and the rest is history.

BTOB is not as widely known as most KPOP groups and it makes us sad, they are all really, REALLY talented guys.  There are 4 vocalist and 3 rappers; however, the rappers sing incredibly well also.  A few have branched out into acting also, we are hoping that they will become more popular and yes, I admit, we fan girl whenever someone acknowledges them as a group or one of the members.  

Hey, I know how weird it sounds, I'm a 45 yr old married woman with a married son and my youngest the obsessed teenager with KPOP.  It just happens.  Honestly there is no other way to describe it, one day your daughter is showing you a KPOP video and because it isn't your culture or normal, you may at first glance wonder why they look like girls.  After about the fourth video you've stopped that, then she shows you a couple of them singing in English by themselves, she only watches their videos when you are together and now it is everyday life.  Now, seeing them without their eyeliner is weird to me, there is no way in HELL I would ever call these hot Asian men girls and I myself admit to having a few favorite groups and some biases.  Sigh... it happens.

http://misskpop.weebly.com/btob-profile.html  This lady does a great job at introducing people to groups, giving their profiles.  

The leader/vocalist/oldest of BTOB is Eunkwang or affectionally known in our house as Ducky. (no not like NCIS) We had a hard time at first saying and pronouncing some of their names so they received pet names from my daughter and her cousin.  Eunkwang is the blonde, 3rd in from the right and my bias in this group.  Certain people have voices that just grab me and his is one.  I found a couple of videos on my own of him competing in like a "blind voice" type thing, yes I fan girled when they introduced him and opened the doors so he could finish the song, he said he had done it so that others would hopefully start taking him seriously as a vocalist, he took 3rd place. (smile)

The lead rapper/2nd oldest/face of BTOB is Lee Minhyuk.  He is the very center of the picture above.  There are actually three other Minhyuk's that are in KPOP groups so we like to keep him separate.  I don't remember his nickname as he is my daughter's bias in this group (2nd bias overall) and he has always been Minhyuk.  Before he became a trainee and joined BTOB, he was an underground rapper by the name of Heota.  It is rumored he is bringing back a bit of Heota, it is evidenced in his season 3 I'll be your Melody.  Minhyuk is my preferred bias for my daughter - don't get me wrong, I have enormous respect for ALL these idols of these groups, they work harder than anyone I've ever heard of or seen reports on.  For this mom though, the fact that he doesn't have tat's (I like tats don't get grumpy with me!), has no piercings - states he will never have either- tells me a level of dedication and respect for his body most just don't think to have.  He does many sports, self proclaims his talent to be seeing a dance once and being able to do it after.  He seems to be a perfectionist and seems to have an innocence about him, so, yeah, he would be my preference.  His voice singing or rapping makes my daughter smile on a bad day - can't ask more than that. (smile)

2nd Rapper of BTOB Ilhoon.  He is directly behind Minhyuk on the left.  He is my niece's bias in this group.  Ilhoon's older sister is also an Idol, a talented, close family as seen on one of the award shows as his sister ended up next to him and he held her hand and walked with her off the stage. (smile)  He has started doing raps for other idols singles, he is very talented and I used to HATE rap.  The fact that these men have me listening to rap says PLENTY - I listen to all music and used to add, except Rap - well, I can't say that anymore.  I hate to give the other group members less talk time than another but honestly, I know the most about Minhyuk (obviously), then Eungwang and Ilhoon.

3rd Rapper of BTOB Peniel, first on the right.  He's AMERICAN (smiles), no that isn't the only good thing about him but as an American it does mean we gladly claim him. 

Vocalist of BTOB, Sungjae - first on the left. I have to admit I didn't know much about him, he is one that has grown on me and won me over.  He is the macknae (youngest) of the group.  He is also an amazing actor and extremely humble and dedicated young man.  How man American actors do you know that were in a boy band would introduce themselves at an acting interview as, "I am Sungjae from BTOB".  That started it, then I heard his cover of Junsu's (another of my bias) Yesterday - it was amazing and I melted, he's won me over.

Vocalist of BTOB, Changsub, 2nd in from left. Again, a member that grew on me.  I can only claim naivete with him he and Sungjae.  Too many times listening to the songs and not knowing who was singing.  Like I said, all these guys are so talented, could have solo careers if they so wanted.  I've started paying closer attention now to who is singing and hey, it's only taken me 9 months but I can finally tell them ALL apart.  (amazing for me, don't knock it, I'm still working on other groups)

Vocalist of BTOB, Hyunsik, 2nd in on right.  Favorably known in my house as kitten, lol.  Hey, its not an easy name for us but we have overcome our disability with saying it. (smile) Confession time, it was Hyunsik's Moondance in English that won me over to KPOP.  Yep, again, these voices, I just can't explain.

I posted video's if anyone is still with me and reading, I know that there are things that people just sort of roll their eyes at and don't explore any further.  That is fine, for those that are still here and click on any of the video's below, you are in for a treat.  BTOB call their fans Melodies.  Each year when they do a "comeback" (America's version of releasing a new album) each member releases an I'll be your Melody song for their fans.  sigh ♥ enough fangirling  enjoy BTOB, maybe you'll become a Melody. (smile)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqKk_B40y3c  (Hyunsik singing Moondance)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzfXl4SJzqA&index=5&list=FLf9W-7f2yoO_shCgry3dCEQ

(Changsub I will be your Melody Season 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui1v1oqizRE  (Sungjae I will be your Melody Season 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvYULh4YCoQ  (Minhyuk I will be your Melody Season 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erJ1lzOxN-s (Peniel I will be your Melody Season 2 - Jason Mraz cover)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC3c2jdGozY (Ilhoon I will be your Melody Season 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpbutHmMgUE  (Eunkwang I will be your Melody Season 3)

My daughter and I differ on which video to show first lol - I pick this one, from their Complete album.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4rN5Y7Dx_I  (It's Okay)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXcUXWL1mJA  (WOW, Pressplay album)  My favorite.

A group with many faces and for all ages as you can see by the last video.  Yes, KPOP groups like animal onsies... hmm, Eunkwang is Donald Duck(ie) (wink).  One of the things I love about them, that they are versatile for multiple ages.. they pretty much just rock in my house.  ♥ a Melody

My Oldest Son

I believe myself safe to post this here since I really think that my son, actually all of my family have forgotten that this blog exists.  Lol, what happens when you don't post for years.

I started blogging, honestly I don't remember how many years ago, it was supposed to be therapy; however, I didn't have a thick enough skin to say what I wanted to and not care how others responded, I still don't.  I am getting there though and that is a good thing.  Due to not having a thick skin, my oldest son going on a mission, I do believe I have 4 blogs.... none where getting updated except my son's mission blog until he came home this past January.

Many things have happened since January in his life.  His best friend came home from her mission also, their planes landed - not exaggerating or joking - within 10 minutes of each other.  Both families were able to greet them both, it was great.  4 months later the two married.  He is the age I was when he married; however, even though I was the partner with the job, the apartment, etc - I think he feels more the burden and responsibility of being the "man of the house".  The adult world has settled on their shoulders within a short time with all the fun things it brings:  car breakdowns, car mishaps with poles, learning about leases and that people are human and sometimes make mistakes that affect you.  However, they are very much in love and best friends so even while they are adjusting to each other, they have kept firm in their minds that this is their best friend, their eternal companion - we couldn't be prouder of them.  My daughter in law asked for all of us to vlog something for my son for Christmas.  I wrote mine out first and thought I'd write more, thoughts clearer if I write it again here.  My son is too much like his mother with a mix of his dad so while he feels everything and it affects him like his mom, he has a hard time expressing his feelings like his dad.  I am thankful for his wife that see's this and is taking steps to help him see that he isn't what his brain is telling him. ♥  She wanted me to email her my vlog, I will send her this link, pretty sure its obvious that I will be crying while I type.  Here's my "letter" to my son.

This is my baby boy.  He often thinks he is not good enough but I know the truth.  My son is and always has been, MORE.  In therapy I've learned that words others use to hurt us have two sides, good and bad - any words I use are in no way meant in the bad form, never to any of my kids.
He is:
MORE excitable
MORE leaderish
MORE stubborn
MORE emotional
MORE aware
and
MORE talented.

This talented man can cook, sew, bake, play the piano, the drums, percussion instruments, make movies out of nothing but legos, is an Eagle Scout, and can make friends wherever he goes.  I am and have always been so proud of him and often wondered why he tries to hide these things but I will just continue to name them as achievements he has.
He is MORE excitable.  He gets this from my side of the family, when we got married my husband was astounded at how happy my mom was at something he'd done or accomplished.  The more his creative juices flow, as his ideas form, the louder and more animated he becomes.  =]  In 6th grade I had to explain this to his teacher, he was getting in trouble for it.  Others were following his lead and the teacher was at a loss.  When I explained my son to her it was like a light bulb went off, she took his excitement and started using it to her advantage.  Here is the "leaderish" part my son denies... she used it to get the class excited because whether my son believes it of himself or not, when others copy you or imitate you, you have become a natural leader and an example.  The class started doing better and by the end of the year Anthony was her favorite student.  Wow, what understanding does right?
He is MORE stubborn.  The "not good" comment on this was always the Terry family saying that "Terry's aren't stubborn" followed by eye rolls and laughs.  He received this gift and it is one, from both of his parents and their families.  How is this a gift?  Being stubborn is seen as a fault by those that don't possess the quality or by those that cannot convince you to their way.  It is a gift to be able to withstand the temptations of man and peers.  This quality became obvious around 18 months old.  I believe my kids were saved for the last days and these so called "bad" qualities will actually bless them and assist them in what they have been sent to accomplish.  Once Anthony has something in his head, you cannot remove it.  It is part of what made him a wonderful missionary for the church, he believes and has an unshakable faith.  My only problem with his stubbornness was figuring out how to get the right and good things into his head.
He is MORE emotional and aware.  Again, such a blessing while on his mission and in reality, when dealing with the public.  He understands, he's empathetic, and he tries to do something about it.  Anyone that tells him it isn't manly is struggling being a man themselves.  A true man admits to his feelings and isn't afraid to show them as he watches his feelings assist those around them to better themselves and their situations.  Through out school and his mission I received comments from neighbors, teachers -both in school and church, and people from his mission field.  They all want to tell me about how wonderful he is, the little things he does that make a difference to them that others don't think to notice or walk past.  Whether he wanted to do it or not in the first place doesn't stop him doing a service with a smile and by the end, a laugh and good feelings all around.
My baby boy is human, he has faults, so does everyone; however, I would rather he focus on his numerous good points and talents.  It is too easy to be dragged down by the world we live in, the day to day little things can pick at you until you want to throw your hands in the air in defeat.  When you have, Satan has won.  Why is this world the way it is?  So much fear, hate, families falling apart... because it is the only way he can drag the righteous down, if they let him.  Our true purpose here is, as a wise return missionary once told me, "men are that they might have joy, not stress".  He only wins if we let all the little things in life drags us down, the Lord has not sent us here to fail but to overcome the world and Satan.  My scares Satan more than when my son wakes up each morning feeling good, ready to face the day with determination and his natural abilities.
I love you baby.
Mom ♥

South Korean KPOP Culture

I have always loved different types of music.  I consider it a gift from my parents and a voice teacher that tried to train me in Opera.  I would only ever say that I would listen to anything except Rap.
Then my daughter, , developed a talent for being able to memorize raps. More recently she has fallen in love with KPOP and now I listen to Rap.  Why?  Pretty much most KPOP songs have melody and rap.  Each group has vocalists and rappers, some rappers sing as well.  She would love to be able to do the KPOP raps but is still trying to learn Korean.  Needless to say, everyone on her Bias list is a rapper, her ultimate bias is more a vocalist but has rapped a few times.

Bias what?!?!  I am still learning about the kpop culture that has taken over my daughters life and I will admit that it has taken over my music genre.  What has changed in our home? 1. We have Korean food in the cupboard, we have a Korean SnakBox that comes once a month to introduce us to different things.  2. We have purchased KPOP songs on Itunes, made our own CD's so we can hear it in the car, have discovered that Spotify and SoundCloud have the KPOP genre.  3.  If it is my daughter and I or she and her cousin, any and all YouTube will be KPOP related - M/V's, dance practices, weekly idol chats, Korean entertainment variety shows, you get the idea.  4.  Her wardrobe is now 70% KPOP merchandise.

Now people would think this is overboard but let me explain why of all the obsessions she has, that I am perfectly fine with this one and am slightly obsessed also.  For explanation purpose I will tell you that a Bias is a celebrity (idol) from each group that you love the most.  An Ultimate Bias is an idol that has pretty much decided he is who you should fan girl over lol.

Culture is sooooo different and I have a lot of respect for who these idols are.  No, they aren't perfect, yes I'm sure they have faults, they are human but they are also not her hero's.  Korea is very, VERY big on respect - that is a major plus in my book since here in the US it is becoming a rare commodity. Some idols work for YEARS before they can debut.  Years without their family as when you are accepted as a recruit you move into the entertainment companies dorms.  You sleep, eat, and study with strangers until you get to know them.  They will place you with your group that you will debut with and that is who you live with. The competition between groups is extreme which means they want themselves out there as much as possible, there isn't much you cannot find out about a group or specific idol.  Talk about glass houses, these people get ridiculed and called out if they don't smile or Aegyo (cute expressions) when in public.  Anyone that is a current idol you know two things; they work very hard and are smart.  A few entertainment companies will send recruits home if they don't have or keep good grades.  I look at these as admirable traits, who doesn't want their child to have a good work ethic, to get good grades, and be successful?

I found out the other day that unlike in America, in South Korea you pick one group and stick with them until they have made a name for themselves.  Again, because there are so many and they can use all the fans they can get.  They actually love their fans over there and have been known to give gifts to fans that come out to filmings, meet and greets, etc.  The fans make or break them.  Therefore, each group has a "pet name" I call it for their fans, for example:  BTOB's are Melody's, BTS's are Army, Got7's are IGOT7, and 2pm's are Hottest.  We are happy that we are in America where we can like multiple groups and support them.  I don't know that I could choose just one.

In order to do my part in getting recognition for these talented people, I have been wanting to do several blog posts with each one dedicated to one of our favorite groups.  Therefore, there will be a blog about BTOB: Born to Beat, GOT7, BTS: Bangtan Boys, 2pm, and possibly Block B and Big Bang.

The craziest thing about becoming immersed in this culture?  Half the time you don't realize that you have no idea what they are saying and the half you are waiting for the Eng sub titles to be done.

Respect

Different thoughts keep running through my mind yet they all have to do with the same word ... respect. 

I am not so staunch anymore to where I took up the fight anytime I saw someone disrespecting anything - my PTSD has done that to me.  I sit back more as to not purposefully trigger my fight or flight because I will stand and fight and it will hurt me.  My instinct now though is flight, get away from the confrontation but I am too stubborn for that; therefore, not only am I wrestling with myself and trying to tamp down that response, I am carving myself up inside by staying in the confrontation.  Why must things be a confrontation?  Because we are all human, no one likes to be told they are doing something wrong and why does that person feel they can tell you anything?

This is one of my points, respect.  Can you see how it is missing these days?  You are no longer allowed to give instruction on the way something should be done for that infringes upon their "rights" and individual freedoms.  So how does anyone learn what is right and what is wrong?  People are born with a conscience yet some have gauges that are slightly off in that department.  If you cannot teach by word, I ask we start teaching by example. 

Again, respect.  Are little things you do everyday teaching it or teaching it's okay to not have it?  Thought process examples:  This is my neighborhood, I can run around and play in the neighbors yard whether they are home or not, without permission, maybe I trampled a couple of flowers or threw their rocks but hey this is MY playground.  This is a sore subject with many who have little kids, I heard it when my kids were little.  Neighbors don't mind, etc etc.  Possibly neighbors don't want a confrontation because they are neighbors.  When on walks do we stick to the sidewalk staying off lawns and flowers, cleaning up after the dog that is with you?  Do we simply let our pets outdoors with no regard as to whose yard they take care of their business in?  Have you ever said, That's not your yard?  Don't get me wrong, my house was the neighborhood house, plus the cub scout house for over 14 yrs.  During that time I had MANY  occasions to help little boys from the neighborhood and girls realize they weren't in THEIR own homes, they were in MINE.  They weren't in their own yard, they were in MINE - thank you for breaking that board in my fence deliberately with your hammer, it doesn't matter that it looked worn, it was holding out until I could replace it.  Kids played night games and often used my back yard until I caught them, from than on, they asked permission - wow, an amazing idea.  That is my point, don't get all mad because I said your kids are in the neighbors yard, simply ask.

Thought example:  This concert is soooooooo boring, I think I'll text my best friend, if I hunch over no one will see the light and you really don't mind if I share this thought with you right this minute right?  I took my daughter to an Orchestra Concert for her mid-term project.  I was appalled at her behavior.  Her feet went up on the auditorium seat in front her, she texted, she whispered (thankfully whispered not talked).... AHHHH!  Okay, I already have a problem with her sitting like a young lady wherever we are and I will continue to work on that process - ugh.  People put in HOURS of practice to entertain people who DO want to be there, both the performers and their parents, audience deserve to listen in peace and quiet.  Cell phones should be banned from such venue's, although I know many people use them for directions and pictures of the performances.  Again, not only has someone's time been spent preparing for this event, but most likely (if at the movies) you have paid good money to be there, and TIME to be there and enjoy.

It simply feels that no one has respect for anyone anymore.  It has turned into a world of total ME, ME, ME all the time.  I can't respect anyone else's rights because it doesn't agree with MY opinion.  I need to be first, I need to be included, I need to be entertained - it is all about the ME's and I's and no longer inclusive of family or community.   Maybe more of us, myself included, should be more careful of how and what we do, for more than little eyes are watching - big ones are too.  When mistakes are made, simply correct and move on, no one is perfect.

Paix

Awoken by the rain...

I love the rain; the smell, the feel, the sight, and the sound.  I guess you could say it appeals to 5 of my 6 senses which makes it almost perfect.  The fact that it delivers nourishment and relief to my flowerbeds that have been suffering in the over seasonably heat just makes it that much better.  I love flowers, they appeal to 5 of my 6 senses also; unfortunately, I don't always have the time or energy since my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) came into full rage to tend or cultivate them.  Doesn't mean I've stopped buying them or trying, it simply means that sometimes I have to acknowledge that I still can't do everything I used to and learn to be okay with it if some of my beautiful flowers die on my watch.  Not a happy thought, as a recovering perfectionist, but hey, I'm recovering isn't that the point? :)

Over the past month, since my last uplifting appointment with my reflexologist Sarah, I have noticed that I have started to be "interested" in things again.  Its hard to describe, almost like awaking from a deep sleep, remembering the things that used to interest and excite you, remembering your dreams and wants you had in life.  While this is all good and great, it is still frustrating.  Wanting what you used to have; yet still having the limitations of your illness is hard.  Wanting to be normal again, putting on that 'I'm normal" face for everyone each day (yes, I admit it is easier to fake being normal than try to explain to people for the umpteenth time - people who should already know) and than coming home and paying the consequences and having those who accept me and my limitations paying also.  That is one of the hardest things of being ill, what it does to my kids and my husband.  I see them want what used to be and it hurts me not to be able to give it to them.  Anthony wrote me a letter in response to my telling him about my appointment last month.  It broke my heart to hear him say, "I almost started crying at my farewell, as I sat on the stand and looked out and saw ALL my family sitting there together.  I do hope you continue to do better so that when I get home we can go and do things together again."  That just breaks my heart, what have I done to my children?  I know it isn't really me doing it because there is honestly nothing that can be done in regards to some of my symptoms.  That is the hardest for others to understand and accept- you can't and will never be completely fixed or whole again.  It isn't something you chose to have happen to you, who knows if it is anything that could have been avoided, but wishing and wanting don't fix and don't make it go away. 

I have noticed that since this experience began many things have changed about me and looking back I wouldn't change the new way I look at people and things around me at all.  I feel that I used to be too judgmental, claiming that I wasn't and more critical than I wanted to be.  Intermittent showers all day today, equals cleansing for the soul and a renewing of the Earth.  Dinner tonight with good friends that don't expect my mask when I show up and fully accept whatever face comes, how thankful I am for them.

Paix

WOW...a long time has past.

I realized the other day that it has been FOREVER since I've blogged.  I update Anthony's missionary blog at least once a week (okay, I try >.<)  

I decided that one of the many reasons for this lapse is simple, not on my mind.  I now work away from home; unlike 19 yrs previous, I started working for my sister 3 yrs ago.  I am on the internet but working, not blogging.  I get home and my laptop DIED 2 yrs ago and I'm not about to type enough stuff for a blog on a kindle with a stupid spell check and one fingering.  That would be annoying beyond.

I have decided and hope it is possible to be able to start sharing my discoveries and self healing from the past 6 yrs with PTSD.  Does that mean I am cured - ha ha ha ha ha breathe...oh heck no!  PTSD is not curable but it can sometimes be managed in degree's so that the rest can hopefully be put on shelf.  When it all shows up at once, that is not a good day, life, or time for anyone with in my near vicinity.  I know that people don't understand PTSD, what causes it, its symptoms and physical limitations; mainly because has similiar cause and effect yet just as each person is different, it manifests itself differently in each person.

So back in the habit of sharing daily, give me time lol, this won't be easy to remember to do and at times sharing puts me back in the red zone and isn't healthy.  But I shall try and endeavor if all of you try to read with an open mind and an understanding heart.

Paix

There is LIGHT AGAIN!

My thoughts are all jumbled up and its hard to know where to start.  Some song in my earphone pops thoughts into my head to start discussing and than someone makes a comment or chats on facebook and that totally starts a different line!  Wow, never pray for inspiration - maybe moderation in inspiration would be a little more specific and helpful! Lol.

Yes, I laughed and I have tears in my eyes - tears of joy and happiness.  Is my life fixed?  Is it better?  Am I perfect?  Are my children?  My husband?  No, YES, HELL NO, no and no.  For six to seven years I have looked at people's inspirational comments and some hurt because I knew I could not process and go there at that time and that's okay.  For everything a time and a reason and a purpose.  I will never be perfect, I have faults - A LOT - but I also have good in me and I've let the world, the negativity, the grief, and the faults of others crush me for too long.

When I was 17 my parents allowed and paid for me to go to Washington D.C. with a small group from my High School to attend a week long tour and teaching experience with the group Close Up.  It changed me.  I was growing up in small town America where everyone knew your business and if they didn't they made it up.  If you lived your religion and had standards you were made fun of and shunned.  Just fact - shotgun weddings were more attended and celebrated than regular ones.  In my group of friends some of the group were jealous of each other and due to families that had lived there forever, some opinions were valued higher than others.  All that changed in Washington D.C.   Close Up was kids from Puerto Rico, Chicago, New York, Utah, and a several other states I can't think of at this moment. :)  We all split up into groups and the fact that kids that didn't know me treated me better than those I had spent the last 9 yrs growing up with totally opened my eyes.  They didn't know backgrounds, they didn't know details, they saw attitudes, personalities, and judged on actions of the people they saw during meetings and events.  Needless to say, when the group I was with tried to treat me the same as at home, before we left, they got blasted.  I'd had enough, I'd been treated right, my opinion valued and requested and I wasn't just a groupie or add-on.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to share what happened to me yesterday yet.  But I can say that there is nothing greater than the Saviors unconditional love and the forgiveness you allow yourself to feel - about yourself.  Part of the light I used to feel and hopefully radiate, I can feel starting to burst through again.  I can't fully express how wonderful it feels to be happy again.

Having a Missionary in the field....

Those that know me, being relatives or online acquaintances, know that my son left in January to enter the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT and than flew into New York Utica, on Feb 12th.  He is currently serving in Syracuse South, New York. 

Blessings are interesting things.  They aren't always what you would recognize as a blessing.  I'm still trying to figure out a couple of them and how they could be.  I know it just a "mormon" thing to think that when you are in the service of the Lord Jesus Christ that you are blessed.  Scripture is full of examples and I think people like to focus on only the good that they read and don't notice the other parts about how you will be tried MORE for following and doing what you should.  I would gladly settle for a happy medium in this instance. 

I'm not a sugar coater, if you are reading my blog for the first time you find that I am very direct about what goes on.  Life is not sugar coated for the majority of us; for those that it is - hmm, can I have some of what you're on?!? 'Cuz they really haven't found the pill to give me that makes it a "happy pill".  I don't think they ever really can; I believe that recovery and happiness relies on medication, action, and therapy.   They are in process of re-adjusting my NEW medication and I haven't been able to afford my reflexology therapy in months.  Anyway, I digress and am swerving off subject.

I've noticed that blessings from service are sort of like backwards compliments.  You're still allowed to be tried; however, something happens in the middle that makes it less of a trial and therefore it has become a blessing.  For example:  did taxes in the middle of last month.  Our income ran short last year and we did not make our typical 10% donations as we would.  That amount has saved us every year when it came to taxes and increased our amount that we received back - State and Federal.  Unfortunately, because we did not have the money to make our charitable donations, we did not get any money back or nowhere near the money back that we normally would from taxes - like less than 1/4 compared to usual.  For the last 2 yrs now we have owed the State money - this year at the beginning we thought we would owe 4x the amount that we were getting back from Federal.  Yep, I lost it - how do you find a blessing in that?!?!  Well, I found a mistake, fixed it, had my CPA girlfriend come and check it and she found another one.  We ended up getting 2/3 more back in Federal than we owed to the State - now THERE is the blessing.  I would rather my blessing be something like,  I'm getting fabulous returns from both State and Federal and I could pay off a bill with it or at least go somewhere for my anniversary - yeah this blessing we haven't seen in about 3 yrs. hence, I will take getting back more in Federal and being able to PAY the State with it.

I also heard - where are those buzzing little bee's with all this information, so I can SQUISH them!- that when your child leaves on a mission for the church, that they than start to appreciate you.  Hmm, yep, still waiting for that to show itself.  He seemed to appreciate me more while he was home - before he left.  Now all I get are letters discussing how much he misses his girlfriend, how he can't think about the things I've done or mentioned in my letters because that is not where his focus needs to be and he doesn't want the spirit to leave.  Seriously?!?!  *head bang*  I'm trying to do what the Bishop told me and support my son, support him as only his mother can - yeah well, doesn't seem like he wants it.  Honestly, this part is worse to me than having trials where blessings are supposed to be. =[  ... It's about rating up there for when he was 10 yrs old and used to tell me on Mother's Day that he was someone else's child. *face palm*

Pretty much, my blogged is aptly named, my world isn't perfect but it's blessed.  We still have a roof over our heads, food on the table to eat, jobs, and loving people to help pay the support for my son's mission each month.  Paix

BOOK GIVEAWAY - WAHOO!!!!!!

Indies Giveaway

Well, to kick off the Indie-Licious Awesomeness, we've put together a giveaway that will make three lucky people very happy!

We have a gallery of signed paperbacks, ebooks, and swag arranged, and there will be one winner for each category. Check out the prizes, and make sure to check out the authors who were kind enough to donate them!

Prize Package 1 - PAPERBACK LOVE:

Natural Selection (YA Urban Fantasy) – Elizabeth Sharp
Becoming (YA Fantasy) – Raine Thomas
Enlightened - Devyn Dawson
Alaina Downs (NA) – Rebecca Rynecki
Don't Fear the Reaper – Michelle Muto
Beyond the Western Sun & Walk the Red Road (YA Fantasy) - Kristina Circelli
Twisted (YA Romance) – Amity Hope
Wilde's Fire (YA Fantasy) – Krystal Wade
Slow Dance in Purgatory - Amy Sutorius Harmon
The Gathering Darkness (YA Paranormal) - Lisa Collicutt
Sweet Oblivion (YA Fantasy/Romance) - Bailey Ardisone
The Keeper (YA PNR) - Natalie Star-Kroll
Wolf Spell – MR POLISH
Troll Or Derby – Red Tash
Rematch (YA fantasy/romance) - Janine M. Caldwell
Flight - Alyssa Rose
Here – Ella James

Prize Package 2 - EBOOK LOVE:

Twisted (YA Romance) – Amity Hope
Mother-Earth Series & Knot in Time (YA Adventure Fantasy & SciFi) – Alan Tucker
Devour (YA/NA Paranormal Romance) – Andrea Heltsley
Trust in Me (NA) – Bethany Lopez
Travelers Series (YA Sci-Fi) – Claudia Lefeve
Awaken, Avenge, & Atone – Sarah Ross
Doc, Vampire-Hunting Dog Novella (YA) – Julie Campbell
Barely Alive series (Upper YA Zombie Romance) – Bonnie Paulson
Sweet Oblivion (YA Fantasy/Romance) - Bailey Ardisone
Into the Spiral (YA SciFi/Romance) – Erin Danzer
EVER (YA Paranormal/Romance) – Jessa Russo
Quest & Wildflower (YA Fantasy & YA Historical Romance) – Amy Jones
The Only Exception (NA – eARC!) – Magan Vernon
Morgan Wylie's Debut (YA urban fantasy) – Morgan Wylie
Light of the Moon (YA PNR) - David James Knapp
Dark Seeker and Dark Return (Books 1 & 2 in the Seeker series YA UF) – Taryn Browning
Marked & Changed (YA PNR) - Jennifer Snyder
Zellie Wells Trilogy & Day of Sacrifice (YA PNR & NA UF) - Stacey Wallace Benefiel
Cloud Prophet Trilogy & The Swarm Trilogy (YA High Fantasy) - Megg Jensen
Elemental Emnity II, III, & IV - Christie Rich


Prize Package 3 - SWAG LOVE:

You may receive pens, posters, cards, stickers, bookmarks, etc. A lot of this will be signed!
Raine Thomas
Devyn Dawson
Rebecca Rynecki
Andrea Heltsley
Krystal Wade
Stacey Wallace Benefiel
Megg Jensen
(NA) Bethany Lopez
Lisa Collicutt
Bonnie Paulson
Bailey Ardisone
Jessa Russo
Amy Jones
Natalie Star-Kroll
Taryn Browning

Are we E.T.?

I'm on overload.  It is definitely a Maroon 5 day - a day of rewinding through memories to find some peace or comfort.  A friend we've been expecting to pass away finally has, my son I thought I had for another year before his mission is leaving tomorrow.  

I think the Lord knows that when something important in my life is going to happen it has to just HIT.  I met Dean on New Years Day 1991.  Engaged 2 weeks later, married on Mar 30, 1991.  Olivia's head was misshaped and worrying me.  Pediatrician got her scheduled 4 days later for an xray at PCMC, an appt with the neuro surgeon a week later and surgery the week after that. 0.0  Anthony put in his papers Nov 18th, got his call Nov 28th - entering the MTC Jan 23rd.  I believe the Lord knows that if I have time to breathe, I'll than react.  If I don't have the time, than I fall apart and all the nerves display afterwards.   Hence, yep still dealing with the PTSD.

As I was taking a break at work, these thoughts came to me and for once I decided I needed to get them out while they were forward in my mind and not just let them accumulate until I couldn't remember exactly what they were.  I was thinking about "why" ... why is it different when your son leaves on a mission than when he simply leaves home?  Absence of contact.  Pure and simple, absence of motherly contact.  No phone calls to hear your childs voice and confirm that they are fine like they say or hear that something in their voice.  Hearing that they are hurt or ill and not being able to go to them for comfort or care.  Not being able to "touch" (important to me) when they are down or in need of support or inspiration.  It's not cutting the apron ties, you know he is leaving for a strong, good purpose.  You believe and you trust that he will be in the Lord's hands.  It's more like severing the umbilical cord again.  For 9 months you nourished, talked to, sang to, loved, felt every movement and your child depended on you, lived under your heart and heard it beat.  Giving birth is difficult, painful and not a fun experience.  Yet when the doctor places that baby in your arms to hold and take care of ...nothing can compare.  Therefore, I'm using the analogy that raising your child is like being pregnant, a mission like giving birth, and the homecoming of an honorable young boy, now a man - like having him placed in your arms at birth, all over again.

While thinking about this it also occured to me, one of the most painful things for the mom is not hearing from her son.  He could be fine, he could be healthy, strong, and serving and doing what he needs to get done - but doesn't have time to write home.  How precious are those calls on Mother's Day and Christmas.  A big holiday when you are remembered, when you get to hear your son/daughters voice and know that you are still apart of their lives, still thought of.  The thought was given to me that I have a Heavenly Father that feels exactly the same.  When I don't say my prayers does he wish I would talk to him?  Does he long to hear from me just because I'm his child?  Sure he knows what is going on in my life but isn't it always better when you hear it directly from the source?  How often do I think of him and rely on him - only on Holidays?  Only in times of sorrow or trial?  Wouldn't I feel better and have more peace if I shared all my joys, my excitement, my hopes and dreams instead of just my sorrow and disgust?  It's something to think about. 

Oi, another sleepless night. . .

 Found this in my "drafts".  0.0  I didn't know I had blogs I hadn't posted.  This is from 2010 - and I like my last paragraph so I decided to just post. =]










(maybe one of these days I'll find a "current" pic of me I like! >.<)
Ok, point proven, not even Tylenol PM helps put me to sleep - freak! I really wish I knew what my body was doing, I'm tired but it won't let me sleep =[. Very, very annoying. Lol.

Let's see, do I really have anything to blog about? Hmm prolly not so you'll have to put up with my ramblings - tomorrow I shall go buy the book "IceFire" (I think that's what it's called) next in the series I'm reading and than I can atleast be in bed and not in front of the computer at this hour =P.

Hmm, a thought maybe. It's really assuring to know that you aren't always wrong. =] How's that for a whopper! But think about it, how often do people go out of their way to prove you wrong, even if sometimes your right? How do you do what the prophet suggests and "NOT" try to prove yourself in contention? Can you let it go and deal with the injustice? Most of us I think would say NO - cuz that's the natural man and a little thing called PRIDE. Do we gloat when we've been proven right? I would hope not. I'm sure through the years I've done my share but I'm really trying. Trying NOT to be so pessimistic as I was raised; trying NOT to be so hard-headed, um yeah, that one might never leave =]; trying to show those around me that I love them, friends, neighbors, especially my kids and hubby; trying to be the best person I know to be. Pretty hard since I don't know who that person is yet. However, I'm willing to help others along the way find themselves, hoping that it will shed a light on me and show me an example of how to live.

Let's not be afraid to BE. BE the children of a Heavenly Father who loves us; BE an example of good in a world turning bad; BE a strength to each other, to all those around us; BE of good cheer and BE a light unto the world. That's what I want to be.

Last Family Vacation with Anthony

We headed up to the Adams Cabin over New Years Eve for a final get-away, kind of vacation with Anthony.  I have lots more pictures but they will have to go on another time.  As you can see, we had snow.  We took Cherisa, David and Linda, and Abby with us.  Full vehicle, full cabin and lots of fun.

Highlight of our trip?  We took the back way to the cabin, not knowing that the plow doesn't go around the loop. >.<  Yep, we sunk.  Thankfully David in his Ford Diesel Extended Truck was there to pull us out.  He had boxes we folded down and a couple of boards -  wow - so thankful!  One chain broke, our emergency shovel broke and yeah - we had great fun for about 3 hrs.  The kids hiked down the loop and got the ATV's and shovels.  They were all cold and frozen but stepped up to the plate.  Anthony did a lot of hard work that weekend and we were very proud.

Missionary Bear

When my niece Danyelle's hubby (than boyfriend) left on his mission to the Phillipines, her mom Susie made her a missionary bear to hug and hold while he was gone.  We were just at Deseret Book, saw their missionary bears and I have to admit - theirs are UGLY!  Sorry but they really ARE.  My sister makes the cutest and most realistic stuff ever.  She even made the cute little bear BELT for him.  Than found a camera case at Deseret Industries (WHOLE BEAR. clothing, bear, etc is from DI btw) so that he could have a little back pack!  Anthony had a mini Book of Mormon so we are going to include it for her after he has written his testimony in it. =]  How fun!

Olivia decided she is going to take her Build A Bear that Anthony gave her (his from Disneyland) and name him Anthony to sleep with while he is gone.  Not sure if DI makes clothes that small but we will look for her the next time we are there.  I bought a cute bear but don't think he needs clothes ;) okay, he has a scarf.

Susie even made a treat for Anthony's mission bear - or should I say Abby's mission bear.  The favorite animal is a Jelly Fish!  Susie makes hats in less than one night - I swear this multi-talented woman - so she made the bear a yellow jelly fish hat!  I will have to take a picture of the bear with it on when it is in Abby's arms. :)

Another Book Giveaway!

I so LOVE finding book giveaways! =]

Even if they are books that I have not read, I am always after new authors and series.  I HATE coming into the beginning of a series and than having to WAIT forever to get the next - so I try to find series that are already completed ;] or another new series that has different publication dates so that I can flip flop between.

Oh - for those that are not on my Facebook - I totally WON the autographed book that I blogged about before Christmas!  WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  SO FUN!!  I loved opening the book and seeing that the author signed it with a scripture quote from the Book of Mormon.  Awesome!  I didn't even know it was an LDS author - double wahoo to me!  For those that don't remember the book I won was, "Defenders of the Covenant" by Angie Lofthouse.   Autograph:  God's purposes roll on! (Mormon 8:22) he he

Okay so here is the book I'm looking at winning.  Jennifer L Armentrout's Opal. =]

I've never heard of it but read some really good reviews on it.  Here's to crossing fingers and hoping!  If you want a chance to win yourself go to : http://www.rottenapplereads.com/2013/01/i-think-i-gave-myself-enough-time-to.html?showComment=1358633392100#c3827955078539234218 


Good luck!

12 Books for Christmas

http://nothoughts2small.blogspot.com/p/twelve-books-for-christmas.html

My author friend Amy Sutorius Harmon, I've mentioned her books before - I thought.  Anyway, she posted a link for this blog, a friend of hers that is doing something really cool.  She is giving away 12 books for Christmas...and to win, you simply have to share the authors.  She is introducing people to new authors, new books and gives you a chance to help their career, and build your library! What a really cool idea, I wish I'd thought of it.  Anyway - if you would like to participate, the link to her blog is above and it lists the books and the dates and how to enter the contest.  (She also has pictures of her dragon collection on her blog - WOOT! - she's instantly MY friend!)

We are busy, busy, busy which is why my blog is suffering and there aren't many posts here.  I am trying to keep a blog for Anthony, if you don't have the address it is:  http://myzengermissionary.blogspot.com  .  I started it the day he got his mission call and am blogging our activities, our preparations for his quick departure, and than it will have all letters and pictures that he sends home.  New York, Utica Mission - January 23rd - wow, it's going to come fast and Christmas is smack dab in the middle of it!

My PTSD is doing really well getting Anthony out the door - I am really, really grateful and actually surprised.  However, I shouldn't be.  That just proves how the PTSD has strangled my faith in his blessings - that he will shower blessings on me and mine whenever I am in need.  Which seems always these days, and I know I am not alone.  The world is getting a little worrisome and scary out there.  I have no fear sending my son out to preach the word of the Lord for I know that he is prepared, he is willing, and he has an unshakable love of the Lord.  He is so excited and I have peace knowing that all will be well, in preparation, in money, and in his work in the field.

Paix

Busy...Busy...BUSY!

Things have been zipping along and moving so steadily that by the time I'm down with down time and ready to see about blogging - thoughts are gone and all I want to do is sleep!  Yes, I am VERY grateful I can actually sleep these days.  So here we go with a brief snippet regarding each picture.

Olivia's 6th grade did a "waxless" wax museum.  The kids had to read a biography, dress up as the character, and when their button was pushed, deliver a 2 min speil on their character.  Olivia chose Shirley Temple Black, did a little dance with song in the middle and did a great job!  I was very, VERY proud of her.  Her focus was good, she had very few blank outs and slip ups.  Great Job Livey!

This Adylae - Susan's granddaughter (Danyelle's) that turned 1 in November.  We watch her Mon-Wed- Fri each 

week.   Susan found this cute Horse Halloween outfit so we put it on her and took some pictures.  She is so fun and we have a good time.  Below is Grant the III, Susan's other grandbaby (Wes's).  We watch Grant everyday but Monday's.  He is a cutie as you can see.  He has this great personality and I by CHANCE grabbed this photo! He he he

On November 11th Anthony was ordained an Elder in the Melchezidick Preisthood.  His papers were submitted that next week the 18th.  He received his call TODAY - the 28th!  He will be serving in the New York, Utica Mission - reporting to the MTC on January 23rd.  AHHHHHHH!!  I have set up a missionary blog already :) (I know right?) you can subscribe to that blog it is:  myzengermissionary.blogspot.com.  I started blogging today on it and I will continue until he returns home.  Any pictures, letters, and addresses will be posted there so that even those that don't have facebook can enjoy if they would like.

 

Benjamin turned 16!! on Nov 7th - so he was ordained a Priest in the Aaronic Priesthood that Sunday also.  Anthony had already been ordained so he was able to stand in the circle to help ordain Ben.  Ben doesn't have his permit yet but will within this coming month.  He wasn't so exited before; however, he now has a term of Drivers Ed under his belt and figures he can probably pass the exam now.  At the Thanksgiving table we went around and around asking each person what they were thankful for - answers?  the Priesthood, bed, sleep, being able to serve a mission, food, pets, and girls.  LOL - yep that was Mr Quiet Ben. ;)  He received a smart man fist bump from his older brother for that.  He knows who he wants to take out, just not if she's old enough yet.  The hard part with him will be getting him to spend MONEY on dates since he is my saver and only spends his money on BIG things that he saves up for.  Gotta love that kid.  Oh - he was Rick Astley (80's singer) for Halloween again this year.  He does a GREAT Rick-Roll!

Paix!