I must confess that the world around you seems clearer and easier to understand once you've calmed down, taken a step back, and reassessed the situation. My last blog was me in pain over things that a friend had said to me, that I didn't understand. They sounded hurtful and my body soaked up all the pain it could. Yesterday, I took the chance to look over the messages again, asked a couple of other friends some direct questions so that I could than refocus and my chat with my friend is suddenly different. My friend was telling me something about their pain and frustration and because it dealt with me directly, I couldn't make sense and understand. I hope I do now. I am grateful that I didn't make "emotional" decisions at the time and hope the same is on the other end.
From comments on my blog, to IM messages with friends/pirates, to teaching my Marriage & Family Relations class, I've come to realize that it isn't just men and women that think differently. Everyone looks at things in their own particular way - that's why we disagree. We give clues to what we are saying, but just don't come out and say it - expecting people to read our minds and know what we are trying to say. I admit, it's a weakness of mine, Dean gets after me all the time about it. However, with that knowledge, (some people call it overkill) I am trying to learn.
Unless you were the cheerleader or popular jock, most kids don't have a great time in Jr High or High School. I was one that didn't. Mixed signals from everyone, also trying to figure out life, left me usually alone, frustrated, angry and assuming. Life got no better as a single adult. With a close relationship to each of my Single Adult Ward Bishops, I received many "clarifying" blessings, most to deal with myself and if I was even where I was supposed to be in life. My eyes were opened a couple of times when 1st one bishop asked who I was dating - no one - when he sat back with eyes wide open and said, "You have to accept them!". I just laughed - well, you know I would if they asked. He was once again shocked, telling me that several of the YM in the ward had expressed interest in me to him. Ok, well telling the bishop doesn't tell me who you are or getcha a date =P. The 2nd time was at Dean & I's 2nd reception, an open house in Oregon. I met the parents of a guy I met Dean through, a mutual friend in the Single's Ward. Blew Dean and myself away to find out that Dean "stole" me from him. Oh? interesting. He never even mentioned he liked me that way or asked for a date..... peculiar.
Once hitting Jr High, I grew up with the popular guy calling me a dog, hmm changed his tune in 9th grade when he wanted to cheat off me =P, sharing a bathroom with an anorexic sister that compared herself to me each day (yeah, I lost), and than having the guys in school who worshiped her tell me that I was "almost as cute as my sister" - lol that one didn't score any points. I don't relate any of this for you to say, boo hoo poor you, rofl, it is in the past. However, I do relate it to show how the things we hear or see each day, help to shape our self image. Helps to shape us into the people we become later in life. Senior yr in HS, I found my self esteem. All it took was a field trip to Washington DC, meeting kids from Puerto Rico, Chicago, and Detroit. As the guys on the trip from my home town treated me like crap - the guys from elsewhere, did not. Wow, what an eye opener.
This is long, lol, maybe I shoulda put it on the book =]. Point being, (I'm gonna mix a bunch of stuff from previous posts) you should never "choose" to let someone else decide who you're going to be. Surround yourself with people who encourage you, uplift, make you feel like your important and bring out the best in you. If others want to tear us down to make themselves look better, we cannot control that. But we CAN control how we choose to deal with it. Yep, sounds great, now to just put it into practice. =P.
No comments:
Post a Comment